I have nervous knots in my stomach...I'm like a pretzel.

Here is what Kerry needs to do tonight:
-Bring up the promises that Bush made during the last campaign, like that he would not send any troops into a war unless there were enough troops to win and there an exit plan. He would allow drugs to be imported into the country from Canada.
-Emphasize that Bush has no record to stand on.
-Explain his decision to vote against the $87 billion dollars and why his opinion has changed about Iraq.

It would be so very nice if Bush would make a mispronunciation of something important or have a freudian slip and say that he went into the war because Saddam Hussein tried to kill his father. I had an argument with Eric, from class today, who thinks that Bush will win no matter what because he has the most affective negative strategy...that no matter what, Bush will keep calling Kerry a flip-flopper and use misdirection to confuse people.

Okay. I'm going to cross everything and go eat cookies at the Debate party.
I'm going to do a follow-up tonight!

I was just in line at my new favorite coffee shop, when a man -who saw my Kerry pin- said to me "How can you like John Kerry? He's an awful, horrible man. George Bush is such a nice man." I couldn't think of anything to say...I was just staring at him in disbelief and embarassment, when it dawned on me: that's so stupid. So I said, "Wait, are you kidding?" And he smiled and laughed and said, "Of course!" I heart my neighborhood.

Oh my gosh...has anyone seen Extreme Makeover: Home Edition? It plays on my emotions so much! It's like watching the happiest day of a family's life; they definitely play up every sentimental angle. It makes me cry...and it's a reality show on abc! The designers left the widowed father's bible open on the desk next to the deceased mother's bible and they were both on the same page about eternal love. It's almost maudlin, but it's so compelling. Maybe tv executives will realize that the spontaneous moments of happiness and grief are much more beautiful than greed and betrayal (and a bunch of attention-needy people who are performing for a prize). I loved the moment at the Emmy's when Garry Shandling brought the two "normal" people onstage and unblindfolded their eyes and took off their headphones! And then they both started crying, and the man said that he respected all of the actors there, and the woman said "Hey, Matt LeBlanc." It was so fun!

Last night I slept on my cousin Maria's trundel bed...I made a deal with her that I would spend the night if she went to church with me today. I know that you can't bribe someone into religion- actually it was just because I don't like sitting alone. So we went together and it was fun...we colored the story of the rich man and Lazarus the whole time. I also found a new study spot!

Finally, I dyed (I just saw that typo and edited it. Honestly, how many people read that and thought, "how did Nicole ever get into Wash U?") my hair on Thursday night. It's dark brown with a faint auburn tint. I'm going to be Snow White for Halloween, now, so I just have to find a cute costume (I'm going to be student teaching in a bilingual kindergarten classroom, so that's Blancanieves to them!) Our group of future ESL teachers has started "Board game Thursdays"...we're such a wild and crazy bunch! It was really fun though- we played word games. And now I'm on the lookout for an economist of my own...tweed is hot, when a guy can pull it off.

Okay, watch the debate on Thursday! I'm going to a debate party...you know what Sammy Jo says, "I don't believe in the Republican party or the Democratic party, I just believe in parties." We all get really riled up about No Child Left Behind, though!

When the war with Iraq started last Spring, I listened to the song "Peace Train" by Cat Stevens over and over again. It's so optimistic and idealistic about spreading peace! (It's also super catchy). So I was really suprised yesterday to read that the artist formerly known as Cat Stevens was deported for being on a terrorist watch list.

"Yusuf Islam is perhaps one of the most widely known and respected personalities in the Muslim world. He has a long history of promoting peace and reconciliation and condemning terrorism," said Nihad Awad, executive director of CAIR.

Islam was the second high-profile Muslim in recent months to be barred entry to the United States. Swiss-based Islamic scholar Tariq Ramadan was prevented from taking up a lecturing post at Notre Dame University in Indiana in August after the U.S. authorities revoked his visa with no explanation.

CAIR said treating mainstream and moderate Muslims as terrorists sent the wrong message. "This does not help the war on terrorism, it just makes it harder," Awad told a news conference.

The incident prompted British Foreign Secretary Jack Straw to raise the issue in person with Secretary of State Colin Powell (news - web sites) at the United Nations (news - web sites) in New York.

"The foreign secretary raised the Cat Stevens incident with Colin Powell and expressed concern that this action should not have been taken," a British Foreign Office spokeswoman told Reuters in London.

Muslim groups in Britain also decried the deportation of Islam, who heads a trust that oversees Muslim schools in the country.

