A Psychological Diagnosis
In honor of the new medical diagnosis page in the New York Times magazine, which is so interesting, here is an inconclusive diagnosis of my listening problem.

Symptoms:
An inability to recall oral directions, especially multi-step instructions with no visual modeling. Cannot remember heard comments in passing. Attempts to compensate for the problem include excessive usage of post-its. Acted as secretary of a group in college, but could not type and listen to the dialogue at the same time (which led to some confusion). However, has great difficulty focusing on a task in silence: there must be noise for her to study. Without background noise, she becomes increasingly distracted by tangential thoughts and becomes philosophical. (For example, cooking in silence leads to her standing still, licking a spoon in a trancelike state, contemplating what it would be like to attend Le Corden Bleu in Paris- how much French would I need to know to follow the cooking directions?). She feels that the louder the background noise when she's focusing on a task, the more she has to contintually refocus her attention on that task, which actually increases her capacity for productivity.

Family History:
Grandfather has limited audio recall as well- especially when listening to directions when not accompanied by a visual guide. Maternal aunt was diagnosed with audio dyslexia (which means she has difficulty maintaining the order of words when listening?)

Diagnosis: Hmm...I think I have audio ADD. I need constant audio stimulus or I start to have the most random thoughts! I don't watch a lot of tv, but I almost always have it on at home because the noise keeps me focused. I also need to write down every single instruction or note at work. Which is why I'm addicted to sticky notes (of all sizes) and making lists. I can't just ask myself what I need to do, because I don't trust my memory:)

I'm really sorry if there are times when it seems like I haven't been listening to my friends! I stopped telling people about my listening issue for a while because of the way the teacher in my student-teaching placement treated it. Whenever I made a mistake, like not remembering some random and inconsequential information, she would say "I know you have your problem, Nicole, but you're going to have to get over it if you want to be a teacher..." Her tone was so mean that I'm always afraid that people will think I'm making it up or I can't compensate for it. But I usually can;) Isn't that bizarre?