My First Student Purchase
Today I spent $35 on copies, to use in making a "Word Office" for each of my 45 pull-out students. So tomorrow will include lots of stapling! I also make copies of the first three states my classes will be visiting: Minnesota, Michigan, and Illinois. Tomorrow night, after making a final student list, I'm going to buy those efficient binders that I had my eye on before...they'll be perfect portfolios that my students can use throughout the year and pass on to next year's students.

Tomorrow, I'm going in to finally clean up my classroom in the morning, then I have an iLife seminar in afternoon, an ESL committee meeting, and then I'm going back to school.

Ooh- in our team-building seminar this afternoon, I found out that I'm part Lion, part Beaver. That means that I'm task-oriented, determined, dedicated, take charge, bossy, analytical, a perfectionist, and have a tendency to get stressed out. Then we had to work in groups to "Design on a Dime" another teacher's bulletin board. My group was me and 4 "Golden Retrievers" (i.e. people who like to be told what to do and rarely make decisions). So I took charge and delegated and got made fun of for being "such a lion." Oh well. We're also the ones who get things done! :) Almost all of the teachers are golden retrievers or Otters, which I'm not at all...I guess that's good to know and will help me work better with them.

I'm so excited that I have two parties to go to this week. I'm going to have a social life this year!!

I've realized something that probably everyone who knows me already knows: I am not a chatter. I love discussions, like "how can we reverse globål warming on a local level?", but just shooting the breeze I'm not good at. And it's not fun. I think I get this from my parents. When I went out to dinner with them, we talked about random things for a little while, but then there was a long, silent pause. Finally, my dad said, "So, what dya think's going to happen with the Middle East situation, then?" We are incapable of small talk, I guess. Which is what makes "TEAM BUILDING DAY" so hard for me. I usually just keep asking questions and let the other person just talk about themselves...and then try to shift conversation to current issues. Like, "Speaking of your vacation in Beijing, how is China going to cope with the growing automobile market without making concise driving regulations? And if every middle class Chinese person buys a car, how will they all fit?" I don't think my colleagues like my segues or topics. Oh well ;)

I'm so excited to be here, but I wish I could just focus on organzing my classroom. I LOVE organizing, making posters, and rearranging. Oops, it's almost 12 and I need to get to our next group activity!

A Big THANK YOU :)
Something wonderful happened yesterday. I got my mail and took it in the car with me as I drove down to St. Olaf with my brother. While we were driving, I opened one of the letters, from my favorite reverend, Rev. Mike. And inside was a letter, letting my know that the Episcopal Campus Ministry Alumni Association had raised money for my students... a lot of money! I started crying, and I kept saying to my brothers "they're so generous" and "that's such an ECM thing to do!" I'm so grateful to all of them, especially since their extremely kind gift will be amazing for my little students:) It will definitely make them feel important and valued to receive the supplies that this gift will provide. And here is a shout out to the reader who saw my post about fancy binders and suggested the fund-raising: Thanks so much, Andrew ;)

Tomorrow is my first day back at work and I have millions of boxes to clear out. The janitors were going to throw out my boxes, since they're all in the hallway, but another teacher told them that they were actually mine and only in the hallway because there's no space for them in my room!

I'm too pensive to bullet my ideas today. I just got back from the State Fair Grounds, where I saw the Flaming Lips for the first time. I loved: the streamers, Wayne Coyne's hair, and finding an empty seat so I could watch the spectacle from up high. I disliked: the overstimulation, how much he swore (there were a lot of little kids there), and the dancing martians.

I spent three hours organizing my room today. I'm going to have to constantly remind myself to be graceful about my classroom "situation," since I want to try to be that kind of person who takes on challenges without fuss and proves the cynics wrong. However...my room is very small. It's like generous-walk-in-closet small. I don't have a desk, because there's no room. I have two tables, but they had to be manipulated many ways before I found a placement that would leave enough room for me to go from the door to the whiteboard without going over or under them. All the boxes of materials had to be removed just so it wasn't like one of those puzzles that requires you to move one piece at a time. And tomorrow, I'm going to need to throw out bags and bags of material that I have no room for (most of it seems like junk anyway, but I swear I'll need it the minute it's gone).

