So apparently a Hispanic family has my phone number on speed dial and keeps dialing it accidentally. I got a message on my answering machine and there was Latin music in the background and people chatting in Spanish. Then someone called me this afternoon and I heard the same thing. This is all pretty bizarre to me!

I tasted my first cheese curd yesterday! That makes me an official Minnesotan. It's exactly what I thought it would be: deep-fried cheese. Who ever thought of that? What else can be fried, I wonder? Fried pizza would be good.
The people who made this website obviously had way too much fun frying!

I also officially changed my position on Jesus-hair. It was an in-joke with my high school friends because Mara wanted to add it to our list of 100 best male characteristics (which we all made at a sleepover in 10th grade), but I was vehemently against adding it. It felt kind of sacriligious and I also thought it couldn't be possible without looking mullet-ish (not that I think Jesus had a mullet ...or if he did I'm sure he pulled it off:) ). Anyway, I went back to the fair tonight and now I've officially changed my mind. I think the New Hampshire girl in me is attracted to the nuts-and-berries/rugged look.

Kind of on that topic- but from a COMPLETELY different point of view- my little brother is growing out his hair and growing a beard. My little brother! It's so disconcerting.

This past week has been so exhausting! I babysat for my three Hartnett cousins everyday and they all slept over at my apartment last night, and in the process, I unfortunately got to meet the devilish side of each of the sweet children. I think that everyone hides the most irrational side of themselves from their friends and extended family; my aunt and uncle couldn't believe them when I said that my dad was a yeller when I was little- he hides that impatience from them at Christmas and John and I aren't as pesky as we used to be. Anyway, my cousins apparently don't understand that social norm and freely express their irrational anger and frustration in my presence. Every day this week we did something fun: Monday was the science museum, Tuesday- the zoo, Wednesday-the Mall of America, Thursday-sleep over at my house, and today we went to the State Fair. And so everyday I witnessed each of them breakdown at least once (thankfully, never all three at once!). Usually I could pull that child aside and either pleasantly request that he or she stop punching me, or try to distract him or her. Today at the State Fair, Maria became a complete rascal! She's normally the sweetest little 5 year old with cute Shirley Temple curls. I guess she was tired of walking, so she started hanging on my arm whenever I held her hand. Then she started hitting me with her Snoopy fan and then punching me with her fists. Argh. It wasn't even that annoying, except I guess I need to try to establish some control, even though they are my cousins. So I finally reverted to do a fireman carry (I think that's what it's called) so she was over my shoulder and therefore couldn't kick me. On top of her meltdown, the State Fair is outrageously overpriced- $37 for one adult and three children just to enter! Then there were no food items less than $2.50 (a plain hot dog) and each carny ride cost about $4.00. So, in conclusion, my trip to the State Fair was the most frustrating "fun" experience ever, and I felt like such a miser, but honestly! I really don't have any income to speak of.

I took the three of them to a big playground this week and I ended up having a long conversation about my highlights with a 10 year old on the see-saw. Some children have a much more sophisticated understanding of fashion at a really young age then I will ever have. Anyway, she noticed that my highlights were grown out and recommended a stylist who could fix that. I explained that I couldn't afford highlights and she explained that 6 weeks is the maximum life-span of even the most professional job. Oh well. I thought I had my haircare down to a science. I was just thinking though- and this is so random- why can't shampoo companies make a line of hair care products that address all of the problems that one individual might have? I mean, I could buy "frizz-ease" shampoo because my hair is naturally frizzy, or I could buy "springing curls" shampoo which would excentuate my waves. Or, I could use something that would make my hair smell like fruit or flowers; I could buy intensive conditioning shampoo for color-treated hair, or I could buy shampoo specifically engineered for brunettes. Okay, that was long, but this is my actual question: Is it just scientifically impossible to put all of those ingredients in the same bottle (they would combust?) or are the companies just playing upon my desire to meet all of my hair needs and so they know I will eventually buy each of their products?

There are only 10 weeks until the Presidential elections! I think I'm going to volunteer for the Minnesota branch of the DNC, or at least for Kerry's campaign. I'm on a guilt trip: today I added my signature for Nader. It was absolutely not out of support- I think his campaign is a waste of time and young adult passion. It was because the poor woman at the teensy Nader booth at the fair spent five minutes explaining NAFTA to me (as I nodded without understanding anything) and I felt so bad, since he's obviously not going to accomplish very much at all, so I signed it. So there it is: if Bush wins Minnesota, a swing-state, due to Nader's votes, it's all my fault. But, if those Naderites spam by email inbox, they will be sorry!

