Blessings and Changes...
I am so blessed by the generosity of my family! Today was John and my combined graduation party; it was at Bucca de Beppo, a completely outrageous sicilian-themed restaurant (hint that it's over-the-top: one table has a bust of the pope in the middle of the lazy susan). Anyway, we had an entire room for all 25 of us and it was so much fun! Our two sets of grandparents haven't been together for so long (and we really blessed to still have four grandparents too). My brother decoded his placemat like in "A Beautiful Mind" and I couldn't stop laughing. And we both received so many wonderful presents. My absolute favorite I wasn't allowed to mention at the party though---Sex and the City, Season 6 on DVD! It's the best kind of tv because it's funny like fluff shows, but it's also smart. And on the stupid side, I got the Dessert perfume I asked for. It actually tastes really good.


I got the chocolate one.

In terms of changes, I just realized how much one of my friends has changed since we were in high school. We used to get along really well, and now she always cancels because of random things (like sleeping in and missing a sit-down lunch and not caring), and only talks about herself and shopping for wildly extravagant purses. In the past, she's last-minute cancelled so much that my mom said that she (my mom) would have been surprised if she had shown up today. I'm so happy that I still have all my other high school friends...and I can't wait to make more in Minneapolis! Oh, good news too- I finally have an apartment!! I don't have the address yet, but I'll send out an update when I do.


ps- (5 hours later) I just discovered that when I can't sleep and am starving, but feel too lazy to walk downstairs and get a midnight snack, the chocolate-flavored perfume becomes irresistible! Is there anything more absurd than being so lazy that I'm sitting in bed, and spraying and licking my hand? It's SUCH a good thing that I'm starting school again in two weeks!

In celebration of three weeks off between class, I'm making another fun entry! These are the top five places in the world where I want to go:

5. The Pyramids at Gaza...has anyone read the Bill & Pete books? I love the one about the field trip down the nile and I've always wanted to go there.



4. Buenos Aires. I wanted to study abroad in Argentina, but then the economy collapsed. It would be so much fun for mardi gras!



3. Moscow. The clash between the feudal/aristocratic past and the struggles of the present is so interesting.



2. Tokyo. I love Japanese culture! I'm all about Salmon Sashimi:)



1. The Loire Valley

Chenonceau


Fontainbleau


Chambord


Blois


I was in Tours last spring, but that was the horrible part of my trip when my debit card stopped working and I had to offer to wash dishes at the hostel to pay for my room!

Post your top 5 too! I want to hear where other people want to travel (or if you've been to any of my top 5, what were they like?)

I just spent two and a half hours at my brother's senior honors ceremony and I started daydreaming about my favorite places in the world.
These are the top five:

5. Balch Hill, overlooking Hanover, NH

I don't know who these people are, though!

4. Mount Cardigan, NH

Cute dog.

3. The Shakespeare & Co. bookstore, in Paris

There's a poltergeist that thows books on your head...or so they told me.

2. Oxford, UK
I miss you!


Go here for a fix of British poshness and stuffy academia! (haha, that sounds like sooo much fun- it actually is!)

1. My grandparents old house, on Kalamazoo Avenue in Marshall, Michigan. I used to pretend I was the maid who lived in their secret room under the main staircase.


(Okay, that's not actually it, but it's on the same street! I couldn't find a photo of their house on the internet. Think narrower and less hawaiian, with more trees and a sculpture of a schnauzer in the front yard!)

This painting is pretty...that's all:)

"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Anonymous

Yesterday was graduation and I'm already at home. My family couldn't go to the last party, where most of my friends would be, but I think I also resisted because I didn't want to say goodbye. Elizabeth Bibesco wrote "It is never good dwelling on good-byes. It is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting." I was so blessed to have this time at college and to meet the amazing people which I did, and I didn't want to hug anyone and consider that it might be the last time. I know I'll keep in touch with them, as much as I can.

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos."
--Charlie Brown


I also don't feel sad yet...my life is moving too quickly now for me to stop and think about leaving St. Louis...I start graduate school in three weeks! At the graduation service, most of the seniors burst into tears and I felt horrible that I wasn't feeling sad at all. It felt dreamlike and silly, because I haven't lived without that community for so long, and there won't be an end to our connection. The people and memories will always be a part of me.