My family comes to town tomorrow. I love when they visit because they're on their best behavior and feel the need to eat at really nice restaurants :) We're going to the fair tomorrow night, then spending the night at my grandparents' apartment in Edina. I'm really excited about trying more crazy fair food; today I saw pickle on a stick, wrapped in cream cheese and salami (eww). There's also cheese on a stick, key lime pie dipped in chocolate on a stick, and obviously, pizza on a stick. I tried the breakfast sausage (with cheese, egg, bacon, potato, and peppers in a sausage link!) this morning. If was fabulous. Anyway, Saturday morning I'm going to attempt to make the Disney World triple-sauce, caramel french toast that I last made at my apartment warming party two years ago. It's amazing, and I'm excited!

I have a strange pain in my calf that is starting to worry me. Since my appendectomy in March, I've become much more hypochondriatic...but what if it is a blood clot? Since the idea makes me feel nauseous, and "clot" is the word I hate most, I hope my mom can give me a normal explanation tomorrow. Like running strain, or something else less fatal and disgusting.

I'm going to a black-tie Emmy party this weekend that I'm very excited about as well. It's being thrown in a kind of ironic way (I think), since there will be running commentary (I'm sure) disparaging every presenter, winner, and the host. And I won't mind at all this time, because I know the source of all this hostility and know it's in fun ;) I'm going to wear my red satin gown, if I can find a zipper. I bought it for $15 at the designer thrift store, knowing someday I'd need it.

I need advice about dealing with colleagues that are still stuck in a high-school mindset in terms of personal relationships. With people like that, should I avoid them, tolerate them, confront them, or act hyper-nice and kill them with sweetness? Or is that just playing into their game and I really shouldn't think about them at all, until they mess with me, which will happen sometime this year. Just hearing this one person talk makes my jaw clench, which is horrible and mean, but probably instinctual until I find a solution.

The "uniform" for teachers at my school- the jersey knit black gauchos and bright t-shirt, sometimes combined with patterned scarf/belt- makes me want to scream (well, in a fashion sense, it's irritating). If you're all going to wear the same thing for some reason, at least make it trendy with the outside world...

I've decided that I'm going to dress librarian-chic for work: no heels, knee-length skirts, ruffled tops, and sometimes black tights with black shoes. I don't know why I was working so hard to look "professional" last year, since I shouldn't be trying to impress anyone with my clothes and I'm much more resourceful for my students when I'm not mad about a blister on my heel.

Finally, I ran into my favorite Borders employee again yesterday, an Indian man who likes to teach me about India while I make a purchase. He placed the home cities of two of my best friends from high school based on their last names and told me about the diversity of languages there. I was buying "No God But God" by Reza Aslan, and he asked me if I was Muslim. I've never been asked that before.

Things to look forward to...

a. Seeing the Flaming Lips at the State Fair on Thursday. I know it's expensive, but anyone who wants to come, I'd love to carpool...and hit huge beach balls at the concert with you!
b. Food on sticks at the state fair.
c. My family comes to visit on Friday.
d. Organizing my classroom- it's going to be like one of those block puzzles, when you have to move one piece at a time because they're all squeezed together in a small space. I'm going to have posters on hangers, so I can switch them between classes! How many posters can I jam into a walk-in closet? We'll see :)
e. Learning about my students' test scores at our staff meeting. The principal hinted that we had reading scores that were the best in the district!
f. Carnival rides with R.
g. An organized, nonstressful school year!

Likes and Dislikes

Likes
Meeting guys that negate all the horrendous dates.
Brit's Pub.
My friends, who associate with me even though I get tipsy after two drinks.
The Black Film Festival.
Being really organized for school:)

Dislikes
The screwed up eliminations on Project Runway: if they're going to act all high and mighty about the authenticity of the show, they shouldn't eliminate talented designers and keep the incredibly bizarre ones.
Brit's bacon-oil salad dressing for the spinach salad...that's disgusting!
Grandma's philosphy on men: never act like I'm available, never seem like I want a relationship, never call them, never expect commitment.
The price of parking downtown.

Quick Update

*I received a Masters in Spanish from the University of Minnesota...without taking any classes! I just got a letter of confirmation in the mail. Well, that's going to look amazing on my resume ;)

* I just sent an email to the entire district by mistake. Grr...darn you reply-to-all button!

*I got out of taking the new teacher seminar next week (all week long) by saying that I would feel bad costing the district money to teach me things I already know. All it takes to get out of stuff in my district is to mention money, apparently.

OMG! My ultimate bow-tied, Republican crush, Tucker Carlson, is going to be on Dancing with the Stars! Excitement!! He should have a dance-off with Jon Stewart...to decide the midterm elections.

