Classes are so strenuous this week! It's only the 3rd week of the term and we already have midterms (because it's so intensive). It's made everyone really cranky at school because none of us get any sleep or have lives anymore.
My days are so boring:
6am-wake up
7am-bus to campus
7:55-9:55 class
12:20-2:20 class
2:30-4:30 class
4:40pm-bus home
dinner
homework until 11pm every night!
It's annoying, but I need to keep telling myself that I'll have a Masters in a year and start my student teaching. I'm so excited because my mom and brother are coming to Minneapolis this weekend to help me move into my first apartment. I haven't been inside it yet, but it's big and in a really fun neighborhood. I think I'm going to get a fish to keep me company when I'm not busy (which is never right now, so it should all work). I hope everyone is having an amazing time this summer and if you're an ecm alum, please go to the blog- ecmalum.blogspot.com (password: the name of our house) and post your new experiences!

I just saw "Fahrenheit 9/11." It finally showed scenes that so many people have never seen: peaceful, happy families in Iraq before the war. I think it's so easy to imagine that it's a country of crazy extremists running around the sand dunes with huge weapons and killing innocent people at will. At least that's all we're shown. Iraq, and especially Baghdad, was so civilized. And obviously, the people had the same dreams for their lives that we do. There were images of little children playing on swingsets in their backyards.

On September 11, I went to the service at Graham Chapel and then sat outside in a prayer circle with some other students. I hadn't thought about it for so long. Anyway, we each went around and offered prayers. I have always feared the vigilante attitude of President Bush, so I prayed for the thousands of people who were going to be killed just because people from their country had done this to the United States.

While I watched the movie, I actually felt physically sick with the thought that our country had torn apart so many Iraqi and American families with this invasion. Can anyone actually explain the validation for the war anymore? I honestly don't think that capturing Saddam Hussein is enough of a reason. Wasn't there a way to remove him internally? Did we really exhaust every other option? There are so many countries living with oppression and genocide- why haven't we liberated those people?

The Iraqis are fighting back so much now, and I feel like I understand why: if you lived there and had nothing to do with the government, and the United States invades and decides that you and your family could be justifiably killed or taken captive at any time- and then abused- simply because you live there, wouldn't THAT justify fighting back? The poor people have decide between Saddam Hussein or this. It makes me so furious that I live in America and have almost no power to stop these horrible things from taking place.

It also makes me mad that the Bush administration convinced our country that this war WAS justified. I supported the war against Afghanistan. When Bush said that there were WMDs and links to Al Qaida in Iraq, I trusted him. Now, I'm so scared that he'll be reelected. Here's is a link in which congress concludes that he misled America on many counts: http://www.fas.org/irp/congress/2004_cr/h031604.html.

Post what you think, especially if you saw the movie too. I'm home alone until tomorrow night :( And I'm so mad at psycho dog, but being mad about Iraq lessened it...even when he jumped onto the kitchen table and broke a glass and then grabbed my favorite high heeled shoe and ran around the house biting it! grr.

whew! This week was so much work! I woke up this morning at 5am to write a "personal choice question" for Education and Human Development. The funny thing is that it's really easy so far. So good news all you graduates- Wash U does prepare you for graduate school! I'm kind of sick of my schedule though...it reminds me of high school because I have the same classes every day with all the same people and we actually do the questions in our textbook at the end of each chapter! My pdq assignment was to choose one of the Minnesota Standards for Teaching and write a question about it. Well, as proof of my awesome undergrad education, I couldn't figure out what that meant for the longest time. I thought maybe it was a test of how creative we could be in analyzing the nuances of the concept. The standards are like "Teachers must listen and give feedback to students," etc. So I actually emailed the TA and she just told me to write a question! Finally, I chose standard 6.M: "the teacher must understand the culture and community of the students." My question was: "Why must the teacher understand the culture and community of the students." See how much like high school this is? When I turned in my last assignment with a footnote, the TA wrote "Excellent!!!" next to it. So this time I used 6. I'm sure it's going to get a lot harder soon though. Anyway, I'm in such a good mood because it's Thursday and I don't have class for three days! Tonight I'm going to go for a long walk with the dogs, then organize my aunt's refrigerator (which I'm really excited about because I can't stand how messy it is), and I'm going to sleep in tomorrow morning, do homework all day, then go see Farenheit 9/11 at the Mall of America! BTW, will someone please listen to Keane and tell me how it's so amazing! I need someone else in the world to have heard about them so I don't seem super-crazy.

You know that feeling of complete frustration and lack of control? I'm feeling it so much this weekend. It's making me so depressed that all of my family is on our reunion without me, and that feeling is compounded by the fact that I'm living alone in a city where I don't know anyone. Additionally, I'm dog-sitter for the most obnoxious and out of control black lab in the world! Grr. His name is Jack and he has to be crated all the time when he's in the house or he sprints around, eating or breaking things and knocking me down (he literally knocked me on my back and jumped on top of me yesterday). He also eats all of the other dog's food, which means he's eaten 2 kidney pills already today and I don't know what to do about that. I hate being away from my family when they're in such perfect memory-making mode; the last time we had a family reunion it started so many catch-phrases and was such a blast, and this time I'm the only one not there. OMG, I know I'm such a whiner, but I feel so desperately deserted with psycho-dog. So, I'm going to go work at Caribou coffee. Does anyone have advice about missing out? Oh, and I called my dad to wish him happy father's day and my mom had given him a present without telling me, so I had no idea when he thanked me for it. So he said, "Well, it's the thought that counts" sarcastically, which makes me feel like such a horrible daughter.