Tomorrow I'm going to a birthday party for a state senator with my aunt. What do you buy a senator you've never met?

ps- Mike, I think that Starbucks is going to be my only legacy at Wash U. I hope SALT will meet there once to remember me:)

Update: my fish is a survivor! She still looks kind of ragged, but she had a near-death-by-drain experience after all.

This week I've been working on improving my apartment, but it's all been by happenstance. I went for a run around Lake Calhoun two days ago, and on the way back up my street, I saw a cute sewing desk sitting in someone's yard (with a "free" sign). I had such a hard time carrying it the two blocks home! Then today, I stopped at a yard sale and found a beautiful 2 by 3 foot mirror with antique gold trim that matches my chandelier perfectly and it was only $20, so now I have that too! This is the first place I've lived that I really want to decorate- Wash U housing was pretty much hopeless, so I didn't even try. Before school starts, Jake is going to come with his tools and help me paint my bedroom Marigold Orange. He's a pro, doncha know? Hopefully the brightness will prevent seasonal affective disorder, which I guess everyone gets here! I'm really scared for my first Minnesota winter! Eve, if you read my blog, where are you living here? We should meet up for coffee! Well, tonight I'm going to make Newman's Own Bombolina Chicken (an award-winning recipe:) while watching more West Wing. That show is like crack! I love it. It helps so much to start from the beginning too.

I got something really exciting in the mail this week too: a John Kerry '04 sweatshirt hoodie!

Oh panic attack! I was just washing my fish's bowl, when she jumped out when I was transferring her and flipped down the sink drain! She was down on the garbage disposal level for 5 minutes as I screamed and tried to feel where she was and pick her up! She kept flipping out of my hands and I was crying...OMG, it was so horrible! I finally got her out and she wasn't moving and I put her back in her bowl and how she's finally eating again, but I feel like the worst person! The human propensity for emotional connections is so amazing...I mean, she doesn't know that I did that to her, she probably doesn't feel fear- she only knows when she can't breath. But I was thinking the whole time that I would hate myself if I killed my fish and every time I washed dishes, I would have to think about it. She's just floating in the corner of her bowl now and breathing slowly, and I still feel so guilty. What makes me need to care for a tiny fish? Do psychoneurologists understand anything about that yet?

In Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, the characters erase each other from their memories after a bad breakup. There are definitely some emotional memories I wish I could forget...I think the only thing you learn from those experiences is empathy. But with close calls, like fish going down the drain, I learned to never transfer her in the sink again. So it was a learning experience. And it got my heartrate to it's target level!

I have a question: are we too idealistic in college to choose a career based on future income?
I do want to be a teacher because I love children and doing creative activities and coloring with fruit-scented markers; but, will I eventually wish I had just majored in business, retired super-early, and then spent 40-ish years doing what I actually liked? Last week, my Aunt said that she really wishes she had chosen a financially lucrative career because money ultimately creates so many problems at home. Ugh. I got mad at my friend Eunice because she worked in a business job that she hated, but wouldn't leave because she was paid so much. And I always considered B-school majors to be somewhat greedy:) Just kidding, Caleb! I started thinking about money because I've been running at Lake of the Isles, a really posh neighborhood. There's a house that looks right out of tuscany and I started wondering if I could ever have my own bocce ball green with fountain. Where is the line between dreaming and greed? When you cut down your dreams about the future, is it "settling" or being realistic? I don't know if I would fit in in my dream life anyway...I already feel out of place in my parents "mews," so maybe I would feel out of place if I got my dream house. Well, can you tell that this is all procrastination? I have to finish my homework! Honestly, I have one class a week and I still can't get my homework done.

Wolfgang Puck Salad

8 cups fresh spinach leaves
1 cup dried cherries
6 oz. blue cheese, crumbled
1 cup candied pecans (dip nuts in butter, coat in brown sugar, then broil until bubbling)
balsamic or olive oil dressing

This is such a good recipe!
I found a nice starbucks today, in St. Louis Park, MN. Coincidence? I don't think so.

I've never bought running shoes based on how cute they look, but I found these and I couldn't resist...

I also went to see the Bourne Supremacy last night with Jenny and Jake. It was really good!

This is one of my favorite songs...

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes
It didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind

I love this song because whenever I feel powerless, it reminds me of how much power each person has to affect and improve the lives of others. God has really given us each so much humanity and potential for service. And my hands are incredibly small! (Which is why I'll never be a concert pianist:)...I can barely reach an octave).

