My emotions are like a sponge: I can be filled up or left to dry, twisted or squeezed beyond any semblance of my original form. I tend to take on people's problems as my own and feel their pain; it's like uncontrolable, unproductive empathy and pathos. Every week I watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and cry because those people have overcome so much and now they have central heating! And Jon Mellancamp is playing a concert in their new barn! It's a little bit pathetic.

Anyway, this week has been extremely difficult. My Aunt and Uncle are getting a divorce, which was just announced last Saturday. In a month, my Aunt is moving out of their house and my Uncle will sell it and find another one too. Everyone in my family is completely shocked, stunned, and feeling beaten. My Aunt decided to declare, last week, that she is of a different orientation and that she has always known it. My Uncle is crushed- he had no idea whatsoever and it turns out that their marriage was a lie. Now their family, including the cutest and fomerly happiest children in the world, are being wrenched apart, creating huge, painful wounds. And I just can't cope with all of the pain. Both of them first turned to me to take care of the kids when they (my aunt or uncle) was feeling overwhelmed. I've been told secrets that I never wanted to know, I've been used as an anger buffer, and I've been made a confidant of one side when I don't really think that I should be anything but neutral. I've even been asked to distract the children from their parents' crying. And my heart is breaking for my cousins because I can see the confusion in their eyes. I want to help, I need to help, but I won't be any help to anyone if I take on their suffering.

I'm so so so relieved that my grandparents come tomorrow. As my Dad said, "They will bring even more problems with them," but at least they'll lay down the law, so to speak, and try to fix the mess. I honestly don't have enough (I mean "any") experience with divorce and children, so I'm hopeless.

As much as I'm feeling twisted today, at least I know what comfort really is...
Comfort is: laying on the leather couch in my parents living room, with my cat, a cup of earl grey tea, and a good book.
Also, knowing that someone is taking care of me just as much as I'm taking care of other people.