Weekend Update
Friday- I babysat for my twin cousins, who are 3. I pulled them a mile in their wagon to the lake, where we had a picnic. And someone told me that my kids were cute, which was scary because they could be my kids, and if they were, I would have them out of the house by the time I'm 39!
Saturday- I woke up early, for a breakfast date, which I thought would be really fun. I got stood up, because apparently there are 5 restaurants with the same name in Uptown, which isn't a very good excuse because there aren't. But I got to spend quality time with Spike and Mo, two cute kitties, and then I spent the rest of the day writing out my curriculum plan calendars for the school year. I love being productive without time constraints! And I looooove post-its. Last September, I started working the 1st day of teacher workshop, so I'm going to be much more prepared this year. In the evening I went for a run, but it was still way too hot. It's gross to run in this weather! My hair was wet when I got home and my ipod buds wouldn't stay in my ears. And there were huge swarms of those little white bugs everywhere, so my run was quite zig-zaggy and probably hilarious to watch.
Sunday- I'm going to go to church in the morning, then continue lesson planning.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
the tribulations of my day...
my grandpa took me to edward jones this morning to manage my investing. i learned that there is absolutely no way i can invest now, since my loans are so overwhelming. well, yes, i knew that, and it's not much fun to have someone give you a pity look. so i almost broke down in my broker's office and then lost it while driving my grandpa home. but i finally realized that i am so much luckier than many people...for example, i had surgery in march, which cost $15,000, and my health insurance covered it all! plus, although it was probably a mistake not to, i didn't have to work this summer and i still got paid. and someday i'll be out of debt. my only monetary goal, which was so difficult to discern when i was asked this morning, is to be able to send my children to any college they want to attend and to take care of them when they make mistakes with money, like my parents did for me. while i still thinks it's essential to find a career that you love regardless of the paycheck, i've learned my lesson that you need to be aware of money, where it's going, and how to be smart about it. i really should have gotten a scholarship for graduate school! i lived on loans for 17 months, while also paying out-of-state tuition. silly me.
anyway, i'm so excited to get ready to start work again! i've got all of my organization ideas in place and i just need to get my class lists and hit up office max. i'm giddy as a school girl about school supplies! i'm going to buy a ton of clear plastic three-ring insert pockets. i also bought a 4-ft. diameter blow-up globe (apparently from a brad paisely video) on ebay. it's going to hand from the ceiling in my classroom!! i also have my class blog set up, my class website updated, and a webquest about angkor wat for my students. i want to be super prepared so that i can have a social life this school year!
i'm so tired from running around the lakes, so i'm not going to use caps. deal with it:)
my grandpa took me to edward jones this morning to manage my investing. i learned that there is absolutely no way i can invest now, since my loans are so overwhelming. well, yes, i knew that, and it's not much fun to have someone give you a pity look. so i almost broke down in my broker's office and then lost it while driving my grandpa home. but i finally realized that i am so much luckier than many people...for example, i had surgery in march, which cost $15,000, and my health insurance covered it all! plus, although it was probably a mistake not to, i didn't have to work this summer and i still got paid. and someday i'll be out of debt. my only monetary goal, which was so difficult to discern when i was asked this morning, is to be able to send my children to any college they want to attend and to take care of them when they make mistakes with money, like my parents did for me. while i still thinks it's essential to find a career that you love regardless of the paycheck, i've learned my lesson that you need to be aware of money, where it's going, and how to be smart about it. i really should have gotten a scholarship for graduate school! i lived on loans for 17 months, while also paying out-of-state tuition. silly me.
anyway, i'm so excited to get ready to start work again! i've got all of my organization ideas in place and i just need to get my class lists and hit up office max. i'm giddy as a school girl about school supplies! i'm going to buy a ton of clear plastic three-ring insert pockets. i also bought a 4-ft. diameter blow-up globe (apparently from a brad paisely video) on ebay. it's going to hand from the ceiling in my classroom!! i also have my class blog set up, my class website updated, and a webquest about angkor wat for my students. i want to be super prepared so that i can have a social life this school year!
i'm so tired from running around the lakes, so i'm not going to use caps. deal with it:)
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
The Middle East
Every day, as I watch the continued destruction in Beirut, I keep wondering about the how hate like that can be sustained. I don't know as much as I should about the history of the conflict and the reasons that there is so much anger towards Israel, but I can't relate to ongoing hatred, passed on from parents to children without end.
Last night, I watched a show about art history on PBS. There was a study about death and what motivates people to harm those with different beliefs. It proved that when people are forced to think about their own mortality on a daily basis, they are almost always more vindictive and aggresively harmful to people who think differently. And I think that's why I can't understand the war in the Middle East. I rarely need to think about death; mostly I avoid thinking about it at all. When every choice you make is life or death, your enemies must seem much clearer. So maybe forcing representations of the humanity in the apparent enemy is the only solution. There's a program in Israel, like the Boys' and Girls' Club, where Muslim, Christian, and Jewish teens perform community service together. It doesn't seem like education alone can promote peace- there needs to be friendship, and the fear of death needs to end. Which I think would work better than my mom's idea, which is to put all of Israel and Palestine on cruise ships for a month long vacation, while the debris is removed, the bullet holes covered over, the signs of hate removed, and everyone can return to the holy land with great tans and no lines of division:)
Every day, as I watch the continued destruction in Beirut, I keep wondering about the how hate like that can be sustained. I don't know as much as I should about the history of the conflict and the reasons that there is so much anger towards Israel, but I can't relate to ongoing hatred, passed on from parents to children without end.
