Monday, March 28, 2005

Woo-hoo! c(: )
That's a cowboy smiley face, in liu of the fact that I'm off to the lone star state tomorrow night!

Here's my plan:
Get some free textbooks, pass out some résumés, shake hands, eat tasty free food, listen to kicky country music, buy a cowboy hat, get a tan, and meet a cowboy. Okay, expecially meet a cowboy.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

OMG...I have no idea how anyone finished this paper! I've been writing and writing and writing and it's so boring and I still haven't finished. I'm determined to finish it tonight, even if it's horrible. Now, I know how to write a paper since I wrote many at Wash U. But this is a technical paper- I have to connect and rewrite all aspects of my teaching, applying theory and cite books and journals. I'm putting myself to sleep:)!!

So, here's my question:
When have you given up on a paper and just turned it in? What kind of paper can't you write because it's so dull?

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Mid-week update with Nicole:

-My dad finished his mosaic commemorating the 50th anniversary of the assassination of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. He said that the grouting made all the difference and my mom is going to allow it to be displayed in the house. If you can tell me something more bizarre than that, I'll send you a postcard from Minnesota.

-My 40-something page paper was due on Tuesday. Right now it looks like I'll be done by Monday.

-My hair is grows freakishly fast. Honestly. I died it auburn less than two weeks ago and my roots are already a centimeter long.

-Is a computer program like Flash really a timesaver in teaching? I propose not, since it will take me years to understand why I can delete everything by touching one button (and to remember which button that is).

-I'm going to a national conference next week in Texas. I keep forgetting! I get to miss three days of class AND I will get tons of free books on ESL. I hope I can also, somehow, get a tan and meet a cowboy.

-The days of Starbucks are back. I spent five hours there today...it reminded me of college days;)

-I'm really tired of the news cycle right now. It's like a double scoop of depression. Can we please have some debate about a positive issue? Here's the topic: which political party can cure cancer first?

-I'm addicted to Lindt truffles.

-I'm semi-ashamed to say that I've been watching American Idol while I study. The singers are so good, though! I'm partial to Anthony and Nadia. The girl from the farm is so toothpaste commercial.

-If you read this and you happen to see a job listing for an elementary ESL teacher in your area, please tell me. I'm open to moving anywhere! And I'm a girl who needs options.

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Since I still have 45 minutes until class starts and I don't feel like working anymore, I'm going to write about the bizarre dream I had last night. It is really starting to creep me out as I continue to think about it.

Okay, I'm pregnant. I'm having Joshua Lyman's baby (think West Wing). He's bouncing around in the cute, frenetic way he always does, suggesting obsurd names for our baby. I shoot them all down, because I've known what I've wanted to name a baby for the past 5 years (in reality, too). So I give him my speech about why the only choices are Odette Magdalen and Tate Henry. Then we're at a completely existential hostpital: there are no numbers on the doors and no one is there but us, lost, roaming through the halls, looking for a doctor because my water has broken. Then suddenly, I'm looking down at a surreal amusement park on a pier and flying over it as I get closer to a modern, white house on the edge of a cliff. Then the scene jumps to a basement. I'm alone and I give birth to a Life cereal box. I open the box and inside is the baby, but it's made of glass and instead of a heart, there is cream of wheat. And then I start to cry quietly because that means my baby is dead.

What could that possibly mean? I don't think that all dreams mean something, but I know that they're reflective of the ideas that are in one's subconscious during the waking day. Well, I've been watching a lot of the West Wing, but nothing else is vaguely familiar or relevant to my life right now. One of my biggest fears, though, is an unhealthy baby. But, honestly, I'm only 23 and I can't even find a man. Before I got out of bed, I tried to im imagine opening the box and finding a living baby (I always try to rewrite bad dreams), but I couldn't. I'm not sad about it...I feel kind of numb and depressed by the whole idea, though.