"You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again"
--Tom Petty

I missed saying goodbye to so many friends! I'm so sorry you guys...I really wanted to be at home for the service. Please keep in touch!! My email address will stay the same. It's kind of funny, I missed all of senior week too, and I don't really mind. I guess I'm just not Susie Spirit.

This weekend I went home again. My parents didn't want me to come at first because it's only a week until graduation, but I told them that I wanted to go to my great-grandma's funeral. And it the whole weekend was amazing, mostly in the way that it brought us all together and showed how strong we are. On Saturday, there was a memorial service at her nursing home. The "memorial coordinator" there, at Friendship Village, told me that she does one of them a week, and I tried to be happy for her, because it is something to keep people busy and eating cake. I told her that it must be a really rewarding line of work and she agreed. My first cousin once removed Sara ran the service (she's a congregational minister) and different people in my extended family took turns doing readings. I told a story about how I always called her "Grandma" because the "great" made it too long to say over and over; and she used to say, "Nicole, I'm not just a grandma, I'm a GREAT grandma." No one cried very much during the service because it was mostly happy memories, and also, I think, because there were strangers there. I spend 20 minutes afterwards talking to a man who knew me but I had no clue who he was! He told me all about how his son owns the Frito-Lays corn fields in Mexico and that he could send me there because he's highly involved in Rotary. Before he left, he told me to call him...I had to ask around, but I finally realized that it was Mr. Mindzinger, who is my grandparents best friend! I thought he was just a nursing home man.

The burial was like something out of a movie. My dad hates it when I compare life to movies, as though art influences life to any extent at all. But it wasn't that we acted like charicatures, it was that I never realized how emotional a situation can make you and that movie scenes are more realistic than I used to believe. Anyway, I had to sit next to my Great-Grandma on the way to the burial because she was in a box in between my grandma and I (he sweetly put the armrest down after I screamed when I first saw it). After church, the pastor climbed out a window into the memorial garden and put the box in the ground. Then he read a poem by Tennyson. I started crying first, but mostly because I kept thinking "great grandma's in that box" and it was so bizarre. But then, suddenly, everyone starting crying...we were in a hallway, next to the coffee-hour atrium, and we all huddled in a big hug and kept crying: it was me, my grandma, my aunts Emily, Alison, and Jennifer, my mom, and my grandpa with his arms around us. It helped me to stop crying to see everyone together like that, because we all knew what the other was missing. I realized that Great Grandma was alreay in heaven (and was probably already being told, "Yes, Roberta, we've heard that story before"), and she was probably pleased that we all missed her so much still. And we're all so supportive of each other, which I think it very rare, and so we're lucky too. Our circle of grief broke up as quickly as it was formed, as my grandma went to find out where my great grandpa was (in the memorial garden), my grandpa packed up the spades, and my mom and I went to chat-up the handsome pastor (very Harrison Ford meets Colm Feore). And then I was driven right to the airport and flew back to St. Louis.

I think that my Great Grandma still lives on in my family in so many ways. My grandma repeats stories now (always fun), my grandpa refuses to wear his hearing aid and we all yell, and I'm going to be a teacher, just like she was (although it made her professionally well respected in the community and that's yet to be seen by me today). I'm here because she started a family in the 1930's with Clifton Beaver. She had a good sense of humor too: she named my grandma Sandy. I'm so blessed that I got to know her and my great grandpa as long as I did.

Thank you so much to everyone who sent well-wishes. Life is moving so fast these days!
Upcoming activities:
May 20th-Arts & Sciences reception
May 21st-Graduation
May 22nd-Go home
June 5th-John's Graduation from High School
June 7th-We move into my parents' new town house
June 11th-I move to St. Paul
June 14th-Graduate school starts

Oh, and did I mention that I'm splitting my apartment with my grandparents (about a week every month)? We're in for a long year!
-nicole

WHY I AM AN EPISCOPALIAN
------------------------------------------------------------------------
by Robin Williams

X No snake handling.

