I've realized that my mood can break at any moment. I had such a fun day today: Weezie went to church with me, helped me pick out a digital camera, and browsed for school clothes with me at the Mall of America. Instead of going on a ride, she decided to play one of those horrible carnival games, that has hundreds of perfectly rounded bowls floating around in water, the goal of which is to get a ping pong ball to stay in a bowl. I was half-way through my "it's really not about skill, only luck, so even if you try your best..." talk, when she got a ball in a bowl. In one of the special colored ones! I've never seen anyone win at one of those games, so I've always associated them with childhood disappointment. But Weezie won a huge purple unicorn, which fueled her love of games of chance...oh well.

Anyway, I found adorable clothes at Forever 21. They're so beautifully draped, it almost makes up for the fact that they're so cheap that I'll need to hand-wash them. I got home early tonight, to watch "The Ron Clark Story," which was way too generic to be a good teacher movie. I wish someone would actually depict what it's like in a movie. Not the saving of inner city kids, but the millions of little issues and stresses and achievements. And the fear that I'm failing them every day! Actually, it's not usually that bad, I'm just getting all worked up about the first day of school.

After that wonderful day, my positive attitude suddenly cracked, just from the tone of someone's voice. I don't know why I feel so vulnerable sometimes. Maybe I'm not as trusting as I should be, but I honestly have sudden pains of fear that people will give up on me, abandon me. And it's a completely unfounded and irrational fear. I know I just need to sleep on it and the feeling will be gone. I'm bothered that it affects me so much.

This week, I need to focus on my curriculum planning. I desperately want to be in control of my job this year and not need to stay until 8pm on Friday nights! I also want to run every day, get rid of my leftover ice cream from the capture the flag/sundae party, and persuad my principal to give me a new classroom:)