Has anyone ever had a prophetic dream? Or one that was creepy but meant nothing at all? Please comment:)

Monday, March 21, 2005

So this week it became obvious to me that my family solves a disaster with comfort food. I had three nights of Easter-sized meals that left me feeling incredible carbed (my new verb) and lazy. And guess what? I have a 40 page paper due tomorrow! It's such a good thing that I asked for an extension until Friday because I've only written 5 pages so far. But, I could definitely pull something like that off when I was at Wash U, so why am I worrying, right? Well, this (graduate school) feels just a little bit more professional and, yikes, important to my future. So I'm nervous. I rented all of season 3 of the West Wing because I can't work in silence or with music. If I do that, I get completely up in my head and have a semi-nervous/existential crisis like those I had at Starbucks last year (some of you guys were there...it wasn't pretty and I was spending hundreds on frappucchinos). Anyway, season three is sooo good. I'm just feeling kind of sick of school. I mean, I haven't lived real-life yet. I can't believe that my mom and dad both stayed in school until they were 30- that's crazy! At least I'll be done this summer. I'm thinking about getting a job in the East, like New York State or New England. I miss quaint colonial references, clapboard houses, the ocean, and the quiet social reservation. The Midwest really feels isolating sometimes because we're so stuck in the middle of all of the land.

Saturday, March 19, 2005











The Liberal Beauty



You scored 89 looks, 71 personality, and 26 politics!
You're beautiful and you have a great personality. You're a liberal with your views and you don't put morals before everything. You're probably a great wife or girlfriend, and you know how to make sure that the ones you love are happy. You're probably fun in a conversation and I'm sure that you are as loveable as you are beautiful.





Don't Forget to Take My Other 2 Tests



The Music (Rock That Is) Test



http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=8460139144648302003



The One Question Test


http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=10194224782000446693











My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender
:
























You scored higher than 61%
on Appearance









You scored higher than 9%
on Personality









You scored higher than 6%
on Beliefs










Link: The What Kind of Girl are You Test written by ramonaaronperez on Ok Cupid

Friday, March 18, 2005

Tonight, I was planning on watching my favorite Disney movies with my cousins. It was going to be a double feature of "The Sword in the Stone" and "Robin Hood" (my absolute favorite is Beauty and the Beast, but I couldn't believe that I found the other two at my video store!). Well, my cousins had to go to a talent show, so I ended up watching "Before Sunrise" with my grandparents;) Needless to say, they added a hilarious running commentary, a lot of which involved me yelling explanations at my grandpa because he refuses to turn up his hearing aid. This is a typical conversation:
"How's your hearing aid working, grandpa?"
"What?"
At least he saw the humor in that after he turned it up.

But during the movie, there's a scene when the two characters are lying in the park at night and kissing.
My grandma: "They better not do what I think they're going to do. The police will get 'em!"

After the male character says "We don't have to have sex tonight, it's not important..."
My grandpa: "That's what he thinks."

The best part about my grandparents is that they play up these funny comments just for laughs (the same way I pretend to not know about sports just to annoy my dad).

Okay, here's my favorite grandparentism :)
After the couple in the movie wake up and leave the park in the morning:
My grandpa: "Well, that must have been damp."

Thursday, March 17, 2005

I have so much due next week, I might just pull my newly colored hair out! Grr. You would think that teachers that share an office would know what they're both assigning huge assignments to be due the same week. My grandparents are here now, though, which adds to my daily guilt (and fun, too! :) ) because they always seem sad when I can't attend every meal with them. They are a barrel of laughs too, though, especially now that my grandma has a cane that she can poke people with.

In other news, my little brother is heading to New Mexico tomorrow with girl who I honestly think will play with his emotions to no end. I went through that during college and I really don't want him too. Suddenly he's drinking too, which scares me...well, you guys know how paranoid I am!

I'm finally getting used to the split. I'm going to see my Aunt's new house tomorrow- I hope she lets me help decorate! I'm all about blue carpet...it's quite soothing, doncha' know?

I wish I was doing something tres exciting for St. Patrick's Day...I had a glass of water with Jenny and Jake- that's all I have time for! Hmm...the upcoming holidays are equally important, clothing-wise (not to diminish their importance, religion-wise): two chances to wear springtime heels to church without looking completely out of place.

