Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Apologetically
Alright, here are some things I currently love apologetically but feel like sharing; there must be some other people with similar tastes :)

1. "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. I love this song so much right now. I crank up my radio every morning- because it's on at least once every day during my morning drive- and reflect on bad days. It's such a universal theme, and besides, I love melodic piano music. If you think about how sappy it is on American Idol, then yes, it's so annoying. But on its own, I love it.

2. Top Chef. That was such a good show! "I'm not your bitch, bitch!" I love it.

3. The Soup on E! I used to watch this show during the summer when Greg Kinnear was the host and I liked it then, but it's so much funnier now. I am in love with the little dog who howls with the host while he sings...

4. Trader Joe's Pad Thai in a bowl. I want to hate Trader Joe's because my parents are obsessed with it, but while the decor inside almost gave me a migraine (yuck, I can't stand cutesy homemade signs in retail), the frozen food selection is so nice.

5. Proactiv & Magic Bullet. I've become a person who orders infomercial products. Proactive really works (obviously, or why would Diddy endorse it, right?) but the Magic Bullet started smoking the first time I used it. But maybe I'll have a iced drink party this summer so I'll have a chance to use it again!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Signs of Summer
*I've started eating watermelon ALL the time!
*Tomorrow is Track and Field day at school.
*My tank-top drawer has been opened.
*I can't wait for the last day of the school year!
Summer vacation is going to be perfection, especially when I get my paycheck every month:)

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

A view into the cynicism within public school walls
This week I've been experiencing a crash course in school politics and the negative effects of No Child Left Behind firsthand. For those who want to know what NCLB does, it's this:

1. It makes teachers judge their performance based on test scores as compared to National Standards, not realistic student progress.


2. Students are therefore labeled as "loaded." I heard this term at least 10 times today when people were complaining about my ESL classroom placements for the next school year. Apparently, a student who is a lower reader, and probably doesn't have English-speaking parents, is a time-vacuum for lesson-planning...and so why would a teacher volunteer to teach students in that group?


3. Our whole school is bittered by a sense of failure because our test scores are lower than the government requires.


4. This all causes me to realize that I'll need to decide if I can withstand the atmosphere of pressure and blind, test-based judgment of students, as well as if I can endure the cynicism I will face everyday from my colleagues. I think that I will only last in this job if I can remain naïve to the testing realities of NCLB. Can I work in a position where I am required to give each non-native English speaking student over 16 combined total hours of tests each year and then listen as they are negatively judged (and eventually treated?) based on the results? None of the teachers with whom I spoke today could understand my position, because so
much of their job is tied up in pleasing the district, state, and national standards.

So, my current passions, to counter the mood at school, include:

A. applying for a National Geographic Society grant for an integrated, video-centered take-home curriculum that my ESL students can utilize at any time during the year. They're pulled out of class everyday during Social Studies, and we only have time at our school to do 30 minutes a day anyway.


B. Sending a letter to my representatives about an initiative to provide free English language classes at every public library in Minnesota. If we say immigrants must learn English, and then wonder why people who are working 2 full-time minimum-wage jobs to feed their family don't take classes, we'll never have a solution.


C. Find summer penpals for all my students.


D. Study for the LSATs!













my wall of influential immigrants.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Grr and fit (a family saying for anger)
I have a colleague who's making me so frustrated. I hate when people contact superiors before just talking to me...honestly, I'm easy-going and passive aggressive, and I'd probably end up doing all your work for you if you just came and politely spoke to me first. But, then people make the mistake of double crossing me, patronizing me, or accusing me of putting teacher interests before the students...well, I have my posse of esl teachers to back me when things get ugly! Our new mantra (against the anti-ESL teachers) is "solidarity!" with a fist pump. Apparently, that motion is equally motivating in all three of our cultures.

Anyway, I'm not in this field to make enemies, but I won't back down when you question the importance of teaching English to these children, especially since 50% of Latino students drop out of school. I might need to be sneaky (in a professional way, of course). Another thing I inheirited from my mom is an ability to tell people what they want to hear and then get my way in the end.

My dad messed around with my internet security this weekend and now I can't use my wireless connection. It's amazing how much the world has changed since my parents were my age...I'm actually annoyed that I can't read the New York Times on the internet in bed tonight!

My word wall, just to add some color to this post!

