I swear that the only thing I do when I'm on vacation with my parents is eat! The little walking excursions around Chicago are just an excuse to eat more at the next meal. It's relaxing; I get a bit stressed about trying to find super cheap restaurants, even though I'm going to be doing that for a long time as a teacher. Yesterday, John and I took the subway to Chinatown- I love love love ethnic neighborhoods. They're by far the most interesting in the city. We bought dim sum, lanterns, and candy. I also bought a health food of some kind: it was on the same shelf as the candy, but is manufactured by a Biotechnology company. I don't know if I'll have the guts to try it though, being as brown and lumpy as it is. On Friday, I went to the Mexican Art Center, where they have an amazing collection of Hispanic artwork. Of course, I also went to the gift shop and bought a papier-mache piggy bank and a museum poster. Weird fact about me: I love raw fish but hate cooked fish. We went to a sushi restaurant last night and I ate a huge plate of salmon sashimi. I also had a glass of wine and it made me so tipsy; wine does that to me more than any other drink. Today I'm going back to the Twin Cities on a train- hmm, I wonder when I'll arrive? Hopefully before tomorrow.

Since I'm a little bored, I'll do this:
1.) Name: Nicole
2.) Age: 23
3.) Birthdate: 3/5/82.
4.) Hometown: none- I'm nomadic.
5.) Sign: Pisces.
6.) Occupation: Student
7.) Pet Peeve: When parents yell at their kids in public places.
8.) Fave foods: Hummus, pizza with feta and artichokes.
9.) Fave colors: Burgundy red and dusty pink
10.) Fave movie: Cinema Paradiso.
11.) Fave day(s): Sunday (usually)
12.) Fave Animals: penguins
13.) Fave Holidays: Easter and Christmas Eve
14.) Fave T.V. Shows: Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (it's sappy, but it makes me happy)
15.) Fave Actor: Clive Owen.
16.) Fave Actress: Reese Witherspoon
17.) Sweetest Gal: My grandma?
18.) Fave bands/singers: KEANE! I wish other people liked them as much- c'mon, they're like Coldplay mixed with Damien Rice:)
19.) Best Friend: I have the best friends, but I don't have a best one
20.) Fave Hangout: Starbucks
21.) Fave sport(s): Running and tennis
22.) Fave Thing to do: daydream about my future
24.) My most embarassing moment was: when a teacher emailed my advisor and (as a complete lie) told her that I was flashing the students
25.) The wackiest thing I did as a kid, was: went on a soil tour of Vermont with my biology teacher & friends so I could collect samples for my research project.
26.) Have you ever had your heart broken? It was avoidable, I pretty much did it to myself
27.) What are you wearing right now?: Gap flowery dress and short trench coat.
28.) What is the meanest thing anyone has ever said to you? A teacher called me "wearying"
29.) Are you in a relationship right now? No.
30.) Pepsi or Coke? Diet coke.
31.) Beach or Snow? Show- I hate sand on my feet
32.) Rainy or Sunny? both. My favorite days are right before a huge storm, when it's warm and windy.
33.) Square or Circle? Circle.
34.) Dark or Bright? both. :)
35.) Left or Right? right
36.) have a best friend: no
37.) have a girlfriend: no
38.) speak another language: hablo espanol, pero puedo leer y comprender mas
39.) drive: yes, in my cute little car
40.) have a car: see above
FRIENDS:
41.)last person you talked to online? I don't know- I don't have time to chat very much anymore.
42.)Who have you known the longest? Annie- we were born in the same hospital room, but I haven't talked to her for so long
43.)Who do you talk to online the most? umm, my brother?
46.)Who do you talk to on the phone most? My parents.
47.)Who do you trust the most? My friends, my brother
48.)Who listens to your problems? Lots of people
49.)Who do you fight with the most? My grandma
50.)Who is the shyest? me
51.)Who is the nicest? Jenny
52.)Who is the sweetest? Jake
53.)Who is the most outgoing? Julie
54.)Who is the smartest? my dad
55.)Who is the ditziest? my mom
56.)Who is the best singer? I don't know...Jonathan