Cha cha...I bought a fish today! She's a fighting fish and her name is Tutu (because she's blue, white, pink, and teal, and it looks like she's wearing a tutu).

brain mush...
I'm starting to use my metacognitive skills (I learned one thing in edpsych) and I've realized that if I use my brain to write a paper and do a project, then the next day-when I need to start studying for the linguistics final exam- it will be completely exhausted. So, my brain is on vacation, even though I really need it so much right now! There should really be a word for this- if anyone knows it, please tell me. It obviously happens to all students. My dad makes up new words all the time, but they never seem to catch on. One was "soo," which is used like "too," to imply excess. It distinguishes "Soo much pizza" from "So, what's for dinner?" It makes sense to me:) Last week he came up with "hot turkey," which is used to explain what happens when you attempt to stop an addictive habit (smoking, caffeine, etc.) for a while, but can't and then get back on the wagon all at once (ok, that's alcohol, but you get the picture). Then you go overboard and it's like an overdose...hot turkey! It makes sense because it's the opposite of cold turkey. I stopped drinking caffeine cold turkey during lent but then went back hot turkey after a week...it was so bad! OMG, two hours until my final and I've only reviewed a third of the vocabulary. Work, nicole!

ok, superquick, I have two papers to write in forty minutes, then I'm supposed to meet my linguistics friends for sushi, then I'm going to a John Kerry party in Eden Prairie!  I got five hours of sleep last night, but I finally found my paper mode mind this morning...all you wash u people know what I mean.  I drank two huge cups of tea and then I would write a paragraph then run one lap around my apartment!  (It's so cute- my kitchen has two entrances, so I can do laps:) I wonder how many it takes to make a mile...the people downstairs must hate me!)  Anyway, I was so hyper!  Bsing was the most useful college skill.  Anyway, now I have two to write and I have to get in my paper zone again.  Katy- your dad is probably the nice funny guy on the bus.  Someone's creepy when they demand your last name before they'll get off the bus.  That's my new rule.  So, Andrew, how was that chicken?  Oh, I was talking to my grandpa tonight and he said he's going to try to make my brother be Republican...um, no.  That's way too family ties.  I told my grandpa that he wishes that they had more smart people on their side and I think he hung up on me!  I called back and my grandma said "he's done talking."  I really hope he knows I was kidding!

This must be short because I'm budgeting my time to the hour this week- sorry to people who helped me overcome the crazy scheduling last time, but I need to do it again! Anyway, yesterday I was sitting on the bus and a man came and sat right next to me (which is like those obnoxious things to do on a bus lists, because there were only two other people on the bus). He kept asking me questions and touching my arm and even when I gave all the cues that I didn't want to talk (like looking out the window with determination, putting my headphones on, and reading a book) he kept asking me personal questions. So I started lying and hoping he would leave soon...I told him my name was Nicole Brown and I live in Madison. Afterwards, I felt bad because people used to just be able to talk to strangers without such suspicision, and so later, I asked my dad how people treat him on the bus (although I know he could never be that creepy!) He said that two women ride the bus from the same stops with him everyday and have never even acknowledged him, and said that they probably think he's invisible. Is that how it makes men feel? Because honestly, we (girls) today are bombarded with so many stories about what can happen to you if you don't act defensively all the time, that it makes it almost impossible to trust any strangers. So I explained that to him- do other guys feel that way? On the other hand, people today should understand that you can't sit down right next to someone and ask for their last name anymore because our society just isn't that safe, and if you don't abide by those rules, then you're just kidding yourself and are asking to be labled "creepy guy who rides my bus on mondays." I'm still sad that I can't talk to strangers anymore, but I would definitely say "hi" to someone on the bus whom I had met somewhere else or through a friend! Is being over-cautious making us a society of strangers?

yes! I just dropped EDHD 5003, which means that I have three classes, from 12:20-4:30 Mon-Thurs and one on Friday morning. This will be so much better...I'll have time to think and maybe visit my cousins during the week. I am such a happy camper:)

Last Friday I went to the new IKEA superstore next to the Mall of America. There were literally thousands of people there! It's so amazing- the store is set up like a museum, with only one path for going through. There are hundreds of rooms set up with the furniture arrangements and you just write down the aisle and bin number of what you like and then pick it up at the end of the "tour." I bought beautiful $5 curtains, a fancy cheese grater, heart-shaped ice cube trays, and a book shelf and tv unit. I wore my flip-flops and I have no upper-body strength, so picking up my furniture in the warehouse alone was super-hilarious for people watching me, I'm sure! I kept sliding across the floor while pushing the dolly. Then I had to wait in the check-out line for an hour, but the cutest kids in front of me sat on my dolly too and we all played games on my cell phone. I also got cable this weekend, so once I get dsl on Friday, everything will start to be easier.

