Holidays, part 1
I haven't posted in so long; I doubt anyone still reads my blog ;(

Since I don't keep a diary (for the reason that when I die, it would make me seem manic, trivial, superficial, and banal since I'm truly unmotivated to do it with any frequency), I feel like I should write something here about my holiday. It was marvelous. I am so incredibly lucky. Here's what happened:

I feel like the holiday season, at least in the secular sense, began on December 16, my father's birthday. Our family isn't big on surprises and we've never done a surprise party of any kind, so I thought I would try, in a small way at least, to attempt to stun my dad a little bit. The further benefit of which being that he always bemoans the fact that his birthday is so close to Christmas, it gets overlooked, he gets combination b-day/xmas gifts, etc. So I made a plan: it began when I saw an ad for the Transiberian Orchestra for the day before his birthday in CityPages. I love them. I think they're totally over the top, like a corale group mixed with an '80's hair band. It's just kitchy enough not to be obnoxious (or so obnoxious that they're kitchy?;) So I bought the tickets, which were trés chere. Oh well, that was going to be his primary gift, besides a stuffed loon that made a loon call when you squeezed it (my dad loves his looney buddies!) Anyway, the show was going to be at the Target Center, which happens to connect to my dad's favorite bit of skyway (idiosyncracy #2 about my dad: he loves the skyway!) Then I remembered that he loves Bellanotte, an Italian restaurant that connects, by skyway, to the Target Center. So after dinner, I could idly suggest that we all go for a walk in the skyway, which he'd definitely be up for, and then we could walk over there for the surprise unveiling of the tickets! The final part of the birthday involved getting my brother up here secretly, so he could come with us.

And in the end, it all worked out beautifully. We did have to rush dinner- Bellanotte was so slow- but my dad didn't seem to mind, and he loved the over-the-top light show at the concert. Yay first birthday surprise! I plan on many more.

My Christmas spirit continued to grow when my brother arrived on Wednesday the 19th. We have so much fun together. He even came to visit my work on Friday. Unfortunately, I started feeling incredibly nauseous by lunch and had to leave early...I didn't even make it to my apartment before throwing up, in the garbage can next to my mailbox! Then I took a little nap and forced my mom and brother to help me shop for the ingredients for our family's first ever Mexican xmas dinner, to take place on Saturday night. I bought most of the food, and delicious chips, at Midtown Global Market. I love that place! We went to Lund's, where I showed my dedication to good cooking by pushing through my nausea to finishing shopping (I only threw up twice there). Blah. By the next morning, even though I couldn't eat very much, I felt better, and went to my grandparents place to start cooking. It felt like a traditional Mexican scene, with three generations of women rolling tamales and drinking beer (maybe that's not tradition?) We also made Mexican rice, beans, Rosca de Reyes (like fruitcake), Mexican hot chocolate, margaritas, and sangria! With everything laid out, my apartment looked beautiful and felt so warm and cozy. We all sat around eating for a while, then opened the first night of secret santa presents (which we do for the three days before Christmas). My cousin got a pretend shaving kit and shaved everyone. Then I did a reading of a children's story about a father who goes to America for work and comes home just in time for Christmas (which the Republican candidates would probably recommend for a book burning). The whole meal was so nice.

John and I went to Chino Latino for drinks one night (why do I always forget their Irish coffees are horrible?) then to see Juno again. It's better the second time, I say. Oh, and before that, we both attended the team friendship gift exchange, which was super fun as well. I got a pretty mirror and placards from Bri and gave Amy a lollipop where you have to lick Rudolph's tongue...so weird! For John, since he wasn't part of the exchange, I got Ben & Jerry's paraphenalia, and a pint of Americone Dream, which is delicious!

I'm getting sleepy, so I'll finish this later. Happy New Year's Eve in three hours!

I've been thinking about career choices, what we're raised to believe, and how it differs in each generation. My grandparents were raised to believe that you should save every penny, buy store brand, never eat out, and put money in solid stocks. They got married when they were 22. My grandpa became a doctor and started working right away, which supported his family, and my grandmother raised the children and supported charitable causes. Now my grandpa is incredibly sound (financially, if not always in his mind:), and yet they live the same way as before and still worry about money. He told me yesterday that Apple stocks are up to $200 a share and they told me how many he has and I couldn't do the math in my head. But he and my grandmother were raised in a climate of spend-thriftness that they can't shake.

My mother was raised in a period when women were taught to liberate themselves and not depend on men for financial support. So she decided to become a doctor so she'd never have to worry. Of course, she met my dad right after making that decision that they got married at age 23. Both of my parents were still studying for their careers when I was born, but they haven't changed jobs and can support their family without much stress.

I and my friends were raised to believe that we should be whatever we want to be, independent of financial worries. We should study what we're interested in in college and feel free to take time off after school. Women and men are financial equals, so women are expected to earn as much or more, but we aren't expected to get married until late 20's, early 30's. And education, which we're encouraged to return to if we find our initial careers unsatisfying, is getting more and more expensive. We've been given an idealistic dream of labor that isn't productive. I made a choice that I felt certain about at the time without thought for my financial security or future. I don't feel that the world is full of endless possibilities anymore- like living in a foreign country for a year, writing a book, or buying a house are things I may ever do while I'm still single- and the future is seeming precarious. As a person who feels the most comfortable in a world with parameters that I can maintain and control, this is disconcerting and I am longing for the day when I can regain my fiscal balance (economic schmaltz!)

This evening I went for a walk by myself to look at Christmas lights. I left my apartment and walked toward the lake, and then turned right and went 10 blocks north to Mount Curve Road, my fantasy street. While I was doing my little hopping walk, to keep from sliding, I listened to my favorite Christmas songs. From the capacity for happiness stored in the memories of those songs, in the peaceful quiet of the snow-covered street, the seasonal anticipation I was already starting to feel made me so, well, full of Christmas spirit, I guess:) Every year I get this way before Christmas. The season, so redolent of past times spent with family and friends, is therefore mostly a month of building up to the one day, which never quites lives up to the experiences during advent. I love decorating my little tree, baking and frosting sugar cookies, shopping for presents, planning parties, singing carols, drinking hot chocolate, and staying up late for church on Christmas Eve.