Last night, I watched a show about art history on PBS. There was a study about death and what motivates people to harm those with different beliefs. It proved that when people are forced to think about their own mortality on a daily basis, they are almost always more vindictive and aggresively harmful to people who think differently. And I think that's why I can't understand the war in the Middle East. I rarely need to think about death; mostly I avoid thinking about it at all. When every choice you make is life or death, your enemies must seem much clearer. So maybe forcing representations of the humanity in the apparent enemy is the only solution. There's a program in Israel, like the Boys' and Girls' Club, where Muslim, Christian, and Jewish teens perform community service together. It doesn't seem like education alone can promote peace- there needs to be friendship, and the fear of death needs to end. Which I think would work better than my mom's idea, which is to put all of Israel and Palestine on cruise ships for a month long vacation, while the debris is removed, the bullet holes covered over, the signs of hate removed, and everyone can return to the holy land with great tans and no lines of division:)
Monday, July 24, 2006
Camp du Nord
I got back from family camp on Saturday and I'm already in camp withdrawl. I miss all the singing! It was just like regular camp, except I didn't have my own counselor because I'm an adult in their eyes. I was so jealous of the kids' activities...they got to play predator/prey and have pirate day. I did the adult activities, like basket weaving and canoe trips. My basket is cute, but kind of trapezoidal, and I realized that I hate canoeing with family. My brother cannot steer to save his life and my parents, who never fight, get vicious when there's any competition. I have a horrible- and somewhat gratifying- canoeing-cut on my thumb. And a huge bruise on my arm from sailing.
There was a group of Korean students visiting for the week, so I drove down to the nearest town (Ely) to look up Korean phrases. John and I mastered hello (ahn-nyung-ha-say-yo) and good-bye (ahn-nyung-hee-ga-say). My favorite part of the whole week was the night hike to Ol' Baldy (which sounds way too camp-like, but truly named). We left at 9:30 with a big group, but didn't start coming back until 10:30. It was a steep and narrow trail, but so much fun, since you had to rely on your other senses to keep from falling down! It made me laugh hysterically! It was like "there're roots, rocks, more roots, ooh big rock!" My adorable cousin Pete was like a little white ghost in front of me in his white sweatshirt.
I got back from family camp on Saturday and I'm already in camp withdrawl. I miss all the singing! It was just like regular camp, except I didn't have my own counselor because I'm an adult in their eyes. I was so jealous of the kids' activities...they got to play predator/prey and have pirate day. I did the adult activities, like basket weaving and canoe trips. My basket is cute, but kind of trapezoidal, and I realized that I hate canoeing with family. My brother cannot steer to save his life and my parents, who never fight, get vicious when there's any competition. I have a horrible- and somewhat gratifying- canoeing-cut on my thumb. And a huge bruise on my arm from sailing.
There was a group of Korean students visiting for the week, so I drove down to the nearest town (Ely) to look up Korean phrases. John and I mastered hello (ahn-nyung-ha-say-yo) and good-bye (ahn-nyung-hee-ga-say). My favorite part of the whole week was the night hike to Ol' Baldy (which sounds way too camp-like, but truly named). We left at 9:30 with a big group, but didn't start coming back until 10:30. It was a steep and narrow trail, but so much fun, since you had to rely on your other senses to keep from falling down! It made me laugh hysterically! It was like "there're roots, rocks, more roots, ooh big rock!" My adorable cousin Pete was like a little white ghost in front of me in his white sweatshirt.
Thursday, July 13, 2006
*I spoke much too soon*
I went out on a bad bad date tonight. It involved the following dialogue:
Him: "Do you like Burrito Loco?"
Me: "Oh, absolutely not! I feel like it's the Pepsi to Chipotle's Coke."
Him: "Do you like Coke?"
Me: "Um, yes?"
Him: "Uh, yeah...me, too. Well, no... (loooong pause) I like diet Coke."
Me: "Alright." (painfully long silence).
Him: "So I guess you like Chipotle."
I worked very hard to be nice throughout, but there were horrible long silences, when I desperately hoped someone I knew would walk in and save me...I should have gone with the "emergency" phone call! The whole time, I wished someone else was there, so I'm pretty excited to see him again:)
I went out on a bad bad date tonight. It involved the following dialogue:
Him: "Do you like Burrito Loco?"
Me: "Oh, absolutely not! I feel like it's the Pepsi to Chipotle's Coke."
Him: "Do you like Coke?"
Me: "Um, yes?"
Him: "Uh, yeah...me, too. Well, no... (loooong pause) I like diet Coke."
Me: "Alright." (painfully long silence).
Him: "So I guess you like Chipotle."
I worked very hard to be nice throughout, but there were horrible long silences, when I desperately hoped someone I knew would walk in and save me...I should have gone with the "emergency" phone call! The whole time, I wished someone else was there, so I'm pretty excited to see him again:)
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
My Summer Vacation
Now that I'm on vacation, I've been keeping busy with three things:
1. Running
I've been going crazy with my running. I love it! It feels like cross country all over again. I run around one of the lakes near my house...it's about a 4-5 mile run and I have a route that doesn't stay on the lake running path very much. Since I have a short attention span and I am so goal-oriented, I need hills so I have something to push myself to complete. I just started late June and already I've lost weight and my legs feel like springs. I just need to cool it a bit; this morning, I had to walk almost all the way because of shin splints. A 70+ man shuffled past me and then two elderly women skated by on rollerblades, just to embarrass me more. So my plan is to ice and heat, whatever, and take advil before I run. I need my endorphins:) Here's my sprinting hills mix (cheesy, but it works):
Fell in Love with a Girl- The White Stripes
Lose My Breath- Destiny's Child
Ride- The Vines
I Will Follow-U2
C'mon C'mon- The Von Bondies
Knock on Wood- Amy Stewart
Run Away- The Real McCoy;)
2. My Final Project for Graduate School
Grr! I need to finish this! It's an incredibly detailed mini-unit, based on content-embedded language instruction. To give you an idea of how structured the assignment is, there are 19 grading points on the rubric. So there are 19 facets of instruction that I need to consider and find research to support in my planning. Grr. I mean, I think that I should have plans this thoughtful for all the teaching that I do. But when you're dealing with 8-year-olds, instruction has to be fluid, spontaneous, and essentially dictated by behavior. If I have one cah-razy student in a class, even if a 30-minute lesson is highly structured to meet all National Standards for No Child Left Behind, no learning is going to happen unless I can find a way to entice that student. 10 pages of justification for 2 1/2 hours of instruction are not going to make a difference in that case. And I hate hate hate APA citation style. Why don't they teach that in high school? I swear, I learned one way all my life, and then it's like, oops! it's so juvenile, figure out the APA style on your own, usually by pouring over an internet site or devouring an instruction manual. I still hate it. I'm definitely going to whip out everything today, though. I don't want to worry at the last minute about this, my last school project, probably ever.