I went running on Saturday and somehow found Paul Wellstone's grave (which my Aunt hadn't been able to find all year). I guess I don't know very much about his campaign, but I remember John Edwards saying that he was a great champion for the underdogs of society. I hope the Kerry/Edwards presidency can do that too, especially for the public education system. As a future teacher studying the Minnesota Standards for Education required by No Child Left Behind, it seems like the program is mismanaged and underfunded.

I hope everyone has a good week.
Top upcoming thing to look forward to: The Olympics in three weeks!!

I just took my Educational Psychology final exam!! OMG I'm glad that class is over. It was way too much busy work.

I've been so busy in the last few weeks that I'm starting to be really excited about anything not having to do with school. Tonight I'm going to go to Loews to pick out the paint color for my bedroom!! (See the exclamation points? I'm really so excited:)). Having this much work has definitely made me appreciate how boring my parents' daily life seems- I usually chastise them for going to Home Depot for fun, but I think I understand now. Anyway, my color options so far are: Melon Popsicle, Return to Paradise, or Tuscan Gold.

In case anyone else needs to know too, the ECM alumni (us or a- whatever) Blog address is:
http://ecmalum.blogspot.com and the password for posting is the name of our house.

My other plans for the weekend are to buy a bookshelf at the new IKEA superstore and get a pet fish. I'm going to buy a little yellow one and name it Chiquita.

I can't think of anything else, because the only thing I've done this week is study. I highly reccommend that you rent "Before Sunrise"

if you're going to Blockbuster, because it's so romantic and beautiful...it's kind of like "Reality Bites," but with two people in love in Vienna :) But if you rent it, then you can go see the sequel, "Before Sunset," which is in theaters now. I sound like a commercial, but it's just so good!

TGI-almost-F, everyone.

I just saw my cousin Eli take his first steps! He's such a sweet baby and he already looks like a lumberjack:)

I'm so glad this week is over. I met the chaplain at the Episcopal Center at the U of M today (apparently the "the" distinguishes it from U of M). Anyway, the space is very swanky compared to the Rock, but I started to feel nostalgic because it's much less homey. Downtown is so far away from my new apartment though, so I may go to a super-ritzy church that's down the street. It's called St. Stephen the Martyr, and if it's possible, it looks more like an anglican church than SMSG. There are huge, fancy iron gates around a quad with beautiful flowers and a stone bridge and terrace that go over the river behind the building itself. I think it's probably "high church," but I grew up with that and I've kind of missed it over the past 8 years in Michigan.

I'm going to go see Spider-man 2 at the Mall of America tonight. If you've never been to the MOA, you should plan a trip;) because it's like the 8th wonder of the modern world! There's an amusement park inside the mall with roller coasters and a log ride, and there are over 400 stores!! It's so hard to describe how big it is- my best guess would be as big as an airplane hanger, but I've never been in one, so maybe not.

The amusement park is called camp snoopy:)

Classes are so strenuous this week! It's only the 3rd week of the term and we already have midterms (because it's so intensive). It's made everyone really cranky at school because none of us get any sleep or have lives anymore.
My days are so boring:
6am-wake up
7am-bus to campus
7:55-9:55 class
12:20-2:20 class
2:30-4:30 class
4:40pm-bus home
dinner
homework until 11pm every night!
It's annoying, but I need to keep telling myself that I'll have a Masters in a year and start my student teaching. I'm so excited because my mom and brother are coming to Minneapolis this weekend to help me move into my first apartment. I haven't been inside it yet, but it's big and in a really fun neighborhood. I think I'm going to get a fish to keep me company when I'm not busy (which is never right now, so it should all work). I hope everyone is having an amazing time this summer and if you're an ecm alum, please go to the blog- ecmalum.blogspot.com (password: the name of our house) and post your new experiences!

I just saw "Fahrenheit 9/11." It finally showed scenes that so many people have never seen: peaceful, happy families in Iraq before the war. I think it's so easy to imagine that it's a country of crazy extremists running around the sand dunes with huge weapons and killing innocent people at will. At least that's all we're shown. Iraq, and especially Baghdad, was so civilized. And obviously, the people had the same dreams for their lives that we do. There were images of little children playing on swingsets in their backyards.