IX You can believe in dinosaurs.

IIX Male and female, God created them; male and female, we ordain them.

VII You don’t have to check your brains at the door.

VI Pew aerobics.

V Church year is color coded!

IV Free wine on Sunday.

III All of the pageantry, none of the guilt.

II You don’t need to know how to swim to get baptised.

And the number one reason for being an Episcopalian:

I No matter what you believe, there’s bound to be at least one other Episcopalian who agrees with you.

-nicole

Things are happening so quickly all of a sudden that even though I'm typing this at home in bed, I feel like I should be at starbucks frantically trying to get something done! Yesterday I found out that since I had applied to the wrong graduate school program (people who know me know that I'm just too ditzy sometimes), I'm going to start classes on June 14. It feels like getting off a roller coaster, then being pushed back on without having time to get any cotton candy, or catch even my breath. I'm going to split an apartment in St. Paul with my grandparents, although they'll probably only be there for a few days each month. Yikes! So I'm graduating on the 21st, my brother is graduating on June 5th, my parents are moving to Ann Arbor on June 7th, and I'll be living in Minnesota a week later. I feel like saying "Stop!" and taking time to be a lazy bum again. But at the same time, it's kind of exciting...Minneapolis/St. Paul is so beautiful, 5 of my cousins live there, John will be there, and I might get a dog. So, right now I'm trying to decide which type of dog would be best for me (instead of thinking about scary things like loans). Leave me a message, with reasons, please. I've always wanting a yorkshire terrier, but aren't guys repelled by cutsy dogs? Hmm. It would probably end up with a quirky name though, considering the last pet we got I named Benzene :)
-nicole
ps- Happy Birthday, Melanie! I hope the party's fun!

Pray that I pass my solar system final, or I won't be graduating in two weeks. That would be so incredibly horrible that I'm not even going to imagine it.
-nicole

Help!
Does anyone have free time on Tuesday and Wednesday and wants to congratulate ECMers about finishing finals? My parents decided to buy me a ticket to fly home for my great grandma's funeral, so I won't be here for Jen, Diana, Katherine Karr, Andrew, or Katy. Please leave me a message or im me if you want to suprise one of them (well, they know...but still). I have some stuff made, so it would pretty much just involve jumping out and scaring them after they come out of the test room (just kidding!)
-nicole

I think I'm going to use schnucks as a verb now. So, I can say that I'm schnucking this morning. When I get home, I will have schnucked...I'll be all schnucked out (or schnuckered). I love saying schnucks! The word is so addictive!

Did you know that some schnucks are fancier than others? The one on Clayton Road in Ladue is so upscale. I told a clerk that it was so beautiful and he said that the actual Schnucks family shops there. So, obviously.
-nicole

I think you can say that you've officially hit rock botton when you start drinking piña coladas while writing a philosophy paper. I'm going back to starbucks.
-nicole