When was the last time you..
57.)...took a shower? yesterday
58.)...had a serious conversation? I don't know
59.)...went to the mall? last week
60.)...went to the movies? Last night, Madagascar, big disappointment besides the penguins
61.)...had sex? a lady doesn't tell
62.)...got drunk? everytime I have a sip of alcohol, it seems...super- pass out drunk= never
63.) Are you talking to anyone online? no
64.)What are you doing? sitting in the hotel room, putting off packing
65.)Are you lonely or content? both- I think everyone is
66.) Are you listening to music? no
67.) Who is your worst enemy? myself- I'm like the protagonist in a woody allen film, it's a fight against my neuroses!:)
68.) Who do you cry to most often? I rarely cry to people
69.) What is your favorite perfume scent? ahh- Ibiza Hippie. that's my scent and I'm keeping it!
70.) Favorite school subject? Spanish
71.) Least favorite school subject? Anything to do with science that I can't see with my eyes (i.e. chemistry, physics, computer science, etc.) It's a pretty broad range
72.) Who will understand you the most? John
73.) Who was the last person that broke your heart? I did it to myself...he really wasn't to blame, which sucks because it would let me be mad at him
74.) Who is the love of your life? Umm, I think you have to be quite old to answer that question. Right now, the streets of Oxford, England

Who Was the Last Person...
75.)...to disappoint you? faculty advisor- I really really wish she had some idea what she was doing so my schedule isn't completely mixed up!
76.)...to ask you out? Daniel
77.)...to make you cry? Ty Pennington;) kidding!
78.)...brighten up your day? Juan
79.)...that you thought about? Well, since I just answered the last question, it would also be Juan
80.)...you went to the movies with? family, since I'm on vacation with them
81.)...you talked to on the phone? my mom
82.)...you talked to on AIM? I have no idea
83.)...you saw? my brother

Have You Ever...
84.)...slept outdoors? yes, camping
86.)...cussed someone out? I've never sworn at anyone
87.)...thought about suicide? in the passing way that everyone does at one point or another- especially near railings around high balconies
88.)...stayed up for 24 hours? no
89.)...swam in the rain or snow? I've been in a hot tub
90.)...gotten drunk? not pass-out or get sick drunk. just walk funny and giggle incessantly drunk
91.)...gone a day w/out eating? fasting
92.)...talked on the phone all night? no
93.)...smoked? never anything
94.)...made prank calls? I've called people I know and pretended to be someone else, but only my friends
95.)...been in love? I thought so, but no
96.)...slept all day? Once when I got home after finals week
97.)...killed someone? nope, not even a pet
98.)...been out of the country? yes, and I've decided to look for a job abroad too
99.)...told a girl/guy you loved them? no
100.)...if yes, did you mean it? n/a
101.)...gone skinny dipping? nope.
102.)...kissed someone you didn't know? yes:)
103.)...thought you were going crazy? well, I'm pretty spacey sometimes, but not crazy
104.)...threatened someone? no
105.)...wished that everything would change? no, I'm blessed

After spending many aggrevating hours trying to request official transcripts from Wash U and University of Minnesota today, I realized how lucky I am to have all this time to worry about my future. And a safety net to fall back on in case it doesn't work. Last night I realized that my job offer in Maryland is so much better than anything else I've found- it pays $15,000 than the next highest offer! So I'm rushing to get everything finalized:)

Anyway, since I made myself stop working after about 3 straight hours of screaming at wustl.edu, I started thinking about one of my favorite memories. When I was traveling around Europe two years ago in March, I was so lucky to spend a week in Barcelona with my dad. One night, we got dressed up and walked along the Ramblas to a little restaurant called El Café. There were street lamps inside at each table. Anyway, we split a pitcher of Sangria and after that, everything was extremely funny. As we walked through the city back to the hotel, people started leaning out their windows and banging on pots and pans. My dad was quite bewildered. It was a city-wide protest of the war. We saw people ride by on bikes banging pans. The city was so beautiful, exotic, and magic after dark. The Gaudí facades are lit up and music is always playing somewhere. When I was looking for new music on itunes, I found these songs which remind me exactly of how beautiful that day was. They're great summer songs!

Here's my Barcelona mix:

1. "Una Música Brutal" by Gotan Project
2. "Contigo" by Federico Aubele
3. "Je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais" by Stereo Total
4. "Vuelvo al Sur" by Gotan Project
5. "Esta Noche" by Federico Aubele
6. "Ante Tus Ojos" by Federico Aubele
7. "Le chant des coquelicots" by Amélie-les-crayons
8. "Por Arriba, Por Abajo" by Ricky Martin (Yes, I know, but it was in the Spanish days)

I spent all day at the Walker modern art museum with my 7 year old cousin, Pete. It was so much fun! We mostly walked around and said "ooh, that's weird." He's such a sweetie. Tonight my other cousin, Weezer, is spending the night. She told me that she thinks that if her dog was still alive that her parents wouldn't be getting a divorce. I'm going to miss them all so much.