3. Eating Differently
When I started my hell week of classes in June, I suddenly realized that the reasons that I usually use for eating the food that I did are so misguided. I used to eat a ton of reduced-fat pringles as a reward for hardwork, as a way to unwind, but it's really like 30 grams of fat. And when I had a bad day, I would eat comfort food to make myself feel better. So I was relying on food to manipulate my emotions, which obviously isn't the purpose of food. When I started thinking about food as nurishment for my body and as a means of my goal to become more healthy, it completely changed what I ate on a daily basis. Now, I only keep food in my house that's healthy, so if I'm really hungry, I can always eat a lot without feeling guilty. Because I hate the post-eating emotions, too. My new favorite foods are watermelon, roast chicken breast with Franks hot sauce, cottage cheese with melba toast, Spinach salad with cottage cheese, a little cheddar, and a few croutons, and fat-free cool whip for dessert. I also only eat substantive carbs for breakfast. It makes me feel so much more in control of being healthy. The running and changing menu made me realize that gimmic diets and programs are so unstable...it really has to be a change that you create on your own, work at, and eventually develop as habit, hopefully. Let's see if it lasts with all the beer and chips that my grandma will lay out everywhere on our family vacation...it will be like booby traps everywhere.
3 1/2. ooops. Another thing I'm doing is going on a lot of dates. It's like Next (on MTV), but the guys are actually smarter, less cheesy, and I get to "next!" Eventually, I want to narrow it down, but it's fun for now.
Now that I'm on vacation, I've been keeping busy with three things:
1. Running
I've been going crazy with my running. I love it! It feels like cross country all over again. I run around one of the lakes near my house...it's about a 4-5 mile run and I have a route that doesn't stay on the lake running path very much. Since I have a short attention span and I am so goal-oriented, I need hills so I have something to push myself to complete. I just started late June and already I've lost weight and my legs feel like springs. I just need to cool it a bit; this morning, I had to walk almost all the way because of shin splints. A 70+ man shuffled past me and then two elderly women skated by on rollerblades, just to embarrass me more. So my plan is to ice and heat, whatever, and take advil before I run. I need my endorphins:) Here's my sprinting hills mix (cheesy, but it works):
Fell in Love with a Girl- The White Stripes
Lose My Breath- Destiny's Child
Ride- The Vines
I Will Follow-U2
C'mon C'mon- The Von Bondies
Knock on Wood- Amy Stewart
Run Away- The Real McCoy;)
2. My Final Project for Graduate School
Grr! I need to finish this! It's an incredibly detailed mini-unit, based on content-embedded language instruction. To give you an idea of how structured the assignment is, there are 19 grading points on the rubric. So there are 19 facets of instruction that I need to consider and find research to support in my planning. Grr. I mean, I think that I should have plans this thoughtful for all the teaching that I do. But when you're dealing with 8-year-olds, instruction has to be fluid, spontaneous, and essentially dictated by behavior. If I have one cah-razy student in a class, even if a 30-minute lesson is highly structured to meet all National Standards for No Child Left Behind, no learning is going to happen unless I can find a way to entice that student. 10 pages of justification for 2 1/2 hours of instruction are not going to make a difference in that case. And I hate hate hate APA citation style. Why don't they teach that in high school? I swear, I learned one way all my life, and then it's like, oops! it's so juvenile, figure out the APA style on your own, usually by pouring over an internet site or devouring an instruction manual. I still hate it. I'm definitely going to whip out everything today, though. I don't want to worry at the last minute about this, my last school project, probably ever.
3. Eating Differently
When I started my hell week of classes in June, I suddenly realized that the reasons that I usually use for eating the food that I did are so misguided. I used to eat a ton of reduced-fat pringles as a reward for hardwork, as a way to unwind, but it's really like 30 grams of fat. And when I had a bad day, I would eat comfort food to make myself feel better. So I was relying on food to manipulate my emotions, which obviously isn't the purpose of food. When I started thinking about food as nurishment for my body and as a means of my goal to become more healthy, it completely changed what I ate on a daily basis. Now, I only keep food in my house that's healthy, so if I'm really hungry, I can always eat a lot without feeling guilty. Because I hate the post-eating emotions, too. My new favorite foods are watermelon, roast chicken breast with Franks hot sauce, cottage cheese with melba toast, Spinach salad with cottage cheese, a little cheddar, and a few croutons, and fat-free cool whip for dessert. I also only eat substantive carbs for breakfast. It makes me feel so much more in control of being healthy. The running and changing menu made me realize that gimmic diets and programs are so unstable...it really has to be a change that you create on your own, work at, and eventually develop as habit, hopefully. Let's see if it lasts with all the beer and chips that my grandma will lay out everywhere on our family vacation...it will be like booby traps everywhere.
3 1/2. ooops. Another thing I'm doing is going on a lot of dates. It's like Next (on MTV), but the guys are actually smarter, less cheesy, and I get to "next!" Eventually, I want to narrow it down, but it's fun for now.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Quick thoughts...
*I love cottage cheese. It's so delicious! I think I was a yodeling, German girl in leiderhosen in a former life, because while I eat it, I think about being Heidi in the mountains.
*It's schmaltzy, but my friends are the best. It's so amazing how you can stumble on such a sweet group of people just by coincidence.
*Summer vacation rocks. I have two dates this week :) and I can run around the lake every day, if I want to!
*I love cottage cheese. It's so delicious! I think I was a yodeling, German girl in leiderhosen in a former life, because while I eat it, I think about being Heidi in the mountains.
*It's schmaltzy, but my friends are the best. It's so amazing how you can stumble on such a sweet group of people just by coincidence.
*Summer vacation rocks. I have two dates this week :) and I can run around the lake every day, if I want to!