"This incident comes only to confirm the farcical and ultimately draconian standards and practices exercised by U.S. immigration authorities," said Anas Altikriti, a spokesman for the Muslim Association of Britain.

I hope that this will finally make the Patriot Act a point of debate. It's so easy to say "I am willing to give up some of "my" freedom for the sake of safety," but I have never been asked to. It's just so sad that a figurehead for peace in moderate Islam is being treated like a threat.


It's anti-American and I'm scared that it's going to create so many more problems.

Yesterday my brother came to visit. I picked him up at St. Olaf's, where I met his RA. He has Bush posters all around his door, so I was starting to write "Kerry '04" on his message board (as a joke) when he came out! It was really embarrassing- he was really cute (like all Republicans, it seems, except those in the government). Then we ate dinner at Johnny Rocket's Malt Shoppe...it's so sweet! Afterwards, we drove downtown to go to the Keane concert, but when we got to the club, the show had been cancelled. Grr. So we went to see Garden State at 10:10, and then I had to drive him back to school. I didn't get back until 2am. I'm a girl who needs her sleep...I couldn't get much done today because I'm so tired.

So it turns out that my brother is a joiner. I really didn't expect this at all! He called me back this evening and it was just like the phone call that Bridget Jones pretends to have.

Me: Hi, John.
John: Hahahaha. Oh, hi.
Me: What are you laughing about?
John: (Muffled talking. Room erupts in laughter). What?
Nicole: It's me! (yelling) Your sister!
John: Oh...hey! Yeah, I have to go. We're giving a girl pie for her birthday, then we've got to plan our radio show.
Nicole: You're doing a radio show?
John: Yeah. (Muffled talking) Um...yeah, me and two girls. It's like "John and his girls."
Nicole: Are you okay?
John: Yeah, okay, I've got to go...(Room erupts in laughter again).
Nicole: Okay, I love you, but you don't have to say it back (jokingly).
John: Haha. Yeah. Bye.

I can't believe that was my little brother! He's like a puppy off his leash. Apparently the nights of staying home with my parents and watching Masterpiece Theater was all a farce. He's now a ladies' man with a radio show and a dorm room full of people who laugh at everything he says. I was absolutely not prepared for him to be so happy and adjusted after two weeks. I was so worried, apparently for no reason at all.

Oooh, today I discovered that all lectures at the alumni center are catered by a gourmet italian restaurant and everything's free. I may just have to start going to lectures more often. Like every day after class.

There are many evils in this world and our country that I close my eyes to in order to remain happy. I pretend not to know that I'm eating actual animals (which is easy as long as they don't still have eyes), I overlook the fact that my car pollutes the environment, and I reinterate my lack of power as an excuse for not taking more initiative in helping others as much as I can. However, I think that America is becoming too numb to the conditions of war and I wish that would stop. It's one thing to ignore the environment, livestock, and volunteerism, but horrible things are happening in Iraq and the American people are starting to think of them as commonplace. Today in Faluja, our air force bombed a US army jeep by accident. The soldiers were evacuated safetly, but later some Iraquis jumped on the burning vehicle to celebrate. One local reporter was covering the action live nearby by camera, when he was killed by the American troops who decided that they couldn't leave the jeep, however damaged, for the insugents to pillage. His last words- "I'm dying"- were shown live on tv. Isn't there something supremely horrible about that? How can we liberate the Iraquis and destroy them at the same time? Why did the reporter die? There isn't a reason anymore that isn't somehow based on political spin and misdirection. He couldn't have died to remove Saddam from power, because Saddam is currently in prison. It couldn't have been because his government had powerful weapons because Secretary Powell said that none will ever be found. I think that killing in vain is murder and war is not an excuse, especially this one.

Yesterday I went on a shopping blitz through the Mall of America. I love it! There are over 400 stores and they're grouped by type. I bought the best pair of pants in the world at Rampage- they honestly feel like pajamas. Then I bought another at New York and Co. and a floral button-down shirt, a long brown skirt, a pink sweater, a fall jacket, and a gray pair of pants at Old Navy. My credit card is still hot... I must stop this.

After I finished one lap of the mall (which is about a mile), I went to see "Cellular." It's so good! Definitely a must-see popcorn movie...especially the scene in the cell phone store; that is completely something I would do (if, hypothetically, I ever use a gun to hold someone up).