Monday, March 14, 2005

My emotions are like a sponge: I can be filled up or left to dry, twisted or squeezed beyond any semblance of my original form. I tend to take on people's problems as my own and feel their pain; it's like uncontrolable, unproductive empathy and pathos. Every week I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and cry because those people have overcome so much and now they have central heating! And Jon Mellancamp is playing a concert in their new barn! It's a little bit pathetic.

Anyway, this week has been extremely difficult. My Aunt and Uncle are getting a divorce, which was just announced last Saturday. In a month, my Aunt is moving out of their house and my Uncle will sell it and find another one too. Everyone in my family is completely shocked, stunned, and feeling beaten. My Aunt decided to declare, last week, that she is of a different orientation and that she has always known it. My Uncle is crushed- he had no idea whatsoever and it turns out that their marriage was a lie. Now their family, including the cutest and fomerly happiest children in the world, are being wrenched apart, creating huge, painful wounds. And I just can't cope with all of the pain. Both of them first turned to me to take care of the kids when they (my aunt or uncle) was feeling overwhelmed. I've been told secrets that I never wanted to know, I've been used as an anger buffer, and I've been made a confidant of one side when I don't really think that I should be anything but neutral. I've even been asked to distract the children from their parents' crying. And my heart is breaking for my cousins because I can see the confusion in their eyes. I want to help, I need to help, but I won't be any help to anyone if I take on their suffering.

I'm so so so relieved that my grandparents come tomorrow. As my Dad said, "They will bring even more problems with them," but at least they'll lay down the law, so to speak, and try to fix the mess. I honestly don't have enough (I mean "any") experience with divorce and children, so I'm hopeless.

As much as I'm feeling twisted today, at least I know what comfort really is...
Comfort is: laying on the leather couch in my parents living room, with my cat, a cup of earl grey tea, and a good book.
Also, knowing that someone is taking care of me just as much as I'm taking care of other people.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

I've been reading lots of blogs about upcoming Spring Break plans, so I actually started thinking about what I'm going to do next week. Yay vacation:
-help my Aunt move into a new house, help my uncle find a new house
-finish my curriculum unit 40 page paper
-work on my Portfolio, a mazillion page binder full of ever possible example of my teaching (we're even advised to make things up if we don't have enough)
-work on my computer tech website...Java still makes no sense to me at all

Okay, that was a pretty cynical and sarcastic list, but that's just because I don't have time to "break." However, my two weeks at home in April will be so much fun! Here's the list for that vacation:
-Try to meet Michael Phelps (he lives next door to my parents)
-shop at my favorite store...it's all beautiful imports from Latin American countries
-Make an amazing ECM alum newsletter- I love making things with fun fonts! Be prepared, because I'm excited to make it look nice
-Visit my cousins
-Meet one of my high school friend's fiance. He's a secret fiance (her parents are very conservative Indian-Americans) which makes it more exciting & romantic
-Live off my Dad's pocket money
I haven't been "home" since Thanksgiving...I miss having someone take care of me.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Something happened in my extended family that I can't explain and I don't really understand. There are some situations, like this, for which there isn't a set formula for how to help or what to do. It's strange because just last week I was thinking that my life was too easy now that my student-teaching placement is over. That annoying voice started in my head, saying that something bad might happen soon. And then it did. Actually, it's been happening for a while, but everyone chose to refrain from telling me until after my birthday. When I first heard, I laughed and actually said "mom, you're joking!" ...there was absolutely no way it was true. Well, it is. It is a bad thing because many people feel devastatingly sad right now. On the other hand, I guess it was bound to happen. The only good thing about this is that it's pulling my extended family together. My grandma called today, with a little catch in her throat and sounding agressively cheerful. She said "Hi. Well, our family is just full of surprises, isn't it! Just when you think you've heard it all!"