Monday, July 03, 2006
My favorite things about the USA:
1. We can make a cake with our flag on it.
2. Our society eventually overcomes prejudices.
3. Upward mobility.
4. Freedom of Speech and the Press:
this is a wonderful example, an article by Frank Rich in the New York Times.
5. I see amazing acts of selflessness and volunteerism everyday.
6. We have social services established to help our citizens who can't take care of themselves.
7. Freedom of Religion.
8. Our diversity is beautiful!
Happy 4th of July
1. We can make a cake with our flag on it.
2. Our society eventually overcomes prejudices.
3. Upward mobility.
4. Freedom of Speech and the Press:
this is a wonderful example, an article by Frank Rich in the New York Times.
5. I see amazing acts of selflessness and volunteerism everyday.
6. We have social services established to help our citizens who can't take care of themselves.
7. Freedom of Religion.
8. Our diversity is beautiful!
Happy 4th of July
Friday, June 30, 2006
School's out forever
Today is my last day of graduate school! I just have a final project due on July 17 and I'll officially be a Master. When I mail formal letters I can put M.Ed. after my name, which is the nice, pretentious touch that my correspondence has been missing. Of course, most people in America seem to think that a Masters in Education is the equivalent of a Masters in fingerpaint art and science and can't imagine why I'd get an advanced degree that would only earn me a pay raise large enough to pay for the two classes I took this summer. Actually, I'm starting to wonder that, too. I guess so I don't feel so uneducated around my parents, the Ph.D. and M.D. They, in turn, wonder why they had to pay for my Wash U education when I don't earn more now than it cost per year, even though the tuition included room and board and I have to pay for it now. And why I had to pick such a "soft science" major in college, anyway.
Ooops, now I'm not as excited. Does anyone want to buy a sad M.Ed. a drink tonight?
Today is my last day of graduate school! I just have a final project due on July 17 and I'll officially be a Master. When I mail formal letters I can put M.Ed. after my name, which is the nice, pretentious touch that my correspondence has been missing. Of course, most people in America seem to think that a Masters in Education is the equivalent of a Masters in fingerpaint art and science and can't imagine why I'd get an advanced degree that would only earn me a pay raise large enough to pay for the two classes I took this summer. Actually, I'm starting to wonder that, too. I guess so I don't feel so uneducated around my parents, the Ph.D. and M.D. They, in turn, wonder why they had to pay for my Wash U education when I don't earn more now than it cost per year, even though the tuition included room and board and I have to pay for it now. And why I had to pick such a "soft science" major in college, anyway.
Ooops, now I'm not as excited. Does anyone want to buy a sad M.Ed. a drink tonight?
Monday, June 26, 2006
Hell Week
I made a big mistake and registered for two classes for this week, from 9am-4pm and 4:45pm-7:45pm. Which means I leave home at 8:30 and get back at 8:30. But I have no motivation for my morning class: it's mostly a huge group of teachers from South Carolina, whose accents are already driving me crazy, and the two teachers love to tell anecdotes that never end. And they make us do really degrading activities like jigsaw, which is basically "prove that you did the reading by explaining it to 5 people you don't know as they stare with glazed eyes into space." My plan is to write my papers for the afternoon class during the morning class, which worked really well this morning! But I have so many important things to do, which I haven't had time to finish yet:
-Get car insurance finally.
-Pay my students loans...oops.
-Do like 5 readings for classes.
-Go to HR and sign my contract, which I was supposed to do before school ended.
-Vacuum my apartment.
-Bake some scones.
If I make it through this week with some sanity, please give me a hug!
I made a big mistake and registered for two classes for this week, from 9am-4pm and 4:45pm-7:45pm. Which means I leave home at 8:30 and get back at 8:30. But I have no motivation for my morning class: it's mostly a huge group of teachers from South Carolina, whose accents are already driving me crazy, and the two teachers love to tell anecdotes that never end. And they make us do really degrading activities like jigsaw, which is basically "prove that you did the reading by explaining it to 5 people you don't know as they stare with glazed eyes into space." My plan is to write my papers for the afternoon class during the morning class, which worked really well this morning! But I have so many important things to do, which I haven't had time to finish yet:
-Get car insurance finally.
-Pay my students loans...oops.
-Do like 5 readings for classes.
-Go to HR and sign my contract, which I was supposed to do before school ended.
-Vacuum my apartment.
-Bake some scones.
If I make it through this week with some sanity, please give me a hug!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Adventures in wildlife rescue
This morning, I started out on my run and just when I was turning the corner, I heard a cheeping sound. A little baby duck run right past me and under a parked car! There were some phone repairmen nearby and they helped me to catch it. Cutest little duck ever! I was impressed at how fast it could run with its little flippered feat...I've tried running in flippers and it's really hard, so I can just imagine;) I had no idea what to do with a tiny little duck, so I carried it into the First Universalist Church and asked them to call animal rescue. Apparently, they don't rescue animals. And then the Humane Society never called back. So the last option was to drive it to the Animal Rehabilitation Center in a box. Getting extremely lost in St. Paul is even more frustrating when you have an animal quacking at you. So I dropped her off- they told me she's a mallard- and I told them that her name is Molly Ringwald, which was what I called her all morning...since she's a girl, she couldn't be Duckie (haha).
This morning, I started out on my run and just when I was turning the corner, I heard a cheeping sound. A little baby duck run right past me and under a parked car! There were some phone repairmen nearby and they helped me to catch it. Cutest little duck ever! I was impressed at how fast it could run with its little flippered feat...I've tried running in flippers and it's really hard, so I can just imagine;) I had no idea what to do with a tiny little duck, so I carried it into the First Universalist Church and asked them to call animal rescue. Apparently, they don't rescue animals. And then the Humane Society never called back. So the last option was to drive it to the Animal Rehabilitation Center in a box. Getting extremely lost in St. Paul is even more frustrating when you have an animal quacking at you. So I dropped her off- they told me she's a mallard- and I told them that her name is Molly Ringwald, which was what I called her all morning...since she's a girl, she couldn't be Duckie (haha).