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Finally, sunshine...
I was feeling despondent all week: I had about a week to assess the speaking, reading, and writing ability of 20 second graders, and I was beginning to feel that ESL teachers are less than respected as professional educators. But I'm finally starting to feel better :)

my brother and me at LuteFest 2006

On Friday, I got a postcard in my classroom mailbox from one of my 3rd graders. On the front it said, "Rose are red viltes are blue candy is sweet and so are you!" and the inside read,
"Dear Miss Walters,
in class I feel okay but...in your class it feels fun I hope you win the contest [for a classroom makeover] I know a reason's why you should get a better classroom and I on the other hand hope I win a trip."

Our final assignment for advanced 3rd graders is to write an essay about why we should have a better classroom next year. I told my students that if they work really hard on their essays, I will send them in to the EXPO dry erase marker contest, and they could potentially win a trip. I'm just so proud that she used ellipses and "I on the other hand" in her writing!

I saw the Da Vinci Code last night and here is my quick review:
I think I would have liked the movie if the main characters had been played by Clive Owen and Julianne Moore, like I pictured in my head while I was reading the book. It needed to be more Indiana Jones, less...boring exposition.

My car now makes a wonder high pitched squeak whenever I turn.
I'm so excited to get a new car.

My parents are coming to visit soon! We're going to La Bodega for dinner, with my uncle and his new girlfriend. It may be kind of awkward, but I'm excited to drink Sangria with my dad again...we had so much fun in Barcelona together.

Coming to America is on T.V. right now and I desperately need to vacuum.
¡Que pasa bien fin de semana!

Friday, May 19, 2006


Friday, May 12, 2006

I'm becoming my mother at an alarming rate
In celebration of Mother's Day, these are the ways that I'm like my mom:

1. I hate when my apartment's not clean. It's becoming an OCD...I literally can't leave until everything's straightened up, only because I'm afraid it will devolve into the tornado-strewn mess that it is right now. I'm sitting here feeling really tense.

2. I don't do anything half-way. I like to complete tasks in one sitting; that way it's done and there's no possibility of me forgetting to do it later.

3. I have a weird multi-tasking strategy at work! I do whatever pops into my head, so I'm always juggling 5 tasks at a time (like, go pick out the guided reading books; ooh, and they need flash cards, I'll make those now too; but, right, I should translate one set into Arabic for my Jordanian student; and while I'm doing that I'll search the internet for a better translation site; and while I'm looking for that, I'll buy some more Arabic literature for that student...). Then I cycle through each task, which makes me run around the school much more than I need to and scare people with how "focused" I look. I guess they aren't used to my kind of intensity in at the elementary level.

4. I take care of my brother. Even if it spoils him, oh well. As my mom always used to say, we're more related to each other than we are to anyone else on Earth. So we shouldn't kick each other so much.

Happy Mothers' Day!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Springtime-induced amnesia
It is incredibly beautiful today! This is the perfect weather: 60's, sunny and windy, and all the lilacs (my favorite flower) are in bloom. I went on a long run after work...I've missed the Lake Harriet hills so much! I'm such a cross-country freak; I only like running the hills, because it's more of a challenge, and I'm a little too goal-oriented. Anyway, all of the gorgeous weather almost made me forget how much winter here sucks.

Today was crazy. It started with a study group meeting at 7:45, then an assessment meeting at 8, teaching, another assessment meeting, teaching, assessment meeting, and more teaching. Then I stayed until 5:30 preparing for the rest of the week! I was in the worst mood in the morning- with all the pointless meetings. Also, since the barometer was fluctuating today, it felt like all the kids were a little bit stir crazy. I know someone who's doing research on that theory. They were just so rude to me, which I think is problematic of the students at our school in general. I spend an hour collaborating in a classroom with 5 (5!) students with emotional-behavior disorders. These are the children who scream, burst out in tears, abuse their classmates, and never seem to get any real work done. I have all the empathy in the world for them, but with that many in one class, it's a wonder that the classroom teacher isn't pulling out her hair. But the day got better...I love working after school and just getting to chit chat with the other teachers. Some of them are so funny.

So, if I seem like I'm in a much better mood these days, it's because I'm completely seasonally-affected :)

Saturday, May 06, 2006

My baby picture










My eyes and nose are exactly the same...as are my cheeks!