I've realized that my mood can break at any moment. I had such a fun day today: Weezie went to church with me, helped me pick out a digital camera, and browsed for school clothes with me at the Mall of America. Instead of going on a ride, she decided to play one of those horrible carnival games, that has hundreds of perfectly rounded bowls floating around in water, the goal of which is to get a ping pong ball to stay in a bowl. I was half-way through my "it's really not about skill, only luck, so even if you try your best..." talk, when she got a ball in a bowl. In one of the special colored ones! I've never seen anyone win at one of those games, so I've always associated them with childhood disappointment. But Weezie won a huge purple unicorn, which fueled her love of games of chance...oh well.

Anyway, I found adorable clothes at Forever 21. They're so beautifully draped, it almost makes up for the fact that they're so cheap that I'll need to hand-wash them. I got home early tonight, to watch "The Ron Clark Story," which was way too generic to be a good teacher movie. I wish someone would actually depict what it's like in a movie. Not the saving of inner city kids, but the millions of little issues and stresses and achievements. And the fear that I'm failing them every day! Actually, it's not usually that bad, I'm just getting all worked up about the first day of school.

After that wonderful day, my positive attitude suddenly cracked, just from the tone of someone's voice. I don't know why I feel so vulnerable sometimes. Maybe I'm not as trusting as I should be, but I honestly have sudden pains of fear that people will give up on me, abandon me. And it's a completely unfounded and irrational fear. I know I just need to sleep on it and the feeling will be gone. I'm bothered that it affects me so much.

This week, I need to focus on my curriculum planning. I desperately want to be in control of my job this year and not need to stay until 8pm on Friday nights! I also want to run every day, get rid of my leftover ice cream from the capture the flag/sundae party, and persuad my principal to give me a new classroom:)

Book Survey
1. One book that changed your life: A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Betty Smith. The main character is me, a shy, quiet, studious girl, which was so comforting when I was surrounded by the complete superficiality that is Northville High School.

2. One book that you've read more than once: The Shell Seekers. It's a quasi-romance novel- very long- but set in England, so somehow seems more posh, less cheesy. But it has all the perks of Joan Collins book: deception, betrayl, jet-setting to Greek isles, revenge, and fighting over a will. It's perfect, every single time. And there's a BBC series about it starring Angela Landsbury.

3. One book you’d want on a desert island: Hmm...well probably something that would take me a looooong time to completely understand, like Gringo Viejo by Carlos Fuentes...in Spanish. That would keep me busy for a while, since I didn't really understand it in English. But I would definitely need a Spanish-English dictionary or I might go crazy on the island and start talking to a volley ball.

4. One book that made you laugh: The Nanny Diaries. I know it's popular chick-lit (whatever that means) but I could completely relate to seeing a marriage break down while babysitting. I once witnessed a major argument conducted over the family's home intercom system. I was forced to pretend to be really interested in their cookbook selection.

5. One book that made you cry: I don't remember the last book that made me cry. I think it was probably Savage Inequalities by Jonathan Kozol, because anything that reminds me of how hard life is for some of my students makes me cry. (Fact: Jonathan Kozol got a Rhodes scholarship to Magdalen college at Oxford. That is my nerdy dream scholarship!! I had to sneak into Magdalen when I was there, since they're all too good for Hertford).

6. One book that you wish had been written: I wish Jane Austen had written one book about what happened after the "happily ever after." Even that long ago, every story ended with marriage.

7. One book that you wish had never been written: I don't know...Mein Kampf?

8. One book you’re currently reading: Any Place I Hang My Hat by Susan Isaacs.

9. One book you’ve been meaning to read: Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro.

Likes and Dislikes of the Weekend:)

Dislikes:
1. Blind dates with awkward silences.
2. Blind dates when the person lies about their height by 6 inches, insults his mother, asks me-during a movie- if I've ever done drugs, tells me he has no friends because everyone lies, and shows up 20 minutes late because he lost track of time while browsing for t-shirts in Hot Topic. The one good part was that I drank my wine so fast that I had the courage to ask a hot guy to give me a hug afterwards, to clean the "bad date" karma off me!
3. Williams, Drink, and bars in Uptown that play bad 80's music without irony.
4. Loud, dark bars, when I can't hear my friends...and they won't take my money;)
5. Nightmares. I woke up at 3am last night completely terrified. My arms were over my head, with my wrists together, just like my hands were bound, and I was so irrationally frightened that my muscles wouldn't move for 5 minutes...I just lay there, trying to calm my subconscious down. This is the second time I've had a dream that traumatic in a month. Which is why I'm never allowed to watch a horror movie again, since my mind acculmulates all of the stupid, trite scenes together to frighten me! Last night, the killer rode a motorcycle (or maybe a snowmobile) and chased girls after they left a rural high school after practice in the evening. I was one of them and I tried to hide under the snow, but it found me. That's actually ridiculous, but my body believed it, which was the scary part.