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
The Sleeping Bug
I think I caught a bug. or maybe I just messed up my sleeping pattern by going to bed at 2am today. Anyway, I slept until 9am, laid in bed eating cottage cheese and watching some episodes of season 2 of Entourage (I love the Pivs!), and taking naps. I stayed in bed until 2pm, when I got up and ate some baked lays. Then I got a bowl of neopolitan fro-yo and went back to bed. I slept until 5pm, then got up and ate a lean cuisine burrito and watched tv. I don't even remember what I was watching because I was so spaced out today! At 8pm, I remembered that I had an assignment for class tomorrow, so I typed that up quickly, and now I'm ready to go to bed again. I never left my apartment once, didn't get dressed until 7pm, and missed a party :( I desperately hope that I'm not so completely lethargic tomorrow. It's like my head is filled with cotton balls.
The only good thing, besides slow churned light Breyer's, is that I found out that someone else likes Matt Pond PA:)
I think I caught a bug. or maybe I just messed up my sleeping pattern by going to bed at 2am today. Anyway, I slept until 9am, laid in bed eating cottage cheese and watching some episodes of season 2 of Entourage (I love the Pivs!), and taking naps. I stayed in bed until 2pm, when I got up and ate some baked lays. Then I got a bowl of neopolitan fro-yo and went back to bed. I slept until 5pm, then got up and ate a lean cuisine burrito and watched tv. I don't even remember what I was watching because I was so spaced out today! At 8pm, I remembered that I had an assignment for class tomorrow, so I typed that up quickly, and now I'm ready to go to bed again. I never left my apartment once, didn't get dressed until 7pm, and missed a party :( I desperately hope that I'm not so completely lethargic tomorrow. It's like my head is filled with cotton balls.
The only good thing, besides slow churned light Breyer's, is that I found out that someone else likes Matt Pond PA:)
Monday, June 19, 2006
4 happy notes and a sad one
Did you know that at the Byerly's in St. Louis Park they have a conveyer belt, like for luggage at the airport, that transports your groceries underground to a convenient place where sweet, eager teens will put it in your car for you?
My cousin Peter, who is 10, used the word commisurate today. The way he used it was correct. It seems miraculous to me to hear kids understand and use words like that!
My parents are finally home. They apparently brought me back something "real nice" from Vienna...I hope it's some schnitzel, because I've always wondered what that was (from the Sound of Music song).
Somehow one side of my family lost hope in one member and are shunning this person. I'm ashamed that it came to this; rumors, revenge, and a generally passive-aggressive attitude that leaves everyone confused and with aching pain.
Did you know that at the Byerly's in St. Louis Park they have a conveyer belt, like for luggage at the airport, that transports your groceries underground to a convenient place where sweet, eager teens will put it in your car for you?
My cousin Peter, who is 10, used the word commisurate today. The way he used it was correct. It seems miraculous to me to hear kids understand and use words like that!
My parents are finally home. They apparently brought me back something "real nice" from Vienna...I hope it's some schnitzel, because I've always wondered what that was (from the Sound of Music song).
Somehow one side of my family lost hope in one member and are shunning this person. I'm ashamed that it came to this; rumors, revenge, and a generally passive-aggressive attitude that leaves everyone confused and with aching pain.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Call me Elsa
I never feel connected with my ethnicity, Polish-Russian, until I'm carrying something heavy on my hip! Today I walked home from the grocery store with way too much food in a heavy bag, all hoisted up on my hip, a canvas bag on my shoulder, my new beaded sandals on my feet, my hair in a bun. Suddenly, I felt the need for a babushka, the headscarf my great grandma always used to wear. In my state of burden, I could just hear the sounds of Polish folk music in my head...I might as well have been muttering to myself. This all makes me think that if my family was still living in southwestern Russia, I would probably be married to a farmer, have six kids, and trudge all the way to the market and back every day with a bag of beets, potatoes, and pickled whathaveyou. I envy people who have a connection to the land and culture.
So, fingers crossed, St. Petersburg '07.
Oh my gosh! I was just looking up pictures of Russian women to show how much I look like them, but I actually think this IS my greatgrandma! ;)
(It does look eerily like her, though, which explains my need for lots of L'Oreal wrinkle decrease cream).
I never feel connected with my ethnicity, Polish-Russian, until I'm carrying something heavy on my hip! Today I walked home from the grocery store with way too much food in a heavy bag, all hoisted up on my hip, a canvas bag on my shoulder, my new beaded sandals on my feet, my hair in a bun. Suddenly, I felt the need for a babushka, the headscarf my great grandma always used to wear. In my state of burden, I could just hear the sounds of Polish folk music in my head...I might as well have been muttering to myself. This all makes me think that if my family was still living in southwestern Russia, I would probably be married to a farmer, have six kids, and trudge all the way to the market and back every day with a bag of beets, potatoes, and pickled whathaveyou. I envy people who have a connection to the land and culture.
So, fingers crossed, St. Petersburg '07.
Oh my gosh! I was just looking up pictures of Russian women to show how much I look like them, but I actually think this IS my greatgrandma! ;)
(It does look eerily like her, though, which explains my need for lots of L'Oreal wrinkle decrease cream).
Life lessons from my grandma i
Since my parents have become European jet-setters (for 3 weeks, anyway), I've started calling my grandma more often, just to get advice. I just like talking to older people about my problems, because I feel like my friends are just like me- kind of unqualified due to inexperience in the world: we mostly confused ourselves even more when we try to figure something out. Anyway, my grandma doesn't sugarcoat anything. The answers to most of my dilemmas are followed by the qualifier, "But that's life, sweetie." Grr...there are still answers, right? She's too existential for me! I want hopeful suggestions.
So her main piece of advice for me, raving about car insurance woes, complaining about my loan bills, and generally confused about my future, is...to have a plan:) Alright, grannie, this is my plan:
1. I'm going to get my Masters Degree this month. I'll pay for the classes I'm taking this month with the small increase in my salary b/c I now have a Masters Degree.