Random Survey

whats your name spelt backwards? sretlaw elocin
What did you do last night? worked the nail-polishing booth at my school's Spring carnival, watched Matchpoint, which is the only Woody Allen movie except "Annie Hall" that I like
The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? a baby picture of myself, for our staff lounge "who's the baby?" guessing game
Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? no, I'm pretty rational
Last time you swam in a pool? in Tucson, over Spring break
What are you wearing? dark blue jeans, white camisol, blue, lacy, army jacket
How many cars have you owned? one, but I'm getting a beautiful white passat in two weeks!
Type of music you dislike most? trance...it makes me cringe and gives me a migraine. I can't last more than 10 minutes in Abercrombie.
Are you registered to vote? yes, in Minnesota
Do you have cable? yeah, and I get 60 channels even though I only pay for basic.
What kind of computer do you use? Apple iBook and and Apple iMac. My laptop is named Dmitri:)
Ever made a prank phone call? no
You like anyone right now? only people who are unavailable, it seems
Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? neither. I think it's selfish to risk your life that way for a personal thrill.
Furthest place you ever traveled? Bern, Switzerland.
What's your favorite comic strip? Calvin and Hobbes
Do u know all the words to the national anthem? Well, most. But I can't sing it.
Shower, morning or night? Whenever, hair-permitting.
Best movie you've seen in the past month? Matchpoint
Favorite pizza toppings? Feta and artichoke
Chips or popcorn? Chips. Doritos, salt-and-vinegar, tortilla, whatever.
What cell phone provider do you have? Virgin. Why did Richard Branson choose that name besides to make me feel embarrassed in front of people like my grandparents when they ask about my cell phone?
Have you ever smoked peanut shells? No, I've never smoked anything. I love my lungs!
Have you ever been in a beauty pageant? no
Orange Juice or apple? Never apple juice, because it reminds me of feeling car sick on road trips.
Who were the last people you sat at lunch with? Some teachers at my school.
Favorite chocolate bar?
Anything Lindt. I also like kitkat, but I eat them in a bizarre, peeling way:)
Who is your longest friend and how long? Emily, from elementary to high school.
Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? I have no idea.
Have you ever won a trophy? No, but I won a hummingbird feeding for being AP Biology student of the year in 9th grade. My parents still mention it as a crowning achievement of my academic career...isn't that nice and yet also kind of disappointing?
Favorite arcade game? ski ball.
Ever ordered from an infomercial? No, but my brother got me a Magic Bullet for my birthday. I've used it once so far- to make hommous- and it started to smoke.
Sprite or 7-UP? Sprite with grenadine
Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? no
Last thing you bought at Walgreens? hair dye. I have a lot of gray hair :(
Ever thrown up in public? no
Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? true love.
Do you believe in love at first sight? I haven't found it yet, although I thought I had.
SPONGEBOB OR JIMMY NEUTRON? I don't know! I've never watched either.
Did you have long hair as a young kid? no, I had a horrible Mary Lou Retton bowl cut.
What message is on your voicemail machine? It's a pre-recorded deep man's voice, ever since last year, when I got harassing messages that mentioned my name.
Where would you like to go right now? Um, Paris? Barcelona?
Whats the name of your pet? Oliver (in a British accent)
What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it? I don't have one, I just have a gigantic bag-purse
What do you think about most? my friends and family

Friday, May 05, 2006


Did you know?

I'm incompentent when it comes to finding a place I've never been before. I was 90 minutes late to my conference today! There is a part of my brain that refuses to accept that I should look up directions before I get in my car...it's traveling Russian roulette; I almost had a meltdown while running around St. Paul in the freezing cold this morning.

I'm very bad at staying in touch with old friends. I think that my transient childhood made me able to drop friendships and move on without feeling bad...which makes me feel bad. And I hate it because it's sad and I want to maintain a big Christmas card list.

My cat likes to sit like a human.

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Woman on the verge of a nervous testing breakdown!
1. Never vote for No Child Left Behind. It means 16 hours of testing for the students who speak, read, and write English the poorest and who would benefit the most from actually getting to learn.
2. Giving tests sucks, too! I got to sit around for two tests a day (3 hours each) for 9 days. And it answer a million questions and fill in tons of ID numbers in little bubbles.

I'm really going to need to go out for drinks after ESL conference on Friday, but instead, I'm doing the nail polishing station at my school's spring carnival. I hope to get invited to one of my student's authentic Cinco de Mayo fiestas that night!!

And on Saturday, I get to revisit the college tradition that is...Rooney! I like them in such ironic way, but I'm still a groupie at heart:)




Thursday, April 27, 2006

It breaks my heart
I try not to pick favorites amongst my students. It leads to teacher's pets and unconsciously unfair treatment over others. But I do have one. And I learned something about him today that made me stop and mist up right in the Special Ed. office.

