School's out for summer
How weird it is that I have 3 months of vacation starting Monday? As the last day of school drew near, I began reflecting on the year...

When did I get a job? It's been so fast. We all waved good-bye to the buses yesterday as they drove off. Most teachers clapped when they were gone, one cried because he was leaving for a new school, and I just relaxed my cheek muscles after a day of constant smiling. I'll miss those kids so much! One, who's moving this summer, just walked on by me at the end of the day, and I was like "Wait a minute, mister..." If any of them had been at all sad, I would have lost it and cried, but hey, they're 8 and the excitement of summer vacation is overwhelming.

I haven't made any very good friends at school. Some of them are really nice and fun to chat with there, but I always feel like joking around in the staff lounge and choosing specific people as friends is somewhat unprofessional (we're supposed to be a community of educators, anyway). At the end of the year party yesterday, I realized that I'm also a little bit different from most of the teachers my age, too. First, I was the absolute only person to bring wine. I couldn't open it, and I didn't think anyone would drink it besides myself, so I just left it there. Second, everyone was obsessed with these games, played with golf balls on ropes and "goals" built out of pvc piping. It was such a competitive game. Everyone was drinking beer, and one teacher even brought a bottle of whisky to pour into her coke can!

Public education is a struggle. It always will be until salaries increase, curriculum is either standardized or left alone, and the teaching profession becomes truly competitive. I am currently fighting to get a bigger classroom next year. As an ESL teacher who has small class sizes, my space in the school is the least of anyone's priorities. So, I was assigned to an office for next year! It's about the size of a walk-in closet, but I will be teacher about 60 students everyday in the room. There is no AC and it's right off a busy hallway. I'm arguing for the rights of my students, but in some ways the fight seems somewhat personal and self-serving as well. And what I have always hated about public education is the argumentative teachers, who are fighting for "their" rights. This profession needs to be free of self-interest, because eventually you'll talk yourself blue in the face and make everyone mad at you, and nothing will be accomplished. Everything has to be about the students. But, as a professional, I don't want to be in a 7x7 room for an entire year either. Sometimes I want to scream "I went to a good college, I almost have my Masters, and I could be making much more money doing almost anything else, so please give me some respect!" But then again, it can't be about me, because then I'm one of those teachers. I think this summer will be a much-needed break.

Oh, and finally, I will never never never live in the suburbs again. Just driving through them, with all the stadium-sized grocery stores and generic chain restaurants along sidewalk-free, litter-lined three-laned streets made my stomach contract and my throat feel dry. I hate being reliant on my car to get places, feeling trapped in a house in the center of a generic subdivision, and all those little trees that replaced the beautiful ones that were cut down for building!

Anyway, have a good summer!