2. I will start writing my novel (the new career plan instead of Law School, which, according to my grandma, would suck the life out of me and we'd no longer be able to associate). I already have the major plot points, so today I'm going to start character research. And this is not going to be another one of those ideas where I can only see the end product. I already have a cute little notebook.
3. I will work harder to emotionally compartmentalize my life. During the school year, I put my social life on the back burner because I didn't feel I could deal with that and be a good teacher (which was my excuse for all of college, too). There must be a way for me to turn off my neurosis and just get back to work after a semi-traumatic relationship situation. I need to harness my chi and make a bigger social circle.
4. I will run everyday.
5. I will eat one healthy meal a day. I'm going to keep it at that because it's manageable, and most days I will do better than that (self-empowerment!) but if I forget sometime, it's not defeating.
6. I will go to Edward Jones and invest money.
My two-year goal (which would make God get the giggles) is to be engaged to an kind, intelligent, handsome man who will go to church with me, have a bigger group of loyal friends, be a healthy, financially sound, less neurotic, M.Ed. after my name girl-about-town, and have a best-selling children's book.
Okay, that's my plan.
Here's what I've done in my first week off from work:
I've started a book sprint. I'm a very impatient reader, so I'll buy a ton of books, and then either read them each day-by-day, or cast them aside if they're not initially fascinating. This week, I reread "Nickel and Dimed" by Barbara Enrenreich, then "Almost French" by Sarah Turnbull, part of "Assassination Vacation" by Sarah Vowell, and "Any Place I Hang My Hat, " by Susan Isaacs. The last was the smartest relationship novel I've ever read! Very good. My next book is "The Bookseller of Kabul" by Åsne Seierstad.
My graduate class is kind of fun, because I get to see my friends from last year's classes, but also tiring, because some of them are so tangential when they discuss what they've learned from teaching. While I love writing papers again, educational theory can be so fluffy and seems to be mostly common sense (when something doesn't work, reflect on why, and help that form what you try next), but which only through repeated drillings is actually put into practice.
So I'm going to try to spend my morning walking around Uptown, mysteriously jotting down notes in my journal, while sipping an (inexpensive) coffee drink. It's time to put the plan in action.
Since my parents have become European jet-setters (for 3 weeks, anyway), I've started calling my grandma more often, just to get advice. I just like talking to older people about my problems, because I feel like my friends are just like me- kind of unqualified due to inexperience in the world: we mostly confused ourselves even more when we try to figure something out. Anyway, my grandma doesn't sugarcoat anything. The answers to most of my dilemmas are followed by the qualifier, "But that's life, sweetie." Grr...there are still answers, right? She's too existential for me! I want hopeful suggestions.
So her main piece of advice for me, raving about car insurance woes, complaining about my loan bills, and generally confused about my future, is...to have a plan:) Alright, grannie, this is my plan:
1. I'm going to get my Masters Degree this month. I'll pay for the classes I'm taking this month with the small increase in my salary b/c I now have a Masters Degree.
2. I will start writing my novel (the new career plan instead of Law School, which, according to my grandma, would suck the life out of me and we'd no longer be able to associate). I already have the major plot points, so today I'm going to start character research. And this is not going to be another one of those ideas where I can only see the end product. I already have a cute little notebook.
3. I will work harder to emotionally compartmentalize my life. During the school year, I put my social life on the back burner because I didn't feel I could deal with that and be a good teacher (which was my excuse for all of college, too). There must be a way for me to turn off my neurosis and just get back to work after a semi-traumatic relationship situation. I need to harness my chi and make a bigger social circle.
4. I will run everyday.
5. I will eat one healthy meal a day. I'm going to keep it at that because it's manageable, and most days I will do better than that (self-empowerment!) but if I forget sometime, it's not defeating.
6. I will go to Edward Jones and invest money.
My two-year goal (which would make God get the giggles) is to be engaged to an kind, intelligent, handsome man who will go to church with me, have a bigger group of loyal friends, be a healthy, financially sound, less neurotic, M.Ed. after my name girl-about-town, and have a best-selling children's book.
Okay, that's my plan.
Here's what I've done in my first week off from work:
I've started a book sprint. I'm a very impatient reader, so I'll buy a ton of books, and then either read them each day-by-day, or cast them aside if they're not initially fascinating. This week, I reread "Nickel and Dimed" by Barbara Enrenreich, then "Almost French" by Sarah Turnbull, part of "Assassination Vacation" by Sarah Vowell, and "Any Place I Hang My Hat, " by Susan Isaacs. The last was the smartest relationship novel I've ever read! Very good. My next book is "The Bookseller of Kabul" by Åsne Seierstad.
My graduate class is kind of fun, because I get to see my friends from last year's classes, but also tiring, because some of them are so tangential when they discuss what they've learned from teaching. While I love writing papers again, educational theory can be so fluffy and seems to be mostly common sense (when something doesn't work, reflect on why, and help that form what you try next), but which only through repeated drillings is actually put into practice.
So I'm going to try to spend my morning walking around Uptown, mysteriously jotting down notes in my journal, while sipping an (inexpensive) coffee drink. It's time to put the plan in action.
Friday, June 09, 2006
School's out for summer
How weird it is that I have 3 months of vacation starting Monday? As the last day of school drew near, I began reflecting on the year...
When did I get a job? It's been so fast. We all waved good-bye to the buses yesterday as they drove off. Most teachers clapped when they were gone, one cried because he was leaving for a new school, and I just relaxed my cheek muscles after a day of constant smiling. I'll miss those kids so much! One, who's moving this summer, just walked on by me at the end of the day, and I was like "Wait a minute, mister..." If any of them had been at all sad, I would have lost it and cried, but hey, they're 8 and the excitement of summer vacation is overwhelming.
I haven't made any very good friends at school. Some of them are really nice and fun to chat with there, but I always feel like joking around in the staff lounge and choosing specific people as friends is somewhat unprofessional (we're supposed to be a community of educators, anyway). At the end of the year party yesterday, I realized that I'm also a little bit different from most of the teachers my age, too. First, I was the absolute only person to bring wine. I couldn't open it, and I didn't think anyone would drink it besides myself, so I just left it there. Second, everyone was obsessed with these games, played with golf balls on ropes and "goals" built out of pvc piping. It was such a competitive game. Everyone was drinking beer, and one teacher even brought a bottle of whisky to pour into her coke can!