If you read this, please pray for my extended family (this doesn't involve anyone in my immediate family). No one is sick and we're all still together, but there are going to be many painful changes in the next few months.
Oh my gosh...look out! I've seen so many movies.

- bold the ones you've seen
- italicize the ones you've seen part of
- put an * next to the ones you actually liked
- add three to the end

01. Night at the Roxbury
02. Shrek *
03. M
04. Dogma*
05. Strictly Ballroom*
06. The Princess Bride*
07. Love, Actually
08. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring*
09. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers *
10. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King *
11. Reservoir Dogs
12. Desperado
13. Swordfish
14. Kill Bill, Vol. 1
15. Donnie Darko*
16. Spirited Away
17. Better Than Sex
18. Sleepy Hollow
19. Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of The Black Pearl *
20. The Eye
21. Requiem for a Dream
22. Dawn of the Dead
23. The Pillow Book
24. The Italian Job
25. Goonies*
26. Basketball
27. The Spice Girls Movie
28. Army of Darkness
29. The Color Purple
30. The Saftey of Objects
31. Can't Hardly Wait
32. Mystic Pizza
33. Finding Nemo *
34. Monsters Inc. *
35. Circle of Friends*
36. Mary Poppins*
37. The Bourne Identity
38. Forrest Gump
39. A Clockwork Orange
40. Kindergarten Cop
41. On The Line
42. My Big Fat Greek Wedding*
43. Final Destination
44. Sorority Boys
45. Urban Legend
46. Cheaper by the Dozen
47. The Crow
48. The Princess and the Warrior*
49. Seabiscuit*
50. Hard Core Logo
51. Phantom of the Paradise
52. Zardoz
53. Lost in Translation *
54. American Beauty*
55. Big Fish*
56. Starship Troopers
57. Starship Troopers
58. The Lost Boys
59. All About Eve
60. Showgirls
61. Swept Away
62. Star Wars: A New Hope
63. Black Hawk Down
64. Elizabeth
65. The Shawshank Redemption
66. Four Weddings and a Funeral*
67. The Sound of Music*
68. Notting Hill*
69. Scotland, PA*
70. Oxygen
71. Ringu
72. Shrunken Heads
73. Legends
74. About a Boy*
75. Lilo and Stitch*
76. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
77. Pitch Black
78. Maid in Manhattan
79. Willow
80. Secret Of Nymh
81. Thoroughly Modern Millie
82. The Cutting Edge
83. Anna and the King
84. The American President*
85. Save The Last Dance*
86. Grease *
87. Dirty Dancing*
88. Mad Love
89. Lantana
90. Kiss the Sky
91. Braveheart*
92. Dark City
93. SLC Punk
94. Memento
95. In America*
96. Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory*
97. The Wedding Planner
98. Empire Records*
99. Edward Scissorhands*
100. Almost Famous*
101. Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie
102. Star Trek Generations
103. Beyond The Mat
104. Transformers: The Movie
105. Scary Movie
106. X-Men
107. Ghost
108. Changing Lane
109. Hangman's Curse
110. Broken Arrow
111. Mona Lisa Smile*
112. Moulin Rouge *
113. The Ninth Gate
114. Emma*
115. The Name of the Rose
116. Top Gun*
117. Heartbreak Ridge
118. U-57
119. Ghost Ship
120. Johnny English
121. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights* (I know, but it had Diego Luna!)
122. The Fifth Element
123. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban*
124. Holes
125. The Pianist
126. Amelie *
127. Road Trip
128. Miracle
129. Center Stage*
130. Spider-Man
131. Exorcist
132. Omen
133. 8 Mile*
134. Son in Law
135. Stepmom
136. Dr. Strangelove
137. Full Metal Jacket
138. Lolita
139. Little Shop of Horrors
140. Annie*
141. Rocky Horror Picture Show
142. Being John Malkovich
143. Monty Python & the Holy Grail
144. Street Fighter Alpha: The Movie
145. Under the Tuscan Sun
146. The Four Feathers
147. Gosford Park*
148. Bubble Boy
149. Without a Paddle
150. Labyrinth *
151. Shrek 2 *
152. Spider-Man 2*
153. X-Men 2
154. Ever After*
155. Great Expectations
156. Orgazmo
157. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
158. The Matrix*
159. Underworld
160. Anchorman
161. Leon: The Professional
162. The Cooler
163. Head (1969)
164. Bridget Jones's Diary*
165. Albino Aligator
166. Chasing Amy
167. The Usual Suspects
168. The Shape of Things
169. 13 Conversations About One Thing
170. Hero
171. Rules of Attraction
172. I (heart) Huckabees*
173. Farenheit 9/11*
174. Akira
175. Garden State*
