I haven't written on here in such a long time, probably because I've been seeing a lot of the people who I want to share my ideas and issues with, so it feels redundant. But I do have many friends who I don't get to talk to very often- esp. since I despise talking on the phone, a trait that I inherited from both of my parents- so I'm going to write an update post. I hope I get to talk to you all soon, though!

Quick update:
I'm almost done with an article I'm writing about masonry. At this point I'm slowly losing my mind because I can't seem to finish it, it just isn't coming together like I want. I have all the research I need. I think that it is subconsciously a signal to me that summer is almost over and it's time to go back to my real, less exciting job. Which is unfair, because I love teaching, but it has been luxurious to sit around at the library and study anything I want, then write about it, then try to get it published (I've submitted one article- we'll see if it's ever actually printed). I think the transition back to teaching is difficult for the same reason that it's hard for students: you're out of practice, scared about friendships and responsibilities, and are suddenly jolted out of a three-month stupor which included watching late-night TV every day and sleeping in every morning (me). Which is why I think the school year should be year-round, with one month-ish break from Thanksgiving to New Years, one in the spring, and one in late summer. Besides helping the students (esp. my students), it would also improve teaching and learning, since it would feel less like a race to the finish, and more like a progressing, continuous learning cycle, no longer punctuated by periods of complete disorganization. Since children no longer need to be home to harvest during the summer, air conditioning is the only thing holding this back.

I went back to work today for the first time. I want my classroom to be spick and span on the first day back for teachers, so I can focus on collaborating with other teachers during that week. Apparently, the two teachers on my team scheduled a secret meeting with our principal to tell him that they wanted me to teach 20 more students than each of them, to make their lives easier, and also that I have communication problems. Every time I hear that, I want to scream that the way I work is based on everything I've learned in college and grad school about effective teaching practices! I also hear the voice of one of my colleagues in our fight during the last week of school, when I said "I'm sorry, I just like to get things done early so they're done well," and she said "Oh, I KNOW that!" as though it's a bad thing. I hate fighting with people and having people disliking me for inane reasons, like that I'm organized and efficient. I know it can be annoying to have someone who tries to get things done (my mom drove me crazy with her OCD about cleanliness), but it makes me mad that I have to feel guilty about it as a professional. My goal this year at work is to make more friends and to worry less about the gossip and attitude in the staff lounge- honestly, some people act like they're still in high school and that is the last type of socialization that I would ever want to experience again. The first time was bad enough!

Anyway, I was back at school and I had to walk around to look for the custodians to let me into my classroom. When I walked past a group of summer camp kids, one little boy said "She looks like a mom." I thought to myself, "That's cute." Then, about five minutes later, the implications of that comment sunk in and I had a teeny panic attack in the east wing. I look like a mom? Most people- waitresses, guys I date, bouncers- think I look about 16. I've never been mistaken for any role older than my true self. No one's ever asked me what I do- they always ask where I go to school (i.e. I'm obviously still in college, if not high school, if not middle school-honestly). I immediately freaked out about my wardrobe, too. Was I particularly mom-esque today? No. I was wearing boot cut jeans, a tank top I bought at Old Navy kids, and flip flops. My hair was in a ponytail. It wasn't like I had a highlighted bob, was wearing mom pants, and a twin set (and I never will- well, maybe a sweater set, but in an ironic, retro way). But the comment mostly made me think about my mom. When she was 25, she had a two year-old baby and had done one year of surgical rotation in residency. She worked 24-hour shifts and cried because she rarely saw her baby (me). I don't know how she managed that emotionally.

Oh, I'm so tired. I've gone running for the past two days and my shin hurts. I'm going to go to bed.