I'm feeling kind of procrastinatish, so here's a list of the top ten places to study:
10. Mudd Library. I think it's the only semi-nice place to study on the forty where people won't be coming in all the time. There are magazines too!
9. Borders. It's so crowded sometimes, but the food is really good and you can take notes from books and then put them back.
8. Medical School library. I actually drove to find it... it's right next to Barnes-Jewish hospital (Lindberg, to Kingshighway, to Medical Center Drive, I think). It's 10 stories tall and has a huge atrium with balconies. It's really nice to study there at sunset because the windows are huge and it's such a beautiful view of forest park.
7. Astronomy and Physics library. I think it's in Crow Hall, (the almost most north-eastern part of campus). It's on the second floor. It's very quiet.
6. East Asian Library. It's the most beautiful library on campus and it's never very crowded. It's in January Hall, right across from Holmes and up the stairs. It's fun to explore the upper floors and there are no distractions from studying because everything's in Chinese or Japanese (unless you happen to know those languages- then it might be super distracting).
5. Music Library- This is a good place because almost no one goes there. It's inbetween campus and the forty, and there's stained glass. The hours are kind of annoying, but I might be the only one who likes to study on Sunday morning. There are also tiny rooms in the basement- you can ask for a key from the desk and listen to classical music while you work! It gets really claustrophobic after a while.
4. Olin Library- This is only here (oh wow, I'm such a nerd!) because the library is so handy for everything you need. There's the new computer lab with diner-booth seats, the wireless internet (but only on the 1st floor), and books in general. Does anyone else kind of miss the weird things that were written on the old desks, though? And how the graduate study rooms looked like confessionals? And the secret desks in the back of what used to be the 2nd floor? And the stale, musty book smell?
3. Law School Library- Just being there makes me feel sneaky. To get in after hours: enter on the 3rd floor (groundfloor facing campus), walk past the checkpoint without making eye contact with the student, make a right and take the stairs up to the fourth floor, walk around the quad area and into the library. Super-weird fact: in the 4th floor bathroom, it always sounds like someone is bagpiping in the distance! It reminds me of Harry Potter. There's also an ethernet port at every desk.
2. *shock* Starbucks. First, you get caffeinated drinks, which are important to any college student. You also get a comfy place to sit. You can talk to people around you or read the free newspaper if you get bored, but there's not always someone studying really hard right next to you to make you feel guilty. I've studied in them everywhere, including Oxford. My absolute favorite one, though, is on the corner of Wydown and Hanley, in Clayton, MO, because the people are all super-rich (fun to watch), and they bring their adorable children, Mark McGwire frequents it, and all of the baristas are really nice. Oh, and in the second week of April, the flowering trees are gorgeous.


and....





1. At home, in my bed, with my big fat cat cotton purring in my lap and a cup of Earl Greyer Tea on my nightstand.

5 more days of college!
-nicole

Starbucks has become overrun with high school students this week. I was watching them fill out outlines and try to study together, and it reminded me of what I thought about college students when I was their age. I remember seeing a group of college students studying really hard subjects like organic chemistry or ancient civilizations, and thinking that they must be so smart and dedicated, and I wondered if I could ever be like that. And then today it hit me that in less than three weeks, I won't even be a college student anymore. I kind of wanted to tell this group of really loud students tonight, who were obviously not getting any studying done and just putting it off to be with their friends, that I was bs-ing a 15 page research paper about second language acquisition and that tomorrow I'll be making up a theory about Freud's ideal democracy. So I never really learned.

The Secret SALT sabotage was a bust: email me -rosynic@yahoo.com- if you want people to congratulate you with balloons, cards, and maybe candy after your last final. It's an Oxford tradition!! (We're just skipping the egg and flour part).
-nicole

Starbucks has become overrun with high school students this week. I was watching them fill out outlines and try to study together, and it reminded me of what I thought about college students when I was their age. I remember seeing a group of college students studying really hard subjects like organic chemistry or ancient civilizations, and thinking that they must be so smart and dedicated, and I wondered if I could ever be like that. And then today it hit me that in less than three weeks, I won't even be a college student anymore. I kind of wanted to tell this group of really loud students tonight, who were obviously not getting any studying done and just putting it off to be with their friends, that I was bs-ing a 15 page research paper about second language acquisition and that tomorrow I'll be making up a theory about Freud's ideal democracy. So I never really learned.

The Secret SALT sabotage was a bust: email me -rosynic@yahoo.com- if you want people to congratulate you with balloons, cards, and maybe candy after your last final. It's an Oxford tradition (we're just skipping the egg and flour part)!!

I can't really deal with this:

I called the admissions office of University of Minnesota and Jessie Easton said that she had received a letter of recommendation for me, but that I wasn't applying to the M.A. program (I felt so stupid). So I called the M.Ed program and Jesse Langer (which was why I've been confused for so long), said that he hasn't received any application material from me!! But I had received an email from one of the Jessie's in March that said that everything was there except the last letter. So I ran home and found it and called Jessie back and she said, "Oh, I guess you are applying for the M.A. program...and oh, look. There's all of your application material. Oops." Then I called my mom back and accidently used a swear word to describe Jessie and now she's mad at me.