176. Ghost in the Shell
177. Kissing Jessica Stein
178. Sailor Moon: Super S
179. Adaptation
180. Punch Drunk Love
181. Mulan
182. Napoleon Dynamite
183. Pleasantville*
184. Rat Race
185. Blue Crush
186. In Good Company
187. 13 Going on 30*
188. Elf*
189. Life Is Beautiful *
190. Cruel Intentions
191. Princess Mononoke
192. Mallrats
193. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind *
194. Fight Club *
195. Phantom of the Opera
196. First Knight
197. Alexander
198. Real Genius
199. Secretary
200. Quills
201. Detroit Rock City
202. Beetlejuice
203. Thirteen
204. Trainspotting
205. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
206. Weird Science
207. Mean Girls *
208. The Bourne Supremecy*
209. Dodgeball
210. Meet the Parents
211. Meet the Fockers
212. Troy *
213. Saw
214. The Passion of the Christ
215. Ray
216. Collateral
217. Coach Carter
218. Assault on Precinct 13
219. Hitch
220. Finding Neverland
221. National Treasure
222. Million Dollar Baby
223. Cellular*
224. The Terminal
225. Mr. 3000
226. Head of State
227. Blue Streak
228. National Security
229. Rush Hour
230. Rush Hour 2
231. Shanghai Noon
232. Shanghai Knights
233. XXX
234. The Fast and the Furious
235. 2 Fast 2 Furious
236. The Last Samurai
237. Van Helsing
238. Ocean’s Eleven*
239. Ocean’s Twelve
240. Men in Black*
241. Men in Black II
242. I, Robot
243. Harold and Kumar go to White Castle
244. Zoolander
245. Rose Red
246. The Silence of the Lambs
247. Hannibal
248. Red Dragon
249. Prophecy trilogy
250. Interview with the Vampire
251. Queen of the Damned
252. Pi
253. Ichi The Killer
254. Suspiria
255. Spun
256. A Beautiful Mind*
257. Nightmare Before Christmas
258. The Butterfly Effect
259. White Noise
260. Alone in the Dark
261. The Aviator
262. American Psycho
263. Die Hard
264. Die Hard 2
265. Die Hard with a Vengeance
266. Batman*
267. Batman Returns*
268. Batman Forever*
269. Batman & Robin
270. Resident Evil
271. Resident Evil: Apocalypse
272. What's Eating Gilbert Grape?
273. Blade
274. Blade II
275. Blade: Trinity
276. The Blues Brothers
277. Blues Brothers 2000
278. Ghostbusters*
279. Ghostbusters 2*
280. Clue*
281. Raiders of the Lost Ark
282. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
283. Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade*
284. Street Fighter
285. Super Mario Brothers
286. Gremlins
287. Gremlins 2
oops! I deleted a few
291. Superman II
292. Superman III
293. Superman IV
294. South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut
295. Beavis & Butt-head Do America
296. Ed Wood
297. Donnie Brasco
298. Pulp Fiction
299. Face/Off
300. Con Air
301. Mission: Impossible *
302. MI:2
303. Escape from Alcatraz
304. Speed*
305. Speed 2
oops!
308. The Godfather Part II
309. The Godfather Part III
310. Manhunter
311. UHF
312. Mortal Kombat
313. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
314. Saving Private Ryan
315. The Relic
316. Enemy at the Gates
317. Home Alone *
318. Home Alone 2
319. Home Alone 3
320. Home Alone
321. Happy Gilmore *
322. Billy Madison *
323. The Waterboy
324. Little Nicky
325. Dirty Work
326. Tommy Boy
327. Black Sheep
328. Death Wish
329. Pecker
330. Cecil B. Demented
331. The Shining
332. Carrie
333. Pet Sematary
334. Pet Sematary Two
335. The Terminator
336. Terminator 2
337. Terminator 3
338. Ned Kelly
339. Kate & Leopold
340. Mystic River*
341. I Am Sam
342. Joan of Arc (Leelee Sobieski)
343. 50 First Dates
344. Atilla
345. Timeline
346. Titanic*
347. Reign of Fire
348. Legends of the Fall
349. The Mask of Zorro
350. Rudy *
351. Signs
352. The Village
353. Gladiator*
354. The Bumblebee Flies Anyway.
355. The War
356. Gothika
357. Se7en
358. Hairspray
359. Love Me If You Dare/Jeux d'enfants
360. Maria Full of Grace
361. Vampire Clan
362. Once Upon A Time in Mexico
363. A Soldier’s Girl
364. Ong – Bak: Thai Warrior
365. The Man Who Cried
366. Some Like It Hot
367. The Sleeping Dictionary
368. Lola Rennt (Run Lola Run)
369. Sideways
370. Steel Magnolias
371. Bend it Like Beckham*
372. Tombstone
373. The Girl Next Door
374. Now and Then
375. Muppet Christmas Carol*
376. Little Women*
377. Romeo + Juliet*
378. Shakespeare in Love*
379. Shawn of the Dead
380. Cinema Paradiso*
381. The Motorcycle Diaries*
382. You Can Count On Me*