Every summer I fall in love with a new band. This summer it's... Keane. It's so so good and I listen to them so much that I kind of getting sick of some songs. But if you like Coldplay, then you'll love it! And, if you're one of the people who I forced to listen to Travis (like the SALTers), and you liked them, then you'll definitely like it. (BTW, did you guys like the mixes at all? I hope so!:))

More studying...yuck.
I started graduate school on Monday and so far it's pretty repetitive. I swear, one class in second language acquisition was enough! It's a joke with my family that I always end up hating everything I learn about the field I'm going into- I don't like Spanish Literature or music very much, and I hate cilantro:). But the reason that I don't like learning about second language acquistion in that I'm not studying for the scientific aspects; I just want to help children learn, especially those who always seemed to be overlooked. For everyone who reads this, please pity me a little bit, because I have class from 7:55am-4:30 every day except Friday- I really miss 5-day weekends.

On the other hand, I love living here because I can hug my baby cousins all the time! They're one year-old twins, a boy and a girl. I'm going to see if I can teach them sign language so they can communicate before they have the oral skills to speak.

Tomorrow, my entire extended family on my mother's side are going to Door County Wisconsin for our week-long family reunion. sigh.

ps-I saw the golden gopher mascot waiting for an elevator yesterday. Maybe it's a sign of good things to come!:)

My life is like a whirlwind...
My brother graduated from high school on Saturday, my family moved into our new house on Monday, and now I'm living at my Aunt's house in Minneapolis until I move into my own apartment on July 4th. Oh, and this monday graduate school starts!!
I think that this is the first time that I've been ready to leave my parents...as most people realized, I really wasn't ready when I went away to Washington University. I cried last night because I won't see my dad until September, but I think that maybe I was just so stressed out from this week. In every other respect, I'm so excited: my apartment looks nice (at least from the outside), I have intensive classes starting in a subject I'm actually interested in, and I get to see my cousins so much more!
So many people I know are doing amazing things right now too, so I can always bring myself down to Earth when I feel overwhelmed.
Anyway, I wanted to describe my parents' new house, because it's such an ironic move. Their first house (with me) was a gross, roach-infested, married-student apartment in Ann Arbor. Now 22 years later, when their youngest child is going away to college, they live in a five story townhouse on mainstreet! It's the most incredible location for a house in Ann Arbor and it's beautiful. Their are 7 flights of stairs (not floors, though) and they're actually hiring an interior decorator. I'm so happy for them and I hope that they have fun when John leaves, since it will be only the 10th month they'll have spent married without kids:)

I'm starting to think that no one reads my blog (or at least no one comments!). Last night I went to see Harry Potter at 12:01 am with my brother. It was so good! I think I liked it even better than the first two because it was more eerie. Alfonso Cuarón is much better at foreshadowing and flow than the first director...but I guess it's silly to analyze Harry Potter too much. I think I might reread all the books this summer.

Have you ever noticed that some of the most beautiful or wonderful things in the world are slightly imperfect...this is my "French" theory. I don't know if it really makes sense, but I think that French people understand that perfection is too sacchine and suffocates your imagination; when things are slightly bitter, frayed, dissonant, or bittersweet, it makes you create perfection for yourself. I think that Americans have a proclivity towards overconsumption because we're always satisfied with products, and then the desire for perfection must be constantly rekindled with new purchases. It's almost an addiction. If some people could accept imperfection, maybe repressing the need to buy would be the next step. I love the French (no freedom fries for me, please!)

Anyway, these are some imperfect things that I love:
1. Arizona Green Tea...it's kind of bland and tastes like watered-down honey, but I can imagine it being sweeter while I drink it.
2. "You Can Count on Me." OMG :) I love this movie because it portrays a character who's flawed and can't be changed, but his family accepts that and loves him anyway. And because I have a little brother, the last scene makes me cry, because I'm scared of that too, but it's a natural change that everyone has to endure.
3. My great grandma's ring...it was a graduation present. It's not beautiful, or what I would ask for in a ring, but it represents her immigration from Poland during World War I and her struggle in American society. And embraces something kind of chintzy-looking and making it a fashion statement is what French fashion is all about! So I put it on my gold cross necklace, so that I have my faith and my family heritage hanging near my heart.
4. Paintings by Paul Klee. He is my favorite artist because so many of his works show childlike innocense and distortion. Even though he can draw very well, he chooses to use the style to make you think and I love it! Especially "The Ventriloquist," the painting in my profile.

Have you embraced imperfection? Share a story!
-nicole