He's a 7-year-old who loves King Kong and dinosaurs. He speaks with an adorable Spanish accent. He's been my student since September and I've continually wondered why he's not making better progress in English, reading, and writing. In ESL, he still translates his ideas directly from Spanish and they come out with a decidedly non-English morphology. But it's cute, and I can understand it, so I assumed it was just a fluke. After all, his reading speed had been improving, slowly but surely.

He's always working hard and listening to the teacher. He comes into school every day with new dinosaur information, or with new stories about King Kong to tell (or dvd information- "Miss Walters. If you buy Papa John's pizza, they give you free $2 for Kong!"

However, his reading comprehension was so low that I sponsored his Special Ed. They've been assessing him for a while. I gave him his Spring evaluation, and I realized that his oral fluency has gone down 3 points since last year. I finally got some news today: he doesn't qualify for Special Ed. because his ability is alligned with his intelligence. The cause of his problems is simply a very low IQ.

I misted up when I heard that: with a label- ADHD, LD, RD- you have something to work with, something to "overcome" or provide strategies for. This has no easy solution. I know it's not like the poisoned lives of children in the Sudan or Thailand, or many other places in the world, but is an example of the idea that anytime a child is not allowed to live up to their potential- even if it's the stupid dreams of his teacher- it's a sad day for everyone. I know this little boy will do amazing things someday, though, because he's so kind to everyone. I hope he can be an archeaologist, which he agreed was a perfect profession for him once I explained it. And he has a loving family, that's really all that matters.

In American, students like him are lucky. They are not delegated to manual labor at a young age, not teased and tormented by educators, not forced into a lower caste. He will always struggle in school, though, and there's nothing I can do to help him.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Back to Work

I'm actually quite happy to be back at work...I'm amazed at how much I missed the students! They're so cute. But I hate testing. It's so boring. I had to give the State math test for the past two days, but since my students are all non-native English-speaking students, I had to read every question at least two times. It's stressful and dehydrating!

My colleagues are having a hard time accepting the fact that I'm alright. Every day, a few more people come up to me and say "I can't believe you're already here! Are you okay?" It's so nice that they're thinking of me, but a) I've been running around school for the past three days- I'm fine, and b) why did it take surgery for you to talk to me? I finally got up the courage to take off my band-aids today, which hurt because they're so strongly adhesed. It's so surreal to think that about a week ago they cut me open and put a little telescope inside me (and took something out of me).

My mom and brother are coming to visit again on Friday. I get to see Mike on Friday night, and then I'm going out to dinner at my absolute favorite restaurant, Chino Latino, on Saturday night.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

I understand illness by proxy much better now, I think, that I felt the side effects of being sick. All of a sudden, all of the attention was on me, everyone worried about me, and listened to me (and brought me flowers). I would never fake an illness (obviously!), but it's a little frightening to return to my normal life on Monday. I didn't realize what I was missing... my brother visited me in the hospital, my mom flew out to visit and folded every piece of clothing that I own, and my grandparents doted on me like they did when I was the youngest grandchild. Once I get back into normal life- which suddenly seems overwhelmingly tedious and lonely- I'm sure I'll feel much better. It just felt so nice to be taken care of, if only for a few days.

I'm excited about my potential summer plans: I found a work program in Ecuador that is a month of working with street children in a day-care-like house. I would love that! I hope I can afford it after my summer courses.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Saturday night?
I'm so lazy, but I'm going to blame that on my recent surgery. I'm going to be using that as an excuse for everything for a while...it already got me macaroni and cheese off the kids' menu at Green Mill, AND it got my month-long late fee erased at Hollywood Video:).

Anyway, call me, email, or contact me some way if you want to go out to dinner on Saturday night at La Bodega in Minneapolis. It's a beautiful Tapas Bar (I said "tapas," get your head out of the gutter) and the gazpacho is amazing.
I won't be able to party or drink yet, but I'll share my flan with you:)

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Me, sans appendix
The past few days have felt surreal. Sunday was Easter; beautiful, sunny, full of food and family time. I ran around all day, buying a piñata, helping with cooking, and stuffing myself with candy and my aunt's delicious potatoes with creme frache. Then Sunday night I woke up at 1am with a horrible stomach ache which was so much worse than what I had been feeling sporadically throughout the week. I was awake for 4 hours, just laying on my bed, trying not to move. It hurt so much, and it was superficially sensitive too so even the sheets resting on me were too painful. So I finally decided that I would take myself to urgent care: five days of nausea without actually having the flu is definitely a sign of something.

At Urgent Care, they decided I should get a CAT scan, so we drove to Methodist Hospital and I got to drink the illuminating fluid and wait. By 1pm, 4 hours after I first got there, they called to say that I had appendicitis and I would have surgery that evening! I started laughing:) I knew something was wrong with me when I almost passed out during a verb lesson on Tuesday.