Sunday, March 06, 2005

It's Springtime! And I'm a strawberry blond.

Friday, March 04, 2005

Alright. I spent the last 8 weeks student-teaching in a high school. I thought it would be unprofessional to write about it until I was done. Well, today was my last day, so now you get to hear all the hair-ripping-out details:) yay!

To begin with, my cooperating teacher didn't feel the need to teach me anything. She instead felt that the "sink or swim," "trial and error" approach was better. So I would create all the materials and lessons plans by myself (which is incredibly time-consuming when you have nothing to start with). Then, she would tell me all of the things I was doing wrong and I would redo the entire thing...over and over and over.

This school had a lot of tough and troubled students, too. Some were under house-arrest, pregnant, dealing drugs, and gang members. Since they had so many problems, many of them had absolutely no interest in school (which I completely understand). Everything turned into classroom management issues! I had to go through all of my past readings and create my own classroom management strategy -poof!- out of nowhere, since the teacher didn't give me much advice.

The most horrible part of the placement, though, was the fact that she wouldn't tell me I was doing things "wrong" for about a week after I started doing it. When I sat on a desk one Monday and she apparently saw my underwear, she emailed my graduate school advisor that I was "flashing students." OMG! She didn't tell me until a week later that my advisor might think that I'm a pervert/unfit to teach. So I had to clean up that mess...and that kind of thing happened two more times. Finally, all of the head professors of my grad program met with me to discuss her concerns with my teaching. I was sooo scared that they would grill me and kick me out of the program (at that time I thought that maybe my cooperating teacher was right, maybe I was a miserable teacher). But once I had explained everything, they completely agreed with me! Yay and haha (sorry, but I have some built up spite);)!! So today I was respectful, but I got out of there as soon as I could. I feel like having a party!

Reasons for a party:
No more daily interactions with people who could ruin my career by making up scandalous lies about me!
My classes at the U will start at 1:25pm everyday until May!
I'm 23 tomorrow!
I have 3 weeks of vacation in the next two months!
I'm going to Camp Snoopy with my all my MN relatives tomorrow!
I bought myself a Tibetan aquamarine ring for my birthday!
Okay, I'm running out of extremely exciting things...whew. :)

I'm so excited for March- happy spring everyone