Anyway, I had volunteered to do literature distribution today for Lydia Lee, who's running for school board in Minneapolis. Well, I arrived at the pick-up site at 10am this morning (after spending an hour desperately trying to get to Arthur Ave. NE, which deadends THREE times as you drive north) and they handed me literature about Diane Loeffler, who's running for State Rep. I was like, "hmm...I'm here to help Lydia Lee," and the woman giving me the literature said, "Well, I'm Diane Loeffler, thanks for helping." I was so duped into this and since I'm a pushover (or maybe charitable?), I did it anyway. It was a workout! 10 blocks where all the houses had at least 10 steps leading up to the front door, in the burning sun! I hope Diane Loeffler is actually a good candidate, because I had never heard about her until today. Actually, I don't even know what Lydia Lee supports: Scott Dibble, who I originally wanted to help run for State Senate, told me to volunteer for her. And people wonder why my age group is cynical about politicians! Though, I guess I can understand why politicians assume that their constituents are stupid and not paying attention to issues:)

**Challenge of the Day**
Please post your favorite joke(s)! I can never remember any (except the "na-CHO cheese" one) and I know that some ECM people know some good ones...remember the IHOP fat tuesday dinner? John, will you post some of yours too?

I love my parents so much. They're so kind and funny, and most importantly, we understand each other when we're together in a way that is hard to find outside of my family. First, we're all independent New Englanders. That means that we often either appear shy or arrogant, but it's only because the midwestern hyper-friendliness doesn't feel natural to us. Secondly, we usually do things ourselves instead of waiting for others to join us...it's not because we're shy though, it's just because we don't "need" people around to be happy. We want to make good friends, but we don't necessarily need them, so it's trickier. And, as New Englanders, we also hate mindless chit-chat. (I'm not a cranky old woman, honestly, it's just a state of mind!) We always end up having philosophical discussions about religion or politics. And I love how compassionate and dedicated they are: they're going to plan a mission trip together, since a doctor and a chemist are always needed; and my dad's going to organize a yearly family reunion for just the four of us, since John and I are both out of the house now.

Yesterday I was so confident when I said goodbye to them. I'm a graduate student, after all, and I have my own beautiful apartment and semi-loyal fish. But this day, the first of the fall semester, was so stressful and exhausting and...I miss my parents! I spent two hours this morning waiting in line to get my loan approved (so I can actually enroll in the classes I started today), but my number wasn't called before class, so I had to give up my space. Grr...I'm going to have to do that again all tomorrow morning. Anyway, then I went to class, which is with all the same girls (and one guy), but it was kind of annoying because everyone is so chatty all the time! I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I don't always enjoy the false "Oh my gosh, how were your past two weeks??!!! What didya do?" Everyone in my class is nice, but I grew up in the frigid mountains of New Hampshire where we just don't do that- unless you make sure the person has had their coffee. Then I went to buy my textbooks. Cha-ching! I carried all 50 pounds of them back to my car and then drove to the grocery store. When I have days like this, I should honestly stay out of all stores, since I'm in an altered state of contientiousness and spend wildly. I also eat really bad food. Like friend chicken and pringles for dinner.

I will be fine, though...it's just post-first-day jitters. My schedule is crazy too. When I first saw it, 1:25-4:25 four days a week, I thought it sounded like a breeze and maybe I could work a little. I realized today though, that those are only inclass hours; I also have about four hours of student teaching every day, probably in a distant suburb.

When my dad send me his pictures, I'll post them here- including me on the carny spinning torture ride at the state fair! It's just amazing how many foods can be eaten off a stick: hot dogs (obviously), corn, cheese, candy bars, pickles, jalepeños and cream cheese, and, my favorite, french toast. Maybe food just tastes better on a stick. I'm going to keep investigating.

I love my parents so much. They're so kind and funny, and most importantly, we understand each other when we're together in a way that is hard to find outside of my family. First, we're all independent New Englanders. That means that we often either appear shy or arrogant, but it's only because the midwestern hyper-friendliness doesn't feel natural to us. Secondly, we usually do things ourselves instead of waiting for others to join us...it's not because we're shy though, it's just because we don't "need" people around to be happy. We want to make good friends, but we don't necessarily need them, so it's trickier. And, as New Englanders, we also hate mindless chit-chat. (I'm not a cranky old woman, honestly, it's just a state of mind!) We always end up having philosophical discussions about religion or politics. And I love how compassionate and dedicated they are: they're going to plan a mission trip together, since a doctor and a chemist are always needed; and my dad's going to organize a yearly family reunion for just the four of us, since John and I are both out of the house now.