Things I haven't done yet:
- The conclusion for my Gender and Education paper
- Solar System internet assignment
- SLA research paper
- Philosophy final paper

What is due today: all of the above (except I have an extension on the Philosophy paper).
Today I wish I had a life and could be excited about silly things like the Friends finale...at least it will all be over by Monday!
-nicole

You know how every sitcom has an episode where one of the characters is planning a suprise party, but everything seems to go wrong, and it ends up with someone getting mad? Maybe that's why this secret plan isn't working. Well...it's going to be pretty funny for the few people who have responded, because there's going to be so much more for them!

**Prayer of the day: Lord, please help U of M, Twin Cities accept me. Or if you cannot, please let my entire extended family to stop holding their breaths that I will get in, because it's just too much pressure! Amen**

My last WILD wasn't so hot. First I bought raspberry vodka, which just tastes like raspberry-flavored nail polish remover, so I went back to schnucks to buy piña colada mix. Then my debit card didn't work, so I had to leave my groceries there and drive up the street to a bank to cash a check I got a month ago from babysitting. But I had to wait in line for 30 minutes and then it was past 6 and I couldn't bring anything into WILD. So I went home and drank rum with Melanie, then we went to WILD, but we both forgot our driver's license, so a policeman snatched a beer away from me inside...that was kind of scary, but nothing happened, except that I was paranoid for the rest of the night. To sum up the last two hours: I walked around with friends, met some guys, was a good friend and so didn't ditch my friends for a guy, then I was ditched by my friends. People have such a tendency to just wander off and forget they were talking to you. So I came home and watched the Tonight Show and ate sour cream and onion pringles (which are so incredibly good). And I think I called Andrew, but I can only remember laughing on the phone. I wish I had gone to lame, because it sounded like it would have been much more friendly. I'm not bitter though.

If you know the date, time (including when it ends), and exact location of your final exam, please im it to me or leave a comment (this includes SALT members too!). We're planning something sneaky and I need that information asap! thanks:)

My last WILD wasn't so hot. First I bought raspberry vodka, which just tastes like raspberry-flavored nail polish remover, so I went back to schnucks to buy piña colada mix. Then my debit card didn't work, so I had to leave my groceries there and drive up the street to a bank to cash a check I got a month ago from babysitting. But I had to wait in line for 30 minutes and then it was past 6 and I couldn't bring anything into WILD. So I went home and drank rum with Melanie, then we went to WILD, but we both forgot our driver's license, so a policeman snatched a beer away from me inside...that was kind of scary, but nothing happened, except that I was paranoid for the rest of the night. To sum up the last two hours: I walked around with friends, met some guys, was a good friend and so didn't ditch my friends for a guy, then I was ditched by my friends. People have such a tendency to just wander off and forget they were talking to you. So I came home and watched the Tonight Show and ate sour cream and onion pringles (which are so incredibly good). And I think I called Andrew, but I can only remember laughing on the phone. I wish I had gone to lame, because it sounded like it would have been much more friendly. I'm not bitter though.

If you know the date, time (including when it ends), and exact location of your final exam, please im it to me or leave a comment. SALT is planning something sneaky and I need that information asap! thanks:)

My last WILD wasn't so hot. First I bought raspberry vodka, which just tastes like raspberry-flavored nail polish remover, so I went back to schnucks to buy piña colada mix. Then my debit card didn't work, so I had to leave my groceries there and drive up the street to a bank to cash a check I got a month ago from babysitting. But I had to wait in line for 30 minutes and then it was past 6 and I couldn't bring anything into WILD. So I went home and drank rum with Melanie, then we went to WILD, but we both forgot our driver's license, so a policeman snatched a beer away from me inside...that was kind of scary, but nothing happened, except that I was paranoid for the rest of the night. To sum up the last two hours: I walked around with friends, met some guys, was a good friend and so didn't ditch my friends for a guy, then I was ditched by my friends. People have such a tendency to just wander off and forget they were talking to you. So I came home and watched the Tonight Show and ate sour cream and onion pringles (which are so incredibly good). I think I called Andrew, but I can only remember laughing on the phone. So it wasn't that bad.

If you know the date, time (including when it ends), and exact location of your final exam, please im it to me or leave a comment. SALT is planning something sneaky and I need that information asap! thanks:)