Public education is a struggle. It always will be until salaries increase, curriculum is either standardized or left alone, and the teaching profession becomes truly competitive. I am currently fighting to get a bigger classroom next year. As an ESL teacher who has small class sizes, my space in the school is the least of anyone's priorities. So, I was assigned to an office for next year! It's about the size of a walk-in closet, but I will be teacher about 60 students everyday in the room. There is no AC and it's right off a busy hallway. I'm arguing for the rights of my students, but in some ways the fight seems somewhat personal and self-serving as well. And what I have always hated about public education is the argumentative teachers, who are fighting for "their" rights. This profession needs to be free of self-interest, because eventually you'll talk yourself blue in the face and make everyone mad at you, and nothing will be accomplished. Everything has to be about the students. But, as a professional, I don't want to be in a 7x7 room for an entire year either. Sometimes I want to scream "I went to a good college, I almost have my Masters, and I could be making much more money doing almost anything else, so please give me some respect!" But then again, it can't be about me, because then I'm one of those teachers. I think this summer will be a much-needed break.
Oh, and finally, I will never never never live in the suburbs again. Just driving through them, with all the stadium-sized grocery stores and generic chain restaurants along sidewalk-free, litter-lined three-laned streets made my stomach contract and my throat feel dry. I hate being reliant on my car to get places, feeling trapped in a house in the center of a generic subdivision, and all those little trees that replaced the beautiful ones that were cut down for building!
Anyway, have a good summer!
How weird it is that I have 3 months of vacation starting Monday? As the last day of school drew near, I began reflecting on the year...
When did I get a job? It's been so fast. We all waved good-bye to the buses yesterday as they drove off. Most teachers clapped when they were gone, one cried because he was leaving for a new school, and I just relaxed my cheek muscles after a day of constant smiling. I'll miss those kids so much! One, who's moving this summer, just walked on by me at the end of the day, and I was like "Wait a minute, mister..." If any of them had been at all sad, I would have lost it and cried, but hey, they're 8 and the excitement of summer vacation is overwhelming.
I haven't made any very good friends at school. Some of them are really nice and fun to chat with there, but I always feel like joking around in the staff lounge and choosing specific people as friends is somewhat unprofessional (we're supposed to be a community of educators, anyway). At the end of the year party yesterday, I realized that I'm also a little bit different from most of the teachers my age, too. First, I was the absolute only person to bring wine. I couldn't open it, and I didn't think anyone would drink it besides myself, so I just left it there. Second, everyone was obsessed with these games, played with golf balls on ropes and "goals" built out of pvc piping. It was such a competitive game. Everyone was drinking beer, and one teacher even brought a bottle of whisky to pour into her coke can!
Public education is a struggle. It always will be until salaries increase, curriculum is either standardized or left alone, and the teaching profession becomes truly competitive. I am currently fighting to get a bigger classroom next year. As an ESL teacher who has small class sizes, my space in the school is the least of anyone's priorities. So, I was assigned to an office for next year! It's about the size of a walk-in closet, but I will be teacher about 60 students everyday in the room. There is no AC and it's right off a busy hallway. I'm arguing for the rights of my students, but in some ways the fight seems somewhat personal and self-serving as well. And what I have always hated about public education is the argumentative teachers, who are fighting for "their" rights. This profession needs to be free of self-interest, because eventually you'll talk yourself blue in the face and make everyone mad at you, and nothing will be accomplished. Everything has to be about the students. But, as a professional, I don't want to be in a 7x7 room for an entire year either. Sometimes I want to scream "I went to a good college, I almost have my Masters, and I could be making much more money doing almost anything else, so please give me some respect!" But then again, it can't be about me, because then I'm one of those teachers. I think this summer will be a much-needed break.
Oh, and finally, I will never never never live in the suburbs again. Just driving through them, with all the stadium-sized grocery stores and generic chain restaurants along sidewalk-free, litter-lined three-laned streets made my stomach contract and my throat feel dry. I hate being reliant on my car to get places, feeling trapped in a house in the center of a generic subdivision, and all those little trees that replaced the beautiful ones that were cut down for building!
Anyway, have a good summer!
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Questions for you :)
1. Do you have a good DSL/wireless internet provider, who also offers phone service? Please recommend one to me, since I hate Qwest with the fire of a thousand suns and have actually sworn at the automatic directory voice when it misunderstood my needs for the millionth time. And my last bill was $371.00, for reasons which no one working there can seem to explain to me.
2. How do you handle having a full-time job and keeping your life together? My apartment is a disaster right now and there's till dirt on the floor from where my cat knocked over my potted plant on Thursday. These are the things I need to do tomorrow:
*Separate 390 crayons into groups of three and tie them with ribbon for the ESL Award Ceremony on Monday.
*Write thank-you cards to all of my colleagues (22).
*Wash the pile of dishes by the sink.
*Go to church.
*Vacuum.
*Do three loads of laundry.
*Clean out my old car because it has five years of sloppy-Nicole build-up inside.
*Hopefully go for a run around Lake Harriet.
*Get a new insurance policy on my new car.
*Sign my old title over.
When do people have time for spontaneity without losing all control?
1. Do you have a good DSL/wireless internet provider, who also offers phone service? Please recommend one to me, since I hate Qwest with the fire of a thousand suns and have actually sworn at the automatic directory voice when it misunderstood my needs for the millionth time. And my last bill was $371.00, for reasons which no one working there can seem to explain to me.
2. How do you handle having a full-time job and keeping your life together? My apartment is a disaster right now and there's till dirt on the floor from where my cat knocked over my potted plant on Thursday. These are the things I need to do tomorrow:
*Separate 390 crayons into groups of three and tie them with ribbon for the ESL Award Ceremony on Monday.
*Write thank-you cards to all of my colleagues (22).
*Wash the pile of dishes by the sink.
*Go to church.
*Vacuum.
*Do three loads of laundry.