Yesterday I was so confident when I said goodbye to them. I'm a graduate student, after all, and I have my own beautiful apartment and semi-loyal fish. But this day, the first of the fall semester, was so stressful and exhausting and...I miss my parents! I spent two hours this morning waiting in line to get my loan approved (so I can actually enroll in the classes I started today), but my number wasn't called before class, so I had to give up my space. Grr...I'm going to have to do that again all tomorrow morning. Anyway, then I went to class, which is with all the same girls (and one guy), but it was kind of annoying because everyone is so chatty all the time! I'm sorry to be such a downer, but I don't always enjoy the false "Oh my gosh, how were your past two weeks??!!! What didya do?" Everyone in my class is nice, but I grew up in the frigid mountains of New Hampshire where we just don't do that- unless you make sure the person has had their coffee. Then I went to buy my textbooks. Cha-ching! I carried all 50 pounds of them back to my car and then drove to the grocery store. When I have days like this, I should honestly stay out of all stores, since I'm in an altered state of contientiousness and spend wildly. I also eat really bad food. Like friend chicken and pringles for dinner.

I will be fine, though...it's just post-first-day jitters. My schedule is crazy too. When I first saw it, 1:25-4:25 four days a week, I thought it sounded like a breeze and maybe I could work a little. I realized today though, that those are only inclass hours; I also have about four hours of student teaching every day, probably in a distant suburb.

There are a lot of important stories in the news today:
-The horrible hostage crisis in Russia (Ukraine?)
-Hurricane Frances
-President Clinton having heart surgery
It must be such a crazy day for President Bush...well, I guess only if the White House is actually run exactly like on The West Wing :)

I spent all this morning obsessively cleaning my apartment so that it's clean when my mom arrives (a swiffer wet-jet really is a girl's best friend)! I also continued my annoying streak of having anxiety attacks when I don't know where my family is, since I hadn't heard from my parents since before they left home yesterday afternoon. Car accidents still scare me more than anything, so I prayed all morning (while swiffering)- which now seems silly and paranoid, since my dad just called to tell me they're an hour away- but over the past 7 hours it helped so much.

So now I'm going to pray for the three situations above until my family arrives. I wonder if anything tragic or miraculous will happen today. I think that the British tradition of saying "God save the Queen" should be used in the United States instead of "God bless America." Most people pray that God would bless all nations and people. I think I'm going to pray for our leader for guidance and wisdom instead...God save the President.

"No dejaremos a ningún nino atrás." Hmm, it's been happening for four years!

Education is not a race to the finish line, Mr. President.

Maybe that's way millions of Hispanic high school graduates *in the state you governed* drop out of college before one year, since they have only been taught how to take a test.

(^My message to the President...everyone else can skip it. When he reads my blog, then he'll understand ;) )

My grandpa has almost the same cadence and intonation of President Bush, as well as the same mannerisms (although not the accent). That's why I do like the President...I would like to invite him to a barbeque and hear him tell jokes!
But how can we ignore a generation of public-schooled children?

I also don't think that starting an unending war, like another cold war, is a hopeful campaign for our country. Couldn't we address each terrorist cell individually and case specifically? Why haven't we found the Al Qaeda leaders yet, those who actually caused the largest act of terrorism in our country's history? I'm tired to being told to be afraid of the terrorists and to anticipate future terrorism. How can President Bush be at once so aww-schucks and attacking-without-question?

Are we really "the greatest force for good on this Earth"? Are we doing enough for victims of AIDS in Africa?

OMG! The terrorists don't hate our freedom! I don't think it's sour grapes. They hate our arrogance, our wealth and consumption in comparison to the rest of the world, and our lack of global cultural conscience.

I'm sorry I'm so consumed by the Republican National Convention...but I get knots of fear in my stomach when I think about George Bush winning another term.

I found a way to psych myself up (politically)...Listen to the speech by Barack Obama from the Democratic National Convention! It's just too easy to become apathetic, especially since both candidates are now flip-flopping AND my grandma keeps calling me and telling me that I need to "make up my own mind" and "not just vote the way my parents do." Bottom line: she wants me to vote Republican. Good grief. My parents have never indoctrined me with set ideals. But I bought the speech from itunes and now I can listen to it whenever I need a political boost!

My parents and my brother arrive tomorrow to deliver John to St. Olafs. Some alums who are in my Masters program have explained that "dry campus" actually means "very-very-wet, but-secretive-about-it campus." I have to keep reminding myself that he's no longer the little boy who labeled everything in our house with permenant markers!

ps-Is anyone else watching (or did anyone watch) Zell Miller's speech at the RNC? Wowza..."He's not a slick talker but he's a straight shooter." I hope no one votes based on that trait! I finally looked up John Kerry's voting on the $87 million for troops, and he didn't flip flop at all. The president made last minute changes which Kerry had said he wouldn't support. This all makes me so heated up. It's time for orange sherbet.