I was admitted at 3 and went to surgery at 3:45. It all seemed really funny: my stomach didn't hurt at all then (I asked to walk to surgery, but I guess that's not permitted) and I didn't completely believe it was actually happening. The last thing I remember (besides the fact that none of the surgical interns are as good-looking as anyone on Grey's Anatomy) is asking my anaesthesiologist to "please knock me out" because I was scared to see the equiptment when I finally got into the OR.

I didn't get any sleep last night at the hospital- they honestly wake you up every 30 minutes! My stomach hurt a little, but they gave me morphine and percocet, which was quite relaxing. I left this morning and spent the day with my relatives, and my mom, who flew in for two days.

I am unbelieveably lucky to a) have caught this so soon, and b) be so young when having this procedure. The day after surgery, I went shopping, went out to dinner, and bought new books at the bookstore. And I'm not supposed to go back to work until Monday. I feel a little bit guilty:(

So that was my past two days...I'm sorry if I haven't been around! That's what I've been up to.

ps- if you want to see what my appendix looked like during the procedure, I have pictures. They're not for the faint of heart!

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Grr...
*bitter retail employees, who judge me on the movies I buy at Suncoast and scoff at me when I accidentally whip out my Borders card at Barnes and Noble.
*tail-gaters.
*colleagues who literally run out the door right when school's over, conveniently on every day during the week when we're supposed to label over 100 tests and make a list of every name-to-serial-number correspondence. I consequently spent 6 more hours at work this week, doing something we were all supposed to do. And now it's done.
*being alone at church during Holy Week. I don't know people well enough yet at my new church to sit "with" them...it's so lonely because I've always been a member of such amazing church communities!

I start noticing things like that when I'm tired and I am because I woke up at 5am to run- which was gorgeous, and I love it! I'm going to sleep in so late tomorrow, then go to church, then clean my apartment all day. I bought a new Easter dress, after 3 hours at the mall trying to find something affordable. It's silver silk, with one shoulder and pleats... kind of disco meets Easter :)

Monday, April 10, 2006

Monday :(

I just washed out a container of borscht that had been in my refrigerator for a long time and there was the most disgusting mold growing in it! It look like an octopus tentacle. I almost thought it would grow eyes and slither out of the drain to get me. And now that I wrote that, I'll probably have great dreams tonight ;)

This week is going to be hectic, in the best way. When I was growing up, Holy Week was always a time of breathless anticipation...and not just for chocolate. I was a crucifer and pretty much the only person my age who was available to acolyte, so I ended up serving at almost every service. Once, I was the incense bearer (with the swinging ball-on-chain) at the Easter Vigil, but right before the service we couldn't find the coal. So we built a teeny little fire out of matches. Well, it worked for a while- it was flaming a bit, which might have scared the congregation- but the worst part came when I got to the altar. Right when we stopped, the campfire imploded, and I was surrounded in a pouf of smoke!

I'm going to every service this week. It makes me feel at peace and in touch with the history of our religion. After visiting the cathedrals in England, I can picture Episcopalians celebrating the Easter season with the same practice and prayers that we do today. That tradition, heritage, and most importantly, stability of faith makes me feel safe and part of a historical community. It's so comforting.

Saturday, April 08, 2006

Capture the Flag

My first crush was in 4th grade. His name was Scott. He was tall, had glasses, and looked smart, in a Rivers Cuomo kind of way (although I didn't know that then). He was so smart that he had his own groups for reading, math, and spelling, and I was really jealous.

The first time I actually had a long conversation with him was one day during gym. Our class was playing capture the flag in the woods behind our school. It was the most thrilling gym activity because we had almost a mile of dense forest to hide in while planning our tactics. Usually, all of my friends would hide out in the far corner of the forest and just chit chat for an hour, until the whistle blew, but on this day we decided we were going to actually strategize. I was chosen to infiltrate the other team's flag area, tag Scott out (he was the best player), and steal their flag. And it worked! Scott and I talked about the game while we were walking back to school (he was a good loser for a 9 year old boy), and I told him that I would study my spelling words a lot so we could be the only two in his spelling group.

Life was so much simpler then. Tagging a guy out in gym and then praising his spelling skills was all it took.

Anyway, I was running by a park this morning and I felt a longing to play capture the flag (obviously, I'm not mature enough to be a teacher!) But I may have a ctf party this Spring, because it's so much fun and brings backs so many good memories!