*Clean out my old car because it has five years of sloppy-Nicole build-up inside.
*Hopefully go for a run around Lake Harriet.
*Get a new insurance policy on my new car.
*Sign my old title over.
When do people have time for spontaneity without losing all control?
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Apologetically
Alright, here are some things I currently love apologetically but feel like sharing; there must be some other people with similar tastes :)
1. "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. I love this song so much right now. I crank up my radio every morning- because it's on at least once every day during my morning drive- and reflect on bad days. It's such a universal theme, and besides, I love melodic piano music. If you think about how sappy it is on American Idol, then yes, it's so annoying. But on its own, I love it.
2. Top Chef. That was such a good show! "I'm not your bitch, bitch!" I love it.
3. The Soup on E! I used to watch this show during the summer when Greg Kinnear was the host and I liked it then, but it's so much funnier now. I am in love with the little dog who howls with the host while he sings...
4. Trader Joe's Pad Thai in a bowl. I want to hate Trader Joe's because my parents are obsessed with it, but while the decor inside almost gave me a migraine (yuck, I can't stand cutesy homemade signs in retail), the frozen food selection is so nice.
5. Proactiv & Magic Bullet. I've become a person who orders infomercial products. Proactive really works (obviously, or why would Diddy endorse it, right?) but the Magic Bullet started smoking the first time I used it. But maybe I'll have a iced drink party this summer so I'll have a chance to use it again!
Alright, here are some things I currently love apologetically but feel like sharing; there must be some other people with similar tastes :)
1. "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. I love this song so much right now. I crank up my radio every morning- because it's on at least once every day during my morning drive- and reflect on bad days. It's such a universal theme, and besides, I love melodic piano music. If you think about how sappy it is on American Idol, then yes, it's so annoying. But on its own, I love it.
2. Top Chef. That was such a good show! "I'm not your bitch, bitch!" I love it.
3. The Soup on E! I used to watch this show during the summer when Greg Kinnear was the host and I liked it then, but it's so much funnier now. I am in love with the little dog who howls with the host while he sings...
4. Trader Joe's Pad Thai in a bowl. I want to hate Trader Joe's because my parents are obsessed with it, but while the decor inside almost gave me a migraine (yuck, I can't stand cutesy homemade signs in retail), the frozen food selection is so nice.
5. Proactiv & Magic Bullet. I've become a person who orders infomercial products. Proactive really works (obviously, or why would Diddy endorse it, right?) but the Magic Bullet started smoking the first time I used it. But maybe I'll have a iced drink party this summer so I'll have a chance to use it again!
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
A view into the cynicism within public school walls
This week I've been experiencing a crash course in school politics and the negative effects of No Child Left Behind firsthand. For those who want to know what NCLB does, it's this:
1. It makes teachers judge their performance based on test scores as compared to National Standards, not realistic student progress.
2. Students are therefore labeled as "loaded." I heard this term at least 10 times today when people were complaining about my ESL classroom placements for the next school year. Apparently, a student who is a lower reader, and probably doesn't have English-speaking parents, is a time-vacuum for lesson-planning...and so why would a teacher volunteer to teach students in that group?
3. Our whole school is bittered by a sense of failure because our test scores are lower than the government requires.
4. This all causes me to realize that I'll need to decide if I can withstand the atmosphere of pressure and blind, test-based judgment of students, as well as if I can endure the cynicism I will face everyday from my colleagues. I think that I will only last in this job if I can remain naïve to the testing realities of NCLB. Can I work in a position where I am required to give each non-native English speaking student over 16 combined total hours of tests each year and then listen as they are negatively judged (and eventually treated?) based on the results? None of the teachers with whom I spoke today could understand my position, because so much of their job is tied up in pleasing the district, state, and national standards.
So, my current passions, to counter the mood at school, include:
A. applying for a National Geographic Society grant for an integrated, video-centered take-home curriculum that my ESL students can utilize at any time during the year. They're pulled out of class everyday during Social Studies, and we only have time at our school to do 30 minutes a day anyway.
B. Sending a letter to my representatives about an initiative to provide free English language classes at every public library in Minnesota. If we say immigrants must learn English, and then wonder why people who are working 2 full-time minimum-wage jobs to feed their family don't take classes, we'll never have a solution.
C. Find summer penpals for all my students.
D. Study for the LSATs!
my wall of influential immigrants.
This week I've been experiencing a crash course in school politics and the negative effects of No Child Left Behind firsthand. For those who want to know what NCLB does, it's this:
1. It makes teachers judge their performance based on test scores as compared to National Standards, not realistic student progress.
2. Students are therefore labeled as "loaded." I heard this term at least 10 times today when people were complaining about my ESL classroom placements for the next school year. Apparently, a student who is a lower reader, and probably doesn't have English-speaking parents, is a time-vacuum for lesson-planning...and so why would a teacher volunteer to teach students in that group?
3. Our whole school is bittered by a sense of failure because our test scores are lower than the government requires.
4. This all causes me to realize that I'll need to decide if I can withstand the atmosphere of pressure and blind, test-based judgment of students, as well as if I can endure the cynicism I will face everyday from my colleagues. I think that I will only last in this job if I can remain naïve to the testing realities of NCLB. Can I work in a position where I am required to give each non-native English speaking student over 16 combined total hours of tests each year and then listen as they are negatively judged (and eventually treated?) based on the results? None of the teachers with whom I spoke today could understand my position, because so much of their job is tied up in pleasing the district, state, and national standards.
So, my current passions, to counter the mood at school, include:
A. applying for a National Geographic Society grant for an integrated, video-centered take-home curriculum that my ESL students can utilize at any time during the year. They're pulled out of class everyday during Social Studies, and we only have time at our school to do 30 minutes a day anyway.
B. Sending a letter to my representatives about an initiative to provide free English language classes at every public library in Minnesota. If we say immigrants must learn English, and then wonder why people who are working 2 full-time minimum-wage jobs to feed their family don't take classes, we'll never have a solution.
C. Find summer penpals for all my students.
D. Study for the LSATs!
my wall of influential immigrants.
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