On September 11, I went to the service at Graham Chapel and then sat outside in a prayer circle with some other students. I hadn't thought about it for so long. Anyway, we each went around and offered prayers. I have always feared the vigilante attitude of President Bush, so I prayed for the thousands of people who were going to be killed just because people from their country had done this to the United States.

While I watched the movie, I actually felt physically sick with the thought that our country had torn apart so many Iraqi and American families with this invasion. Can anyone actually explain the validation for the war anymore? I honestly don't think that capturing Saddam Hussein is enough of a reason. Wasn't there a way to remove him internally? Did we really exhaust every other option? There are so many countries living with oppression and genocide- why haven't we liberated those people?

The Iraqis are fighting back so much now, and I feel like I understand why: if you lived there and had nothing to do with the government, and the United States invades and decides that you and your family could be justifiably killed or taken captive at any time- and then abused- simply because you live there, wouldn't THAT justify fighting back? The poor people have decide between Saddam Hussein or this. It makes me so furious that I live in America and have almost no power to stop these horrible things from taking place.

It also makes me mad that the Bush administration convinced our country that this war WAS justified. I supported the war against Afghanistan. When Bush said that there were WMDs and links to Al Qaida in Iraq, I trusted him. Now, I'm so scared that he'll be reelected. Here's is a link in which congress concludes that he misled America on many counts: http://www.fas.org/irp/congress/2004_cr/h031604.html.

Post what you think, especially if you saw the movie too. I'm home alone until tomorrow night :( And I'm so mad at psycho dog, but being mad about Iraq lessened it...even when he jumped onto the kitchen table and broke a glass and then grabbed my favorite high heeled shoe and ran around the house biting it! grr.

whew! This week was so much work! I woke up this morning at 5am to write a "personal choice question" for Education and Human Development. The funny thing is that it's really easy so far. So good news all you graduates- Wash U does prepare you for graduate school! I'm kind of sick of my schedule though...it reminds me of high school because I have the same classes every day with all the same people and we actually do the questions in our textbook at the end of each chapter! My pdq assignment was to choose one of the Minnesota Standards for Teaching and write a question about it. Well, as proof of my awesome undergrad education, I couldn't figure out what that meant for the longest time. I thought maybe it was a test of how creative we could be in analyzing the nuances of the concept. The standards are like "Teachers must listen and give feedback to students," etc. So I actually emailed the TA and she just told me to write a question! Finally, I chose standard 6.M: "the teacher must understand the culture and community of the students." My question was: "Why must the teacher understand the culture and community of the students." See how much like high school this is? When I turned in my last assignment with a footnote, the TA wrote "Excellent!!!" next to it. So this time I used 6. I'm sure it's going to get a lot harder soon though. Anyway, I'm in such a good mood because it's Thursday and I don't have class for three days! Tonight I'm going to go for a long walk with the dogs, then organize my aunt's refrigerator (which I'm really excited about because I can't stand how messy it is), and I'm going to sleep in tomorrow morning, do homework all day, then go see Farenheit 9/11 at the Mall of America! BTW, will someone please listen to Keane and tell me how it's so amazing! I need someone else in the world to have heard about them so I don't seem super-crazy.

You know that feeling of complete frustration and lack of control? I'm feeling it so much this weekend. It's making me so depressed that all of my family is on our reunion without me, and that feeling is compounded by the fact that I'm living alone in a city where I don't know anyone. Additionally, I'm dog-sitter for the most obnoxious and out of control black lab in the world! Grr. His name is Jack and he has to be crated all the time when he's in the house or he sprints around, eating or breaking things and knocking me down (he literally knocked me on my back and jumped on top of me yesterday). He also eats all of the other dog's food, which means he's eaten 2 kidney pills already today and I don't know what to do about that. I hate being away from my family when they're in such perfect memory-making mode; the last time we had a family reunion it started so many catch-phrases and was such a blast, and this time I'm the only one not there. OMG, I know I'm such a whiner, but I feel so desperately deserted with psycho-dog. So, I'm going to go work at Caribou coffee. Does anyone have advice about missing out? Oh, and I called my dad to wish him happy father's day and my mom had given him a present without telling me, so I had no idea when he thanked me for it. So he said, "Well, it's the thought that counts" sarcastically, which makes me feel like such a horrible daughter.