I caught something horrible when I visited the kindergartners last week! I've almost never felt this lethargic before. This morning I was burning up and almost blacked out when I got up out of bed. I've got every symptom of a cold at the same time (watery eyes? check. incessent sneezing? check. completely gross cough? check. sinus pressure? check. runny nose? double check!) I walked downtown to get some ice cream and the woman behind the counter looked shocked because I sound like a cross between Nina Simone and the crypt keeper. And a little bit of a smoker hoarseness thrown in too. I have no desire to do anything except lay on the couch and bemoan the fact that I'm doing nothing when I have so much to do. Isn't the worse kind of business when the goals are undefined? I mean, my ultimate goal is to get a job. So how many stupid cover letters should I write every day? How much should I harass my advisors about returning their recommendations? Okay, just sitting up to type is wearing me out. I must lay down.

I feel like I keep apologizing for participating in common American behaviors (owning a cat, getting caught up in media hype, etc.), so I'm going to present my comments about reality television without saying that I'm stupid for watching it at all. Because I do...sometimes:) I have to admit that I watched a few episodes of The Bachelor recently. Then, last night, while folding my laundry, I saw the finale. And it was really, honestly, a beautiful capture of reality and extreme human emotions. I'm saying that with only a little bit of sarcasm (mostly directed towards myself for saying it!) But the last three people, the Bachelor and the two remaining contestants, made realistic, feeling, and un-publicity-motivated decisions. Which is a huge improvement over the Bachelorette (OMG, yes, I watched that too!) The behavior of all of those people rang so false to me that I had to turn off my TV. I think, eventually, television executives will realize that people are much more interested in (and society will benefit so much more from) televised moments that actually capture positive human emotions. Like on Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, which I watch every Sunday; the producers turn every scene into maudlin treacle (I love that word!), but it's all coming from a good place. It's not like gaining pleasure from watching very muscular people eat worms or backstabbing "friends" compete on children's playgrounds for prizes on a fake desert island. That's possibly as far from reality as you can get; and, it shows the worst of human behavior (i.e. how far would you go- over the bounds of decent, intelligent behavior- for money?) Last night, on the Bachelor, the episode was primarily about how much the contestants saw the articifial and cruel nature of what they were contractually obligated to do in front of a live audience. The Bachelor was shaking, he was so torn about dumping someone live. Well, the obvious thing to do would be to break the contract (or, for that matter, not choose to enter into the contrived reality show environment in the first place), but his gentlemanly behavior really put all other stupid reality behavior to shame. The contestants seemed so normal, too, making the situation much more relatable to me. When the last Bachelorette dumped one man after the other, both horribly and without apparent feeling (maybe because the situation grants that kind of callousness), I was mad. I think that reality television can actually capture human frailty- I still don't know why the producers need to construct so much false tension (there are only two roses left!) when real life has enough inherent difficulty and obstacles. So, that's my opinion of reality television. I hope my dad doesn't read this, because I'll never hear the end of it for critiquing reality tv- how can you analyse something that is so biased and artificial. If it can show us common humanity (which is rarely does), isn't that good programming? I would definitely tune in:)

Okay, Nicole's-future update!
I have one vote for Taiwan and one vote for taking chances. Both of those opinions could indicate approval of the Taiwan plan, but I have a few concerns. First, since I have no experience teaching abroad and don't have a TESL/TESOL license, I probably won't earn enough money to pay off my huge student loans. Second, I won't be able to see anyone I know for a year, because I can't afford to make more than one round-trip across the world. I think it would be an adventure, though, and I would probably gain so much from the experience. I hate the feeling that I need to make responsible decisions, but, well, I'm scared of more debt! Otherwise, I would be taking whatever job I could find in Barcelona. This is so frustrating! I'm kind of scared about taking a real job, but I feel like I have to. But I don't want to take whatever I can find- one of my friends is going to be teaching at Depressingly Run-Down middle school next year. If you read my blog, please give me more advice, if you have any ideas:)

Yay! It's time for "What should Nicole do with her life?" This requires some audience participation:

a) Take the job in Prince George's County, Maryland, even though I've never been to Maryland, it's supposed to be the most "crime-ridden" county in the state, I could be assigned to any grade level, and I currently have no place to live. On the positive side, I will be earning more than my dad did when he was an associate professor at Dartmouth (which isn't saying much, really, but it made him laugh).

b) Try to find a job here in the Twin Cities, taking into account that every other person in my graduating class is looking for a job here and both districts are making huge cutbacks. Also, I'm tired of all the family drama in this frozen tundra. But, I do have a cute appartment and really nice friends.

c) Try to find a job in _____________ (please fill in the blank with a location, anywhere in the world that you think I should go. Please give a reason,too).

d) Move back to my parents' bed & breakfast and work at Starbucks. Take into account that I will be highly caffeinated and living with my parents, which might be a combustible situation;)

I need to make a good decision this time! I chose Wash U because I remembered the pretty tulips from when I toured the campus (which I realized right away are only planted for visitors). I chose University of Minnesota because I was scared of living by myself in New York City (I still can't believe I turned down Steinhardt)! So, this time, I need some input first. If you have suggestions about the right way to make this choice, please tell me. Should I do something wild and try NYC now? Should I do something compassionate (and crazy) and choose southern California, where I'm needed? Should I move back near my parents since I like having familial support? Or should I move to Taiwan because it would be an experience and it's time I did things on my own? Okay. Please Respond :)

Oh my gosh. Either these people have election withdrawl or they need a really big reality check.

You know I'm determined never to be defined by a pet...I never ever "stay home with my cat" on a Saturday night, for example, nor will I ever let any person come to think (erroneously) that I'm a "cat lady." However, I am not ashamed to say that I was once a fish-owner. Sometime last week, sadly, my fish Tutu passed away. She was approximately 9 months old. I was informed of her death this evening by my uncle, who had been taking care of her for the past few weeks. Due to the tone of his voice and his attempts to make light of the situation by implying that her last words were his name, I suspect foul play.

Well, seriously, I'm a little sad about my fish, Tutu. She was such a survivor! I mean, she spent two minutes down in the garbage disposal (not while it was on) for heaven's sake! She lived in an apartment with a cat, ever aware of the imminent threat of being batted around. She was my first "friend" in Minneapolis. And she was so pretty! Oh well. At least she could say she lived life to the fullest (that one can when confined to a one gallon bowl, eating flake food, and not having the mental capacity for a learning curve).

Today was my last official day in my post bac program! It was so emotional. Well, no, it was actually pretty wild, since Julie threw a Cinco de Mayo party tonight. Alejandra decided to demonstrate the Mexican hat dance for everyone...oops, forgot our classroom is right over the department offices! Then I went to technology class and presented my webpage. It is so cute compared to everyone else's- much too technical ;) I'm just kidding, it looks so much less professional, but I'm over it. I only have one more learning module to design and turn in next week and I'm done with Spring semester. I told my professor that I had to leave class early because I was parked so far away and it was going to storm. Only now do I realize that that sounds like a cop out. I really wasn't being sneaky! Oh well.

Hmm...I think I might move to Virginia...or Vermont...or Arizona...I want to make the decision about where I want to live for once in my life! The past times it's all been decided for me (I was coerced by family into coming here, for example). I think that near Washington, D.C. would be ideal because there are just so many cute politicians! Okay, the ones on c-span, not so much, but they must be out there somewhere. With my luck, probably hidden in the depths of the RNC.

*Random thought of the day:
my aunt gets the weirdest combination of tv channels: only the weather channel, Pax, c-span, and the tvguide channel.

Alright, I'm not an expert at being anti-establishment, but I'm starting a boycott!
Wal-Mart pays their employees about $9 an hour, which puts most of them under the poverty line. They also receive about $2000 less in benefits than employees at most big corporations. Costco is a much better employer: they pay their employees $13 per hour and have much better benefits. So, even though I've never actually been in a Wal-Mart (I've never even seen one!), I'm going to boycott it in the future in protest of the lack of respect/pay for employees. (Taking the other approach, shopping there more in hopes that profits will go to employees, is naive- I think. They would probably just hire more low-paid employees or give the CEOs bigger bonuses).

Power to the people! (I can't pull that off:))
Now I'm going to Starbucks for the day!

I'm in a complaining sort of mood, so here it is:
I'm so sick of being in school. We had class for 3 1/2 hours today, one hour of which was spent meeting our penpals. Since two of mine had been consecutively kicked out of school, I got to spend the time applying temporary tatoos and cleaning up crumbs. Then I had to present my single licensure poster 6 times in a row. And my post looked so amateur compared to the rest. It was swirly, loopy, lettering, and lots and lots of colors (I thought I would be presenting to the whole class!) Most people had authentic examples and a few even made graphs. After that 35 minutes of non-stop talking right next to the radiator, I had to listen to 6 more presentations. Now I'm going to eat dinner, then go to Starbucks and start typing up my single licensure paper (8 pages) which I really want to turn in early on Thursday.

In addition to having a grating day in general, I'm nervous about getting a job. My super-organized friend Jenny already has one! I haven't even sent my applications to more than three schools. I think I might want to move to Virginia or Maryland; somewhere close to Washington. I've wanted to live there since I was in middle school, and this is my chance to choose, right? Before there are factors in my life, like a life (&family), that will keep my tied to one place. It frustrates me that I keep having to make these huge choices every few years: where to go to college, where to go to graduate school... I'm exhausted.