Likes:
1. Ally McBeal...I just remembered that I loved that show, before it got really weird, especially the theme song and the episodes with Robert Downey, Jr.
2. The employees at Sebastian Joe's in Linden Hills...maybe I'll start lesson planning there.
3. Getting paid and not having ALL of the money go to tuition! I bought a ton of watermelon this week and I'm indulging in it all the time now.
4. The diversity in my neighborhood.
5. Capture the flag. I'm going to have a party soon!! I think I need to feel like a kid again before I go back to work and need to pretend to be responsible:)

"It's not like I'm playing the field, it's like work...it's like I'm working in the field!"
So I just realized that dating a lot is exhausting and stressful! I don't know how guys do it. I feel like I'm always getting ready, dressed-up, and there's so much anticipation. It reminded me of one of my favorite episodes of Friends, when Phoebe dates two men at the same time: the fireman and the elementary school teacher. First she thinks that it's a choice between a burly one and a sensitive one- no choice, obviously ;) But then she sees the teacher doing construction work and hears the fireman recite poetry. Hmm...

Likes and Dislikes of the Week

Likes:
*Frozen watermelon. I buy it pre-cut at Lunds, then freeze it, and eat it with a fork. It's like Italian Ice, but organic! I think freezing watermelon is popular in Japan.
*Project Runway. I love that the show has actually talented people, doing amazing designs. I wish they would have a teaching reality show, to show people know how difficult it really is and what amazing strategies teachers can whip out in a crisis and how analytical the profession really can be.
*I'm starting to feel like I'll be prepared when school starts and that I'll be able to have more of a social life this year. Which is great because I've met some exciting people this summer.
*All the things there are to do in my neighborhood: Wolf Parade next week, Ghostbusters in Castillo Park on Thursday, the Diane Arbus exhibit at the Walker Art Museum, and the Pizza Luce Block Party (where Thunder in the Valley is playing, my birthday band).
*Beautiful, sunny, 60 degree weather today. The rain finally came yesterday, after it got up in the 100's on Monday!

Dislikes:
*The University of Minnesota. No one cares about individual students (at least not me) and students are expected to completely fend for themselves, which is much more difficult than at a private school since none of the bureaucracy communicates intra-collegiately (or whatever:) So I actually have to let someone know that I'm done with my Masters, otherwise they'd never know it. And my bill this month was completely screwed up and then the helpline operator was so rude and patronizing. Grr. It makes me wax nostalgic about Wash U, where I had four advisors!
*Trying to create my own curriculum when my administration is still on vacation. My plan is to use the Social Studies Standards as the supporting content, based on the US History and geography. We'll travel from state to state, using the facts and history about each, and I'll hopefully be able to find video clips and other media to show them. Then, I need to address all of the Language Arts standards for Minnesota and the National TESOL standards (for ESL). It's just a crazy amount of cross-referencing, integrating language and content instruction, and second-guessing myself.
*Lack of money for school supplies...I saw these wonderful new binders at Office Max. They are really thin and have folding rings, so they'll fit into folders, essential since my classroom is the size of a walk-in closet. And they have a holder for note cards, and two dividers, and are hard cover. When I saw them, I immediately wanted to buy them for all my students...I was drooling in the notebook aisle! I really want my students to have supplies that are indicative of my expectations and high hopes for their academic success. I want them to take pride in their classwork, but most of their families don't have the resources. Anyway, these fancy binders cost $6.99 each, which is tough to pull off for all of my 60 students. Does anyone know of education-friendly philanthropists who would like to fund that? Hmm...
*I'm sorry that I don't like baseball games! I would try to pretend, as I have many times during college and graduate school, but it's tooooooo boring. Honestly, you could watch SportsCenter and get 20 seconds of highlights, which would actually be the ONLY things that happened during the game. And you could even buy some FastDogs (those new ones), nachos, and beer for cheaper and sit at home, eating really fast. But 6-ish hours of tedium in plastic seats? I'm sorry, my friends, but it's not going to happen again! As a trade-off, I will never expect you to